So broken and oh so grateful to you all

[amIinthewrong?]

Hello to everyone, this is my first post. I have been reading posts for a few weeks and have found them so validating of my experience with my life partner who was diagnosed with AZ a year and a half ago. I feel so broken by his abuse as many of you describe. Thank you so much for sharing your stories, otherwise I was starting to think that I am going insane. How do you cope? I was starting to drink too much wine, but that just made things worse. I am trying meditation and prayer. I am trying for ego dissolution but I fail too often. Thank you all for your stories. Sending much love to you all.

Thank you for being here, sending much love to you too, I am very sorry that you are going though so much, it is definitely not easy to cope at all and I am sure it takes every thing you’ve got to get up in a morning,and to carry on with all the obstacles that are thrown at you, you are more stronger and braver than I think you will ever know, you are amazing💐💐

 

[canary]

Hello @LeeLilyD and welcome from me too

You sound totally overwhelmed and I'm wondering how much help and hands-on support you are getting. This is not a road we can walk alone as you are right, it is hell.
Do you have professional carers coming in? Is it perhaps time for a care home? Would he go into respite to give you a break?

Where is the criticism coming from? If its coming from "helpful" friends and relatives then it can be simply ignored. So many people just criticise, but do not actually do anything to help.

If it is your husband criticising what you are doing then it is harder. We want to please the people we love and to hear everything we do thrown back at us is very hurtful. It is, unfortunately, part and parcel of dementia. We have all had to find some way to get through. If this is the problem then let us know and we can suggest some strategies.
xx

 

[Nannie Sandra]

Hello to everyone, this is my first post. I have been reading posts for a few weeks and have found them so validating of my experience with my life partner who was diagnosed with AZ a year and a half ago. I feel so broken by his abuse as many of you describe. Thank you so much for sharing your stories, otherwise I was starting to think that I am going insane. How do you cope? I was starting to drink too much wine, but that just made things worse. I am trying meditation and prayer. I am trying for ego dissolution but I fail too often. Thank you all for your stories. Sending much love to you all.

Good morning from a sunny but windy Derby!
I found this forum a couple of years back ,and advice from people in a similar situation has helped me understand that SO many people are going through similar scenarios.
I personally feel like I’m JUST about getting through each day atm,and although I used to be very much a’planner’in the past ,I have now learnt to simply approach life day to day (or hour to hour!)
My hubby is in mid stage Mixed Dementia,and is becoming extremely argumentative/childlike etc ,so (on the advice of this group members!) I simply rise above it and ignore him!Sounds harsh put into print ,but I have this method whereby I just say “Yes”to 99% of hubbys rants and block the words out!!(most DEFINITELY works for me !)
I absolutely feel loneliness is my biggest challenge,as many people have stepped away from us due to hubbys behaviour and I totally get it ,but it has meant me losing company/conversation and little trips out (not wanting to sound ‘poor me’ )
Without my children I would have most definitely sunk by now ,just seeing them or going to their houses for short visits keeps me sane!
Sending care and thoughts to you