When my dear husband became ill with Alzheimer's Disease, I was slightly at an advantage having nursed patients with the disease.
I was confident and re-assuring, planned trips out, I drove everywhere with him, sometimes a couple of hundred miles to visit family. Obviously I carried out all the normal things that have to be done, administering meds, trips to the doctor, this nurse, that clinic, dealing with incontinence etc. In the end it was a fall that led to his demise, a fractured femur, although he survived for three months after, in the end, he gave up, refusing food first and then fluids. I was with him at the end, stroking his head, whilst telling him that I loved him.
I have always been confident, organizing everything that needed to be done. My OH was a police officer, so I got used to taking care of most things in our home, shift work is hard, and then I never knew if he would be home when he was due, as anything could and did happen. Our children are very supportive an have 'been there' for me, but they have their own lives and families.
Now I find that I'm losing that confidence that I always had, I am no longer confident to do the drive alone to see family, I am now afraid of falling myself. A few days ago I returned home and when I got to the small step to reach the front door I froze. I was shaking so much that I couldn't even make a call on my mobile. Thank goodness a neighbour helped me to the door, and insisted that I ring my G.P.
What is happening to me, I have never in my life been like this, and it's only since my OH died that it has started. Am I alone in experiencing this ?
I was confident and re-assuring, planned trips out, I drove everywhere with him, sometimes a couple of hundred miles to visit family. Obviously I carried out all the normal things that have to be done, administering meds, trips to the doctor, this nurse, that clinic, dealing with incontinence etc. In the end it was a fall that led to his demise, a fractured femur, although he survived for three months after, in the end, he gave up, refusing food first and then fluids. I was with him at the end, stroking his head, whilst telling him that I loved him.
I have always been confident, organizing everything that needed to be done. My OH was a police officer, so I got used to taking care of most things in our home, shift work is hard, and then I never knew if he would be home when he was due, as anything could and did happen. Our children are very supportive an have 'been there' for me, but they have their own lives and families.
Now I find that I'm losing that confidence that I always had, I am no longer confident to do the drive alone to see family, I am now afraid of falling myself. A few days ago I returned home and when I got to the small step to reach the front door I froze. I was shaking so much that I couldn't even make a call on my mobile. Thank goodness a neighbour helped me to the door, and insisted that I ring my G.P.
What is happening to me, I have never in my life been like this, and it's only since my OH died that it has started. Am I alone in experiencing this ?