Medically fit for discharge

[Pollywobble]

Thank you @canary and @DeeCee7. There's so much to fight for.

Things have got even worse this morning!! The hospital called me in to care for him in hospital at 8am because they are short staffed and he has turned aggressive towards the staff!!! It took 5 staff and he needed a security guard to get him back to bed. Yet the doctor has just been in to say he can go home when I can get some help. She also said I need to rest. How??

 

[Collywobbles]

Thank you @canary and @DeeCee7. There's so much to fight for.

Things have got even worse this morning!! The hospital called me in to care for him in hospital at 8am because they are short staffed and he has turned aggressive towards the staff!!! It took 5 staff and he needed a security guard to get him back to bed. Yet the doctor has just been in to say he can go home when I can get some help. She also said I need to rest. How??

I’m really sorry, but you have to refuse. Refuse to go in at all. Refuse to do anything for him. Refuse to visit. Refuse to have him home. They have enough proof that he’s a danger to others. You really must put your foot down and be firm with everyone. You cannot and will not cope with that level of violence and threat at home where you’re trapped with him and the only target.

Yes, it’s awful that over-worked and under-trained nurses and other staff are having to deal with him, but at this moment, their only priority is getting him out of the hospital. They don’t care about you, so you have to.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this,

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Thank you @canary and @DeeCee7. There's so much to fight for.

Things have got even worse this morning!! The hospital called me in to care for him in hospital at 8am because they are short staffed and he has turned aggressive towards the staff!!! It took 5 staff and he needed a security guard to get him back to bed. Yet the doctor has just been in to say he can go home when I can get some help. She also said I need to rest. How??

This is totally unacceptable. Say no and say it again, loudly. It's not your fault they are short staffed. It's ridiculous for them to suggest you can handle him when 5 of them + a security guard can't. If he is that aggressive then he needs to be sectioned - it is as simple as that.

I have experienced similar when my mum was in hospital following a head injury. They called me and expected me to 'do something' because mum was kicking off, screaming and shouting on the ward (she was very mobile at the time) and trying to smash her way through the glass doors with a chair. I've never been close to my mum and knew there was nothing I could have done but I was really angry to be asked and told them so. I pointed out that if they couldn't handle her, how could I? I said that they had Duty of Care not me and that I wasn't trained to deal with an aggressive, delerious person and they had no right to ask.

It didn't go down very well but I stuck to my guns. And of course, they dealt with the situation because that's their job not mine. The emotional blackmail they use in these situations is unconscionable.

 

[canary]

I am not sure about the “ least restrictive option” being a feadible option for SS to persue, as he is bedbound anyway.

The "least restrictive option" means not restricting them any more than is required to meet their needs. For some it may mean no more than cleaners going in to help them with housework, for others they may need carers going in or daycare, for others they cannot cope with anything less than a care home.

If someone needs a care home because carers going in cannot meet their needs, then a care home becomes the least restrictive option in their case, but SWs will say that they dont know that a care home is needed until they have tried 4 x carers a day and it has failed.

 

[canary]

Things have got even worse this morning!! The hospital called me in to care for him in hospital at 8am because they are short staffed and he has turned aggressive towards the staff!!! It took 5 staff and he needed a security guard to get him back to bed. Yet the doctor has just been in to say he can go home when I can get some help. She also said I need to rest. How??

Thats terrible. You cant have him back
Dig your heels in

 

[Pollywobble]

I’m really sorry, but you have to refuse. Refuse to go in at all. Refuse to do anything for him. Refuse to visit. Refuse to have him home. They have enough proof that he’s a danger to others. You really must put your foot down and be firm with everyone. You cannot and will not cope with that level of violence and threat at home where you’re trapped with him and the only target.

Yes, it’s awful that over-worked and under-trained nurses and other staff are having to deal with him, but at this moment, their only priority is getting him out of the hospital. They don’t care about you, so you have to.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this,

Thank you for your reply @Collywobbles . Gosh, that seems extreme. (although I see why you're saying it.) Its an awful situation to be in. The doctor admitted, this morning, that I need rest too, and that was about visiting everyday. I pointed out that's its a lot easier with him in hospital because I get a break overnight. They have a least been thoughtful and provided me with food and drink today.

Why is it all such a battle? I've been begging for help from the doctors, Memory Clinic, social Services for over 3 months now. Nothing is in place except bags and bags of Fortisip!!! Yet his assessment on leaving A&E for a ward cited all sorts wrong with him. The doctor says he's fit for discharge because they are not treating him for anything!

