Keeping emotions under control

[Jerac]

I expect I am just having a bad day but feel very low. Husband with alzhiemers does potter in garden but doing nothing worthwhile, but today took shears and cut down all my clematis plants which I have nurture for years growing to cover a rather ugly fence. I just burst into tears when I saw what he had done and then denied. I find it so hard to act in a positive way when he does these things. He thinks he is perfectly normal and i am the one to blame for everything. I expect hiding the shears along its so many other things will be the only answer. Sorry for the moan but family are all on a day out and don’t want to spoil their day. No one but people living with this can ever really know the constant trials.
love to you all trying to survive.

How heartbreaking for you! It’s trying to keep one step ahead all the time & trying to pick up on their obsessions before they run out of control! Big hugs!

 

[Sadlady]

Hi @Kelvin20, I can so relate to your experience. I can be priding myself on coping with everything that life throws at me, and then suddenly something happens that gets through my defences when other sometimes worse things have happened.
So last week the lid went missing from the Brita filter jug that live near the kitchen sink and filters our hard water. Predictably, OH said he hadn't moved it. Then about three days later, the lid turned up - in the kettle, which had been boiled with the lid in it. Result, one very misshapen plastic lid and the need to buy a new filter jug. It could have been even worse as the lid contains a lithium battery which had been boiled!
I'm afraid the denial sent me into meltdown, crying and shouting, which just leaves me feeling guilty and ashamed that I could lose it like that with someone who is so ill and just looks at me bewildered.
Incidentally, I have been hiding the TV remotes for a few months but that's not working any more, as OH has discovered all the hiding places. He may have Alzheimers, but he's not stupid. I now wear jeans with lots of pockets. Currently I'm carrying around two mobile phones(mine and his), scissors, a pen, two sets of keys (front and back), and two TV remotes. You are so right that only people living with this can really know how it is. I don't bother to tell family and friends what goes on as it just sounds as if I'm moaning all the time. It's a luxury to be able to have a rant on here!

Oh Diane-this is so familiar to me! Things go missing all the time and then turn up and yes, the denial. Then, what's worse, is when it turns out it's my mistake and then feel guilty after having a meltdown. The problem is that he is the 'prime suspect' because he has form' !!! The problem is that I panic about something important and the stress leads to the shouting.

 

[Lawson58]

My husband has a thing about the central heating, without the heating on at the moment the room temperature is 21 degrees, but because the radiators are cold he turns the thermostat up, I turn it back down, he says I should see the dr if I'm sweating there must be something wrong with me, me not him..

My husband is always complaining about the cold. Yes, it is our winter but he keeps turning up the thermostat and I keep bringing it down. Half the time he sits there in shirtsleeves and I keep on thinking of the heating bill. The funny part is that he is a Brit from the north and I am a Queenslander so it should be the other way round.

 

[Anthoula]

My husband is always complaining about the cold. Yes, it is our winter but he keeps turning up the thermostat and I keep bringing it down. Half the time he sits there in shirtsleeves and I keep on thinking of the heating bill. The funny part is that he is a Brit from the north and I am a Queenslander so it should be the other way round.

Yesterday I came home, after a couple of hours out, to discover (for the first time) the heating thermostat turned up. When I mentioned it to OH he said that I must have "knocked" against it earlier! Had to be my fault!!

 

[Lawson58]

Yesterday I came home, after a couple of hours out, to discover (for the first time) the heating thermostat turned up. When I mentioned it to OH he said that I must have "knocked" against it earlier! Had to be my