Meditation as a tool to support a carer in extremis (a personal experiment)

Big Effort

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Jul 8, 2012
I am reassured

Hello Hazel/Skye,

Now, that is interesting. Vertigo..... and as you are doing the same program as me, then you have done the mind-body linking and are now adding in the spiritual aspect..... you have vertigo, and I have head-flu!

This makes it all the more reassuring. So I'll use it all as an excuse to lol about in bed a bit, take it easy. And savour the experience rather than shun it.

As I said to Fiona, I can let you have the recording, so you can continue at leisure. When I did the brainwave entrainment (absolutely brilliant, the biggest, deepest relaxation I have ever experienced), I repeated the six month program three times. One advantage is I recognise brain states (alpha, beta frazzle, good beta, theta and delta) instantly and can even direct myself into brain states, good for meditation. It also helped me to understand others, especially help them get out of high-intensity beta frazzle (my expression for people in an intense, hyped-up state, stress and emotional turmoil).

I am going to take today off though. Just the physical exercise, no mental stimulus.
Hugs to both of you, BE

Big Effort

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Jul 8, 2012
Perfect Health: Eating for Health

Today has been a day of repose. Lying in bed, resting, non-strenuous, observing me. It is day 11 (14 actually, but I do it at my own pace) of the Perfect Health meditation challenge.

I have a kind of mental 'flu', due to overstretching myself meditation-wise. I have read about these things, a kind of envy of those who were reaching so far that mental stretching gave way to physical malaise. Well, it's happened to me for the first time. While it may be a 'sign' of healing, it feels more like a case of flu without the virus! Sore-ish head, temples throbbing now and again, physically sensitive, and tired, tired, tired. Insights have come too, and with each insight, the discomfort evaporated instantly, but returned later.

I was totally in tune with week one as that brought body and mind together - insights there, but safe territory (for me) really. It is this week, that brings Spirit to meet the body-mind that creates dissonance for me. For 50 years Spirit was something (I believed) only quacks, idiots and charlatans indulged in. A perfect aethiest. But now I have a different concept of Spirit, and it isn't confused with god, God, or any religious interpretation. So this week, I get to meet Spirit, and it is not surprising that the clash of sensations and insights had me 'overdosed'. Small bites for a beginner like me.

Those with greater spiritual background than me, with greater meditational background than me, have rallied round and given comfort. "This isn't illness," they say, "but a sign of healing! Stick with it." I bow to greater wisdom, and hope to soon be a picture of bounteous health and spiritual empowerment.

But how does this all relate to the Alzheimer Walk? Lots of ways really. I want to be kind and compassionate to Mum, but feel very challenged currently, as there is so much dementia and so little Mum. I want to use this 'career break' to the best of my abilities, and get fit, healthy, energetic, and spiritually evolved.

Had a great recipe idea. Have a heart-healthy carrot cake, but want to make it with coconut oil.... time to get creative with coconut oil and learn to make really gourmet food, perhaps even becoming a curry expert and play with Creole foods. Made turkey fillets in a spicy creole sauce for lunch, using coconut oil, of course. I intend to keep Mum's mental wheels well oiled, and the rest of the family too. Have ordered 12 one pound pots and a 10kg tub, as it keeps well and to save on transport costs.

Time to stop. Early bed. Hopefully I can get back into pushing my boundaries again tomorrow. I have a lot of Jack Russell terrier in me, like to go at things hammer and tongs, so this enforced rest feels..... well, enforced! I hope to be a better person, especially a better carer tomorrow.

Big Effort

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Jul 8, 2012
What comes down must go up!

Dear All,
I know some of you have been concerned for me......
And Fiona, you pointed out that this mental flu is the precursor to healing......
Well you are right! Insights are flowing non-stop.
Ha! Ha! Ha! He! He! He!
[Here I am having a hearty laugh!}

As advised in the Dharma book I have, I shall keep most of it to myself, as it either sounds manic (I alone have understood the workings of the world, and life is now so simple), or I am so caught up in my own process that I can alienate others - as it isn't their process or evolutionary stage.
Obviously it feels better to be up than down.
Insight meditation - noting, noting, noting (obviously this will only be understandable to those who know what Insight Meditation is)..... Well, Fiona, I am noting, and by noting I am seeing and understanding.
For others who are not on the Evolutionary Path, my appologies. I just wanted to point out that (for me) I have walked through some Shadows, and now I see big Patches of Sunlight as well as the Shadows.
I will try to make my next posts as I continue with the Perfect Healing meditation of more general interest. [For anyone interested in starting, it is still available, free, on-line, contact me by PM for the link.]
This photo illustrates how I feel, sunshine and shadows, where the sun shines there is total clarity, and yet shadows remain to be explored and enlightened!