 

[DeeCee7]

The "least restrictive option" means not restricting them any more than is required to meet their needs. For some it may mean no more than cleaners going in to help them with housework, for others they may need carers going in or daycare, for others they cannot cope with anything less than a care home.

If someone needs a care home because carers going in cannot meet their needs, then a care home becomes the least restrictive option in their case, but SWs will say that they dont know that a care home is needed until they have tried 4 x carers a day and it has failed.

That makes perfect sense @canary thanks for clarifying .

 

[DeeCee7]

I would seize this morning’s episode as the perfect evidence that the situation is now totally impossible to entertain any thoughts of your PWD coming home.
My advice is not to go in now, sit it out at home and let them sort it out. As others have said, the hospital staff have other priorities and you aren’t even on the list. Have an answer ready to say when they phone, as they will.

 

[Pollywobble]

I dare not leave him. He is due for an endoscopy and so has been nil by mouth since midnight! I was with him yesterday and so know he hasn't eaten since 1pm ish yesterday and hasn't had a drink since 7pm last night. I've just told them I needed the toilet. I'm not allowed to use the ward ones so had to go to the restaurant. On my return he had taken his bedding off and arranged it on the windowsill so he could try and climb out of the window!!

When will this nightmare end? I know I should leave him, but he's going to injure himself.

 

[DeeCee7]

Oh dear,@Pollywobble, you have been there all day and only just managed to get out for a “ comfort stop”! Are the windows able to be opened? If he is bedbound how has he managed to get so far. His bed in the ward really should be positioned so that the staff can observe him more closely. Hopefully he will go down for the endoscopy soon, and you can slip away home.

 

[Melles Belles]

When my dad was in hospital and he kept climbing out of bed and falling, they looped the cable for an alarm from his bed frame through his pyjama sleeve so they knew when he tried to get out of bed during the night

 

[Pollywobble]

Believe it or not...I'm in the hospital bed with him!!!
He's now delirius, psychotic and dehydrated! The endoscopy is cancelled so he needs a drip.
I broke down in tears and got cross, and told them they were leaving him to die. Only then did they tell him the op was cancelled!!! But still no no food or drink!
Thank you to anyone who is still reading my nightmare.

 

[Izzy]

Oh @Pollywobble. You’re really going through the mill.

I’ve no words - just wishing you strength.

 

[canary]

Im so sorry
(((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

 

[Chizz]

Yes @Pollywobble still reading.
You need to still stick to the point that you cannot and will not be able to have your OH at home, and they must
- give him proper care, inc food and liquids
- get him to have the endoscopy that is required
- get him a care home placement for assessment in a place that can cope with his needs, or get him sectioned if appropriate that may require a DoL order.
Stay strong❤️

 

[Pollywobble]

Oh @Pollywobble. You’re really going through the mill.

I’ve no words - just wishing you strength.

Thank you SO much @Izzy . I have just been chucked out of the bed as its against rules (which I knew, but was beyond caring about!). So now I'm on a hospital chair with a coat over my legs.
At least I've got the whole sorry events documented, albeit unwittingly!

 

[Pollywobble]

Im so sorry
(((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

Thank you @canary , the hugs are very much appreciated.

 

[Pollywobble]

Yes @Pollywobble still reading.
You need to still stick to the point that you cannot and will not be able to have your OH at home, and they must
- give him proper care, inc food and liquids
- get him to have the endoscopy that is required
- get him a care home placement for assessment in a place that can cope with his needs, or get him sectioned if appropriate that may require a DoL order.
Stay strong❤️

Thank you @Chizz . I think this is strengthening my resolve. I've very rarely got cross in my life, but I'm glad I did! My poor man does NOT deserve this. Come to think of it, neither do I! The system seems broken!!!
What is a DoL please?

 

[sdmhred]

Oh @Pollywobble

This is totally unacceptable that you are having to do this when he is in hospital. Unfortunately they will come to rely on your good nature and further try to get him home.

Have you anyone who can help advocate for you? You need to go home to sleep. They need to get agency staff in to have him on one to one staffing…..which they can do…but you are saving their budget. Look after yourself….

 

[Sarasa]

So sorry to read this @Pollywobble . Keep
On pushing for an assessment bed, as that is what is obviously needed.
Thinking of you and giving you a virtual hug {{{@Pollywobble}}}