hello
@carabin
a warm welcome from me too
your situation sounds intolerable
at least you do have a safe place, but you can't be there all that time ... everyone has a right to feel safe in their own home
I agree with Izzy, it's time to contact the police and inform them of both your present sitation and your past experiences. If you don't want to call 999, use 101 the non-emergency number ... or go in to your local station if that's possible.
the advisors on the Dementia Helpline will have useful ideas for you - if you can't talk on the phone, there is a live online chat option, follow the link given you
also contact one of the charities such as
https://www.refuge.org.uk
they will have stratefies for you
to have your husband's care needs assessed, contact your Local Authority Adult Services ... by email or letter if you can't phone ... let them know exactly what is happening and that you musn't be mentioed as being the one who contacted them .. make it clear that you fear for your safety and that your husband cannot look after himself, so his behaviour is putting you 'at risk of harm'
so your and your husband's GP knows how things are for each of you, either go have a chat with them .. tell your husband you are having a flu jab or some excuse that won't make him alarmed .. write in bullet points all the things your husband cannot do for himself, all his behaviours and the effects on you so that when you see the GP you have this info with you to give them ... if you can't see the GP, write a letter or email, keeping a copy ... add that your husband must not be told that you contacted the GP and ask for a referral to Social Services and for the GP to invite your husband in for a well-man check-up or his flu jab, or to make a house call
the GP may not discuss things with you due to patient confidentiality, but has to take note of your concerns
is there any possibility of watering down the alcohol your husband drinks, or replacing it for lower alcohol or non-alcoholic versions ... often the dementia means that the person doesn't realise the difference ... though, don't do this if it will cause problems for you
keep posting, hopefully it helps to have somewhere you can come to write all this out