Have a wonderful, fruitful day everyone, from a BE who feels very, very liberated right now (while I acknowledge this is merely a feel-good phase on the path to Awakeness/Enlightenment). Still, may your day be great, to anyone who reads this!
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Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
I'm glad you're feeling better, BE. So am I.:) In fact, I feel positive and am thinking clearly again.:)

Following Fiona's suggestion, I checked back to see what the theme had been when I started to feel ill. Sure enough, it was 'Putting balance into your life'. Yes indeed, that has been one of my problems, and I think lack of balance is pretty inevitable when one is very committed to dementia care.

But I'll get there. Tomorrow's meeting should let some light into my shadowy areas.;)

Onwards and upwards, BE. I'm so grateful that you pointed me in the direction of this challenge. And yes please, I'd love a copy of the program.


Big Effort

Account Closed
Jul 8, 2012
Dementia is taking over so life is not easy for me

It is a strange time for me..... I have two very powerful tools for self-help at my disposal, one is a 21 day meditation challenge that focuses on Perfect Health. It is just the kick up the backside that I need, as I have been letting my health get neglected as I put more and more effort into keeping Mum physically well and mentally as well as is possible.
Two, I have started a six week Mindfulness course (Loving kindness, compassion and self-compassion) with Jack Kornfield, who is in my opinion, absolutely at the top of his field. His "Path with Heart" was pivitol to my discovering a True Self within and without.

Yet, it is such a challenging time. Mum is at such a difficult stage of this dreadful, savage disease. I find it hard to concentrate on either course with all the chaos, and how upset I feel at not being able to smoothe over the dementia cracks at the moment. I do understand that is this a stage, a stage of a progressive disease, but it takes a whole lot of energy just to be with it - my inner child would love to go back to bed, or take time out, or hide......

What do I feel like right now? A chocolate muffin, all heated and gooey.... something like this according to my current mind-state is what would be a comforting emotional 'fix'.....

But, when I do become mindful, and I listen within, when I delve below the automised, habitual 'get-comfort-food-fix' way of reacting to emotional trauma (for, yes, these are genuinely traumatic times for me), I realise that my reaching for comfort food is not going to solve this pain.

How do I know this?
First off, I don't actually like chocolate in desserts. So a choc-muffin isn't what tickles my tastebuds, I know I will be disappointed. Like most chocolate desserts it will disappoint me.

Also I really did learn something new in the Perfect Health meditations of week 1. I know how to reconnect my mind and my body now. I really do. This isn't an illusion, or wishful thinking. I know how to make contact between my mind and my body.

So I had a good look at the choco-muffin (which I bought for husband and not me in the first place), and saw something I don't really want. Neither my mind nor my body wants it.

To reconnect my body and my mind (and create a healthy space where my spirit will want to reside in) is what I suddenly know how to do.

OK, so plan of action to cope more gracefully with the next hours.
Make Mum as comfortable as possible, and leave her with long playing DVD.
Get some back yoga done so my body can tell me how it is (I have learned that I store emotional baggage in my spine, esp. my lower spine).
Go for a row, use all my muscles, my legs, my back, my arms, my chest and my stomach...... and get some deep breathing going..... this allows my mind to 'hear' my body and sense it, reestablishing body-mind contact.
Then a nap as I am totally exhausted.
Then working through the next module of the Mindfulness course (which of course is going to make me cry as I learn to really listen within and no doubt some karmic reasons for all the Dementia Walk will surface....
If Mum were in better mental shape, I would go for a cycle, but not today.

Big Effort

Account Closed
Jul 8, 2012
Cross-pollination between TP and my Mindfulness course

Here I am again. It is a break through day for me, and insights have flowed. Nice ones of seeing the bigger picture. Understanding Why. And I have been active on the various sections of TP, as so many kind and caring people have held me with such amazing grace and compassion.

Then I went to my email inbox. More messages. More understanding. More love and respect. It has been a day of receiving healing for me.

Good Friday - how symbolic is that?

To save time, as I don't want to let this Perfect Healing Meditation thread lapse, I am cutting and pasting a comment I added to the Mindfulness course I am doing. It seemed appropriate and cross-pollinates a bit of the healing and compassion I have received here on TP.

