Maybe this is it.

[Slugsta]

We had a call from Mum's CH this morning to say that she is very poorly and perhaps we would like to visit. This is from the senior we spoke to when we were there yesterday and who knows that we usually go in next on Friday, so she clearly thought it was bad enough for us to go today!

Mum is very quiet, taking sips of fluids only and has a rattly cough. Although very withdrawn, she did manage a glimmer of a smile when she saw us.

This District Nurse discharged Mum from her care yesterday as the sores on her legs had healed (Mum scrapes her shins with the heel of her other foot). She was called back today as Mum now has a nasty area on an ankle, the DN couldn't believe the difference between Mum's condition yesterday and today!

The GP also looked in on Mum yesterday as he was seeing someone else in the CH. He said there was nothing new and to keep Mum as comfortable and happy as possible for as long as it takes. He was phoned this morning and has prescribed antibiotic syrup for the infection.

We chatted to the staff and discussed end of life drugs etc. I said that I want Mum to be given everything possible to keep her comfortable, including oramorph is needed - I have no fear of this drug, I take it myself anyway! Nothing to prolong life and certainly no hospital unless something arises that the CH cannot manage.

OH and I stayed for a couple of hours but have come home again. I don't think anything is going to happen today and my physical resources are limited. I have asked the CH to ring me again at any time of the day or night if they think I should be there. Otherwise we will go back tomorrow.

I know it sounds hard, but I also know that you guys will understand, I really hope this is the end, for everyone's sake

 

[Cat27]

I wish you strength Slugsta.

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hope you all find peace, you are not being hard, just want it as easy as possible for your Mum. Hugs

 

[Scouts girl]

I too hope things happen quickly and peacefully for you and your mum. I am taking each day as it comes at the moment and hope deep down that my mums struggle with this awful disease would end for her. Sending love and hugs to you xxx

 

[lemonjuice]

I know it sounds hard, but I also know that you guys will understand, I really hope this is the end, for everyone's sake

It doesn't sound harsh at all. I certainly used to pray 'Let all this suffering be over'. It's hard watching someone close to us 'not really living' as my mother would have said. She said that years ago when she was still talking and walking,so she would have been devastated to have seen herself over the past 3 years.

Whilst it may indeed be nearing the end, sounds as if it could be but I'm not a medical person it's surprising how long that can in fact take, so pace yourselves and rest when you can.

Sending you hugs and wishes for strength.

 

[Bunpoots]

You don't sound hard at all. When the time comes for my dad I'll be doing the same. Thinking of you.

 

[Amethyst59]

Thinking about you at this difficult time, @Slugsta I hope a peaceful end comes soon, for all your sakes x x

 

[mab]

Thinking of you and sending wishes for peace. Such a difficult wait. x

 

[2jays]

Thinking of you. Holding your hand tight. Squishy hug xxxx

 

[Amy in the US]

Slugsta, yes, we do understand.

Wishing you strength and kindness (from others towards you, and you towards yourself). For your mum, hoping for no pain, as much contentment as possible, and peace.

We are thinking of you.

 

[canary]

Thinking of you slugsta
xx

 

[Slugsta]

Thank you all for your support

I have just spoken to the CH and, from their experience, they don't think anything will happen overnight (I have promised I won't hold them to it!). So OH and I are going to try and get some sleep and will go back to the CH tomorrow - unless we hear from them first.

 

[Amethyst59]

Hope you get some sleep x x

 

[lemonjuice]

So OH and I are going to try and get some sleep and will go back to the CH tomorrow - unless we hear from them first.

Wise decision. I remember when m-I-l was dying in hospital, after a full afternoon and evening with her, around 9 o'clock I said to my husband. "Let's go home and get some rest" and come first thing in the morning. (We'd not slept much the previous evening/night, as we'd done 2 hr stints sitting with her at home the previous evening. )
We'd sent for son to tell her about her future grandson, so the name would go on. We'd said our goodbyes, prayed over her and sang to her as she was unconscious by that stage- though she did stir slightly on hearing about the great-grandson and so felt free to go.She did indeed last the night and we were able to get some rest.

Trust you do too.

 

[DMac]

Wishing you strength for whatever lies ahead, Slugsta. Take care of yourself. xx

 

[Spamar]

(((((Hugs)))))) Slugsta. Been there, done that, no complaints.

 

[HillyBilly]

@Slugsta your Mum will decide when her time is up. You may be there, you probably won't be there. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. The CH staff will take care of her, you know that. Hugs x

 

[canary]

HillyBilly is right - dont feel badly if you are not there when she passes.
I stayed with mum through 48 hrs of Chayne Stokes breathing, sleeping on the floor. Eventually I had to go and check on OH. Within 5 mins of me leaving she had passed. One of the carers said to me that she sees it all the time - the person doesnt want to pass away in front of family.

 

[Slugsta]

I was a nurse, I know how common it is for relatives to sit by a bedside for days on end only for the patient to slip away the moment their backs are turned! I know that Mum has to make this last journey on her own - but will be there to see her on her way if I can.

Hubby and I were 'on duty' the night MIL died at home. I suspected the end was near and my SIL was frightened of finding her, so we stayed overnight that night. I would have gone home in the morning and returned the following night, but there was no need. MIL slipped away within about half an hour of SIL going to bed.

 

[LadyA]

Thinking of you, Slugsta, and wishing you strength. xx