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Missing in Battle Sussex

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Linda Mc, Jul 24, 2007.

  1. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    Just read a report of a gentleman suffering from Alzheimer's and Epilepsy who went missing in Battle. Apparently he is well known in the area.

    I can't begin to imagine what his family and friends must be going through.

    Linda
     
  2. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hopefully they will find this gentleman very soon, safe and well. On the local news last week a lady went misssing from her home, thankfully she was found the next morning not far from her home. She had apparently got disorientated and wandered into a open paddock she fell over and was covered by the long grass. She was suffering from hypothermia and a broken arm.The spokesperson from the state emerengcy services, said that, it was quite common to find missing dementia persons close to home. Pray for a good outcome. Taffy.
     
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    I 2nd that , any update , as in if they found him Linda ?
     
  4. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    And I third it.

    If this is the first time of 'going missing' I have nothing but sympathy .... if it was known it might happen or could have been prevented .... then I wonder, not only is there anxiety for the missing person but what may possibly have been done by those responsible for him to have avoided the situation arising in the first instance.

    Love, Karen, x
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    #5 Skye, Jul 26, 2007
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2007
    I'm not sure it's always possible to prevent someone with dementia from wandering, Karen.

    Wandering is a common symptom of some forms of dementia, and we've had posts from so many on the forum agonising about how to prevent it.

    The short answer is, without admission to a locked facility there is little that can be done.

    I too hope that the person has been found safe and well. I think it's inevitable that the people responsible for his care will have the guilt monster on their shoulders, but in my opinion they shouldn't.

    Love,
     
  6. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,419
    This poor man went missing on the 18th. The problem is, good news doesn't always get reported, although bad news always seems to.
     
  7. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Quite! That's why I was making the distinction ( or trying to) about 'first time' it happens and subsequent 'wanders' ......

    I hope mum never gets to - or better still by-passes - the 'wandering' stage - but if she does it will make me review her whole care (never mind safety) and my ability to cope with it in a very different light .....

    Karen, x
     
  8. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
  9. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    My Dad has a tendency to 'wander', well as far as he's concerned he knows exactly where he's going but doesn't think to tell the rest of us!

    Now he doesn't have his car it's less of a worry, but as others have said the only alternative at the moment is to keep him under lock and key. We tried that once and he was MAD!! It was my Mum's idea and I have to say not one of her better ones. It took me ages to calm him down.

    It's a question of balance between respecting his independence and ensuring his safety. He takes the dog for a walk every day which is really good for him (and the dog:) ) but if he decided to get on the train to Manchester, which he threatened to do last week, who knows what would happen.

    I just hope that this man is found safe and well.

    Obviously if something as awful as this happened we would have to rethink our 'open door' policy.
     
  10. cris

    cris Registered User

    Aug 23, 2006
    326
    Chelmsford
    Well that's what I do - lock the doors. The front door is dead-locked. The back gate is padlocked. The back door I do not worry about to much, locked at night with the key left in it. If I did not do that Susan would be out and away sometimes when she is angry. Keys are left around but Susan does not know how to use them. It is the same with the back gate, just a simply padlock, not even fastened, but has a bolt. I know Susan is safe even if she is confined with me.
    For doors you can buy "intruder" sensors, for hotels etc. There are children monitor / watch straps.
    Has anyone tested / tried these ??
    cris
     
  11. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    and each person is different.

    For someone at a stage when they are still able to be [almost] normal in so many things, yet unsafe to be on the streets alone... it is different ....from someone who has gone past that stage and is less able to act.

    Every case is different.

    Every place is different.

    There's no one solution, no way any one person can maintain scrutiny 24 hours each day.

    Murphy's Law was never so much in evidence..

    The variant I like best is "If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. "

    However I also like the variant "Nature always sides with the hidden flaw "

    All you can do is your best.
     
  12. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    #12 BeckyJan, Jul 26, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2007
    I echo that! - I hope the poor relatives of this gentleman can read these posts - it will give them such tremendous support.

    Beckyjan
     
  13. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,419
    Yes, and I suppose every cloud has a silver lining. When I get upset by the fact that my mother can no longer walk, I do try to remember that the plus point of that is that there is absolutely no possibility of her wandering away.
     