So to better understand my comments, imagine yourself being taught how to be compassionate, first to others and finally to oneself. And here is my response to Jack Kornfield's compassion teaching, second module.

"It is a strange thing for me to read your compassion practice. I am a member of the Alzheimer Support Forum, and I have spent a couple of hours a day being compassionate, deeply, deeply compassionate to others. I know I have helped many many people, and in turn they have reached such compassionate, healing out to me. On Jan 5th my wonderful, almost 50 year old brother suffered a severe burst aneurysm – touch and go. First Mum with severe Alzheimers, and now her son, and it appeared he had severe memory loss also. I was just broken. Devastated. I posted my shock and grief, and within a couple of days more than 3000 users had extended their arms, minds and hearts (each contribution different as per their individual strengths) to me. Now that was COMPASSION. My goodness, the healing I drew from that. I was blanketed in care, kindness, concern, shared experiences, and love. This, in such numbers, for 3000 is huge, was a turning point for me. I still find it hard to love me, but I do know what it is like to receive unconditional good will from others. You know, it isn’t important whether we know them personally or not, each message of goodwill soothed my soul and heart. My brother is making stunning progress, our own personal miracle. So many minds joined to wish him well, and I am still awed by the power of goodwill/prayer/call it what you will.

This experience in January was transforming for me. I count. I matter. People hear me and feel what I feel and want to soothe the pain. My unexpected gift from the Alzheimer forum was Pure Compassion.

Consequently, it has boosted my conviction that compassion/love does heal. So everytime I meditate, I hold all those I know who suffer, in their various ways, and send compassion. When it feels right, I touch them in my mind’s eye. I hold my precious brother’s head in my hands……. I scan my other brother’s body for pre-leukaemia and heal what comes up, I hold the hands of carers as they watch their loved ones fade into dementia, and so on and on. It works and it benefits me as well as others I am sure. This practice feels very real to me and natural.

But, me sending compassion to me. Well that is a new slant. Self-compassion? Don’t do that! Yet. And boy, oh boy, do I hurt as I watch Mum slip into the vicious jaws of Alzheimers. Taking memories, taking her past, obliterating her present…… and this is a very painful thing for me to observe. I see it and she doesn’t. So I do need to learn to deliver a daily dose of Self-Compassion.

I shall go upstairs and do 10 minutes of good hard rowing (too cold to cycle today), to make contact with my body. I spend a lot of time in my mind, and often my mind-body contact is poor. Recently I have started regular exercise and hatha yoga to strengthen this body-mind connection. Once body and mind are aligned, I shall come back down here, sit quietly and do the practice you describe, Jack. Thank you. And I shall send you and all those here on this course compassion too……. let me know when you feel it….. it will be coming your way every day for a while!

Big hugs, ...."

Finally two symbols, and those who provoked them will understand their greater meaning:

Yep, I am a hedgehog carer and take in sick hedgehogs and release them to the wild.

Thank you for the healing, Anchor man!

Big Effort

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Jul 8, 2012
Update - Perfect Health meditation series = my progress

Hi all,

I am very sorry to be so inconsistent with posting here. I am very pushed right now because Mum is extra challenging (so energy levels are low right now), then there is the Perfect Health meditation each day (I am now on day 18), plus a Mindfulness six week interacting course with Jack Kornfield..... so it is hard to give each the attention it deserves.

Mind-body contact:
My understanding of mind-body link has taken giant strides through Chopra's Perfect Health meditations. It is changing a whole lot of aspects, I am more conscious and conscientious about getting physical exercise. My food requirements are totally changed, and no matter what I prepare for others, I find I only want veg and fruit at the moment. It feels good to get these messages so clearly.

I have struggled so much with this since her downturn. The practices I am learning in the Mindfulness course are turning out to be very practical interventions. I have finally really learned how to 'witness' or be the observer of my thoughts and sensations. I did that last night as the familiar wall of fear and dispair built and built - just as hubby and I were planning a good night's sleep. It was an interesting experience, and I noticed that whenever I do body scans (part of yoga nidra) or Mindfulness 'fishing exercise' I am not actually located in my body but actually observe from the right, slightly behind my body. This is consistent.

Perfect Health:
I am taking steps, consistent ones, aware ones towards maintaining Perfect Health. First the total rundown of bloods, today I am off for my anti-cancer breast scan today(in France the over-50s get called up every two years), done my colo-rectal cancer test, and next stop is the gynaecologist (you will be pleased to hear this, SueJ!!) All concerns about memory (is Alz infectious??) have gone and my memory is much improved (totally fine) since starting the yoga nidra. I was promised that this practice would bring parts of my brain back 'on-line' and it has.

I just love Deepak's insights into health, and what perfect health is, and I have determined to listen to the 21 day meditation again and again, in sequence, as each health concept builds on the other, for the next six months or so.

Outside world:
Much is afoot in the outside world also. I have taken over a whole clutch of teaching for a colleague (she fears she has Parkinsons), so lots of interaction with very smart adults in the workplace..... it was encouraging to see how favourably they interact with me. It kicks off on Monday. Have more or less decided to restart the consultancy business I had in Germany, as my French is now up to speed. We have put our Irish house in the hands of a very active German agent since yesterday, so there is every chance my cords with Eire will soon be severed, and we can move on.

Turning the corner:
I have this strong sense that I am also about to turn the corner with Mum, and be able to serve her growing needs with serenity again. It was hard for me to let her drop into the realm of 'those who cannot recover or ever be normal again', a big step. However whenever I resist this, her Dementia really rams the message home: Demetia Rules whether I like it, accept it, resist it, fight it or not. This is one human battle that I am not going to win.

Perfect Health recordings:
To those who have asked me for the recording, you will need to PM me or email me with your postal address and I will burn it down onto a CD for you. I am so pleased that some of you did get involved, and just regret it had to take place here in the outback of the forum. Meditation and health are so important to carers and sufferers, and I would have loved for many other mainstream users to have had access to this free online course.

Onwards and upwards..... take care..... BE

Big Effort

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Jul 8, 2012
Thanks for the support

To those who PM-ed me or sent an email, thank you! I will burn CDs and send them on (just wait until I finish the Perfect Meditation myself).

Glad a couple of you are reading Chopras 'How to know god' as there is mindblowing, inspirational stuff in there. It was a treat for me as I am not at all religious, so to discover a god unlinked to the dogma (and trauma) of religion, well it opened my mind.

On my Perfect Health trajectory, I had my breast scan yesterday. All clear, no issues. I won't get the xrays back until they have been reviewed by an independent second group of specialists, but good to go for another two years [we get tested here every 2 years after 50].

On the way home, Mum kept asking for lunch (we had had lunch at lunchtime), and it was 4.30, but she kept up the moaning, so I visited a McD drive-through. She wolfed it down with great pleasure, and I know I won't be going back for another one!

By amazing coincidence, it was the same radiologist who scanned me as who did the xrays of Mum's pelvis two weeks ago. She had no fractures or fissures so good to walk (except she has pain), but she was furious with him. She is convinced he xrayed her face and not her pelvis. Nothing will change her view of this! And guess what! I don't try...... is that a sign of me turning the corner??? I sure hope so.

Today is another day and I have a lot of Mindfulness to do as the next module is on-line, and my yogi in India is stepping up the practice too...... Namaste!

Big Effort

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Jul 8, 2012
MIndfulness: and the learning continues

Today I started the fourth module of the Mindfulness program. Oh but it comes close to the core wound. It gives the exact practice I require to manage this stage of Mum's dementia with balance, poise, equanimity, compassion, love, acceptance....... all those things I have striven for and failed to locate within when Mum lashed out at me.

Now there in nothing between achieving these states except practice. And that in itself stirs up quite a bit of fear and insecurity. I am finding this course very very good. Will I rise to this challenge and become the person I want to be and Mum needs now?

One of the women posted a beautiful poem by Rumi, called The Guesthouse, so when reading this, and coping with dementia, see yourself as a Guesthouse (apropos: did you know I always wanted to run a B&B in our historic house in Ireland? How bizarre is that? Now we sell the historic home, cut ties with Eire, and I get to run a Guesthouse within).

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.​


Big Effort

Account Closed
Jul 8, 2012
Night of Insights

I don't know how to write this post. So much to say. Knowing that being forced to post all this 'evolution through Alzheimers' doesn't belong in the resource section. All the reading I am doing insists that this is a shared process, a participative process, and yet I am not permitted to blaze my evolutionary trail due to dementia on the main forum. The isolation is all wrong. No feedback......

...... and yet, this is the Way. I have no doubt at all about this. So as my time on Alz Org dwindles (an administratively enforced isolation), the Greater Plan continues to unfold irrespective of unnecessary artificial barriers.

