1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. 99purdy

    99purdy Registered User

    Oct 31, 2014
    129
    Omg, my lovely stepdad, who looks much younger than his 77 years, is still in his nursing home. Staff are lovely and I mean lovely. He is in an EMI home and the abuse that these lovely staff receive every single minute of their working hour is unbelievable. I am lucky these are all staff who have worked there for a large number of years and they care for their patients. My stepdad lived in an immaculate house before his illness and I feel so guilty. Why, the careers are fantastic, they feed, clothe, and really care for their patients. He is very hard work and the staff deserve a medal, but it still destroys me every time I go to visit. My mum died early from cancer and I promised her I would look after my stepdad. He has been a big part of my family, Xmas, Easter spent at my home, we have been very close. I visit twice a week, an hours drive away, but my god I feel guilty. What a terrible illness this is. Was there today, as I am every Saturday, and I just feel awful. I work full time, I have to ask myself could I do more?? How does anybody else overcome the guilt? he is a well loved grandad.
     
  2. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    Hello purdy :)

    I am sorry that you are having these problems. It sounds to me as if you are doing all you can. Visiting twice a week, an hour away, is a lot when you work full time. And you have the added sadness of having lost your mum to cancer :(

    Is there anyone else who could visit as well? If that would help your stepdad?

    I'm sorry I don't have personal experience of your problem, as my mum still lives in her own home, but I do know that horrible feeling of guilt. I am always asking myself what more I can do.....and usually not coming up with much, but still feeling bad! :(

    I hope you have support and understanding from friends / family.

    Sending you (((hugs)))

    Lindy xx
     
  3. Sianey

    Sianey Registered User

    Mar 23, 2015
    103
    Yorkshire
    Your step dad

    Just wanted to say how sorry I am how you're feeling. I can't help I'm racked with guilt myself. More experienced members will have good advice.;)
     
  4. 99purdy

    99purdy Registered User

    Oct 31, 2014
    129
    Hi, yes my sister also visits regularly, and husband and brother in law plus kids when they are home from uni etc. I just feel so guilty if I don't go as I promised Mum I would look after him. Don't get me wrong I don't mind going but can not bring myself to miss one week. Sometimes I go and he is just asleep so he does not know if I have been!! What an awful life for him, after being so able and enjoying his retirement. Sorry I am just having a moan but sometimes it feels good to moan!!
     

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