  14. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    John hasn't been out on his own since his last fall, when the doctor said he shouldn't be out on his own. I keep the doors locked when we're in.

    But twice in the last few days I have caught him, coat and shoes on, dog on lead, going out the front door. I do hope this isn't the start of 'wandering'. If it is, not only do I have to keep the doors locked, I have to make sure he's never out of my sight. Impossible!
     
  15. Tamariu

    Tamariu Registered User

    Jul 28, 2007
    22
    Winchester
    Hi,

    I'm John's niece and I'm the one who starting spreading the word about this on various boards. I just wanted to assure you that the minute I get good news I will be flying to the computer to share it with everyone.

    Ann
     
  16. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Tamariu

    thanks for posting here as well - we are all concerned, and would be grateful for an update when you have news.

    Fingers X-ed
     
  17. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Ann, welcome to TP. We're all so concerned about your uncle. So many of us are caring for people who 'wander', and it's very much a case of 'there but for the grace of God'.

    I do hope you get some good news soon.

    Love,
     
  18. Tamariu

    Tamariu Registered User

    Jul 28, 2007
    22
    Winchester
    Hi everyone,

    I'm afraid to report that there is still no news of John.

    My Mum has sent out the following update to everyone we have contacted about his disappearance, so I thought I would share it with you.

    JOHN ALLEN MISSING.

    We have had an amazing response to the “cry for help” to publicise my brother’s disappearance. Sadly there is no news of John yet and it’s 10 days since he disappeared. We keep thinking “he must be somewhere”.

    I cannot put into words the gratitude we owe to you all for your wonderful response to our need, even from those of you who do not know any of our family.

    Thank you for forwarding my niece, Clare’s E-mail containing John’s photo to your contacts. The info has been shared far and wide. Clare particularly asks me to express thanks on her behalf.

    Thank you for putting it on the web sites you know and for your helpful suggestions.

    Thank you above all for your love-filled messages and your prayers. They are giving us the strength we need as we wait and wait and wait…………………..

    The Police have assured us that they are not giving up the hunt.
    We shall Email everybody the moment we have any news.

    It gave us particular joy when our daughter, Ann, received an E-mail from Canada, via one of her websites, which started “John is also my uncle”. This was from a niece on Rosetta’s (John’s wife) side of the family, who I knew nothing about. She wrote
    “The last time I saw Uncle John was about 18 years ago when my husband and I came to the UK for a visit on our way to a backpacking tour through Europe. They were all so kind to us, and my husband still has fond memories of their late evening chats about history and archaeology…. I am reminded in my constant thoughts of what a gentle man he is and of his patience… especially with our endless questions. Even though I had not seen him in years, he left a lasting impression of quiet wisdom.”

    For those who’d like a fuller picture of what is going on, we are including an attachment showing Thursday’s article from the Hastings & St. Leonard’s Observer.

    Once again, thank you all so much, Love Jill



    The article Mum refers to above can be found on http://www.hastingsobserver.co.uk/ViewArticle.aspx?SectionID=477&ArticleID=3065815. In the article, my cousin Clare describes the problems she has had with John's wandering in the past - problems I guess people on this site will be able to empathise with more than most. Reading some of your stories makes me realise how hard it must be for people in this situation and my sympathies go out to you too.

    I'd like to add my thanks to Mum's. When I first posted the news of John's disappearance to the various websites it was simply to publicise it. I had no idea how many messages of support we would get and how much those messages would help the family. I'll also reiterate Mum's point that we will let you know as soon as we get any news.

    Ann
     
  19. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    Ann

    Just to say I am glad you joined the forum and thank you for updating us.

    Sending warmest wishes to you Jill and Clare and hope you get good news soon.

    Linda x
     
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,718
    Kent
    Dear Ann,

    I can`t imagine what you and your family are going through. My husband was missing for four hours, and that was bad enough.

    The publicity you have sought can only be good, and I sincerely hope someone will notice John and have the presence of mind to act.

    You are doing everything you can, and from recent personal experience I imagine the police are doing everything they can too.

    I do hope you hear some news soon, and the news is good.

    With love xx
     

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