Let's see what I can share, even from down here in the bowels of TP. To say Talking Point is a mis-nomer as I am the only one talking, unheard and unseen, in a back water. No matter. I will talk and then move on if this is the Greater Plan. And believe me, the Greater Plan is unfolding so fast I can hardly write it all down (so thank heavens for my diary).

Just some brief pointers, for there will be others here who 'know' that there are times of evolutionary growth, those big challenges that push us right out of our comfort zone consistently, and that for some of us the Evolutionary Push will be dementia (either as a 'victim' or as a carer).

* It sounds a heresy, but I realised that Alzheimers was Mum's parting gift to me. None of my siblings could cope, so I had to. I lost everything I had worked to create (job, career, income) and instead was forced (for I was not an eager learner) to walk through my own Dark Night of the Soul.

* Some crazy chance (as seen through my Small Self, my Big Self 'knows' this was opportunity, a call to evolve) linked me with a genuine Indian guru. An evolved being. Even as I shuddered through a mental-flu of emotional and spiritual overload, his reply was, "No, BE. No slowing down, no cutting back on yogic practice. This is what yoga is for (the yoga nidra, the breathing practices, the body-mind yoga)." And last night the insight struck. Yes, these people have been practicing yoga (mental practices and physical) in order to forge a very strong body-mind-spirit base, so as we evolve we can handle all the power/insight/evolution.

* The 21 day Perfect Health Challenge furnished me with some important missing data, for me on how to maintain the body-mind link even under duress. It was obvious but I have not seen it. Now I have included daily practices to help 'ground' my mind-spirit in my body, and strengthen my body for this task, i.e. cycling, rowing, weight training and of course hatha yoga. And as I took that step..... evolution just got faster.

* Padraig's post that I saw 'by coincidence' last night is yet another part of the puzzle. I had been reading about resiliance, about over-coming our inertia and, in my case, unwillingness to push myself even if if didn't feel marvellous. An example would be, it sometimes feels nicer to sit warm at home than peddle up a hill, breathless, heart pounding and in a damn cold wind. But such a course of action just feeds the Small Self, and is anathema to the Warrior Within.

I've adjusted to a life as unpredictable as I experienced with my wife's Alzheimer's. Some days I'm pain free then unannounced suddenly during the day or night I suffer pains as though my inside is on fire. It makes me appreciate my pain free days days all the more.
One of the positives I'm grateful to have gained from caring for my wife was to value each moment of time I'm granted, and make the best of it. Crazy as it may seem, no matter how tired I feel I do my morning run just to convince myself that I can. If there is a tomorrow it can wait for now.
Life is one big challenge and each one you overcome makes you tougher, and I'm sure the saying that applies to you is correct: when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Now Padraig is a warrior, and he is wise, and nothing frightens him. I have learned so much from his posts and his world view. Thank you Padraig!

* In the flow. It is hard to believe my Small Self that all the coincidences that keep unrolling are just chance. I mean, why now? Why do I get the answer as soon as I ask the question? 21 Day Challenge came, easy to grasp as it was free on the internet. Next came the scholarship to Mindfulness with the king of Heart-Work, Jack Kornfield. Powerful stuff, about dealing with trauma (Mum's and my old traumas as the old-guard authorities hit back and tried to silence and then eliminate me). Big lessons on compassion, evolution, the Greater Plan. Help!!!!

* The teaching, three days a week in two companies. The Greater Plan realised that I needed some space. A time to interact with 'normals'. Perhaps this happened because TP admin would not let me share with 'normals' here and relegated me to the bowels? So I now drive for 2 hours a day, time to listen to all the stuff I have downloaded about Enlightenment, Evolution, Change, and various methodologies and traditions.

* Bang! On day two of my teaching, I see the two companies are loving me. Perhaps an important piece of the jigsaw as I have been made feel like a persona non-grata by those in power here. So I get to be liked, valued and the wall of isolation shatters. But more importantly, and definitely a part of the jigsaw, was listening to Raphael Cushnir talk and his methods for moving through emotional barriers. For I came to realise that my current issue with dementia is the pain of losing Mum. It hurts again and again. I reverted to irritation and anger as a method of avoiding confronting my pain of loss and grief. But as I evolve thorough the Mindfulness course, I saw this Anger shield very clearly.

* Every thing suddenly fits from a Greater Plan perspective, even my frustrations with Mum's dog...... who I am now urgently befriending, as I left that poor guy as full-time animal carer out of my equation, and actually turned against him.

* Anger patterns and habits are surfacing as Mum triggers them 100 times a day. There for me to view at leisure. But the evolutionary growth is unavoidable. Just as my Small Self tries to hide and justify why I am angry, and there are so many opportunities just to shake my head and groan, my Greater Self 'knows' that this is a golden opportunity to work through every shred of anger I have even taken on in this life time, to be come an expert in anger, its sensations, where it is stored in the body, how it numbs and poisons the mind, and how it shuts off the spiritual inputs.

* Past Lives surface again and again. Usually ignored, but not to be ignored this time. One is loosening her grip, that staid Victorian widow, as we sell our historic home (and this time I know it will sell for that Ireland phase is over). Others are pushing their lessons harder and more stridently through dreams and lucid dreaming. Or random thoughts that filter up when I am in delta and theta brainwave states.

* Now, Craig Hamilton beckons. Evolutionary Pathway. Is it meant to be or not? Is this the next step on the journey?

* One thing I know for certain, I am here to Evolve. (As we all are). Darwin talks of survival of the fittest. The greatest misunderstanding is the general populace thinks this means dog eat cat, or conservatism rules OK, or status quo, or bully-boy stays on top. But this is not what Darwin meant, as those who have studied his work know. He meant that only those organisms who can adapt to challenging environments will survive. The fittest organisms are capable of change and adaptation. The others flee over the clifftop like lemmings. Follow the herd. Listen and obey the power-holders even when all the evidence points that their tactics are not delivering (think environment, nuclear proliferation, economic issues, cowardly politics, and the greedy grip that profit organisations have on what research is done into finding dementia cures).

Time to stop. I wonder if anyone will actually read this? If it benefits or interests anyone, let me know, otherwise I shall take this to be Greater Plan nudging me to new spaces with greater potential for growth. But I have loved my time here, and value my friends. So, I wait to see what evolves on the TP front.
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Registered User
Nov 28, 2012
Moved to Leicester
BE we read and learn from you! We are here! Maybe you should set up a facebook page for all your blogs so we can spread the word from there?

You're constant quest for insight helps keep me focused on the important things, the here and now, the insightfulness, the quest for the quiet mind, keep going.



Registered User
Aug 29, 2011
well you also have a reply from me..possibly not your first choice of replyee....anyhoooo. ...I like that you are accepting and working on your relationship with the dog...but then I am the kind of twit who feels more for an animal than most people!
I feel tired as I read through your learnings and searching.......on top of the extremely hard caring you do I take my hat off to you and wish you something special just for you alone....

Big Effort

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Jul 8, 2012
OMG Lovahug..... did you read this before I posted it? Weird, I just pushed the 'submit' command, and there was a reply already!!!!

Yes..... own blog.... hmmm..... I guess right now it would be a lot of Dark Night of the Soul data.

Thanks for the reply. I don't want to waste my time in the wrong place..... but if my meanderings help anyone then they serve a purpose. And boy, has Mum's descent brought on the Dark Night of the Soul phase.

Hugs back to you lovahug - good name that, and I hope you get a whole lot of them. xx
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Big Effort

Account Closed
Jul 8, 2012
What more feedback???

Hey Meme

This surprised me:
well you also have a reply from me..possibly not your first choice of replyee....anyhoooo
Why would I not like a reply from you? Have I offended you or done something unwittingly (yep I know I have big heavy feet!) to alienate you? Or are you a 'conservative', irritated by my pushing of boundaries and questioning of everything that the power-hoarders set down as 'rules'.
Now, Meme, one of my greatest skills is perspective taking..... seeing things from multiple perspectives...... and your views are welcome and I shall savour your wanting something special for me. So do I.

I WANT SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR ME. Thanks for articulating that, Meme. xx

Big Effort

Account Closed
Jul 8, 2012
Evolutionary Challange

"You’re an evolutionary. You know it because you spend a significant part of every day thinking about how to evolve yourself and how to make the world a better place."

And if you are interested, here's the link:

And here is a bit more advertising blurb for Craig Hamilton's course, that may guide you to knowing whether this is the right next step:

"You’ve realized that evolution needs more than just witnesses and bystanders. It needs us to wake up and step up—as conscious participants who have developed ourselves to be capable of serving and guiding the greatest collective awakening in our human history.
You know you’re called to be one of these people. What you need to know now is:
Where can you get the specific training you need in order to make this kind of radical evolutionary progress?
And, where can you find a supportive community of kindred spirits who share your passion to evolve not only a better self, but a better world and enlightened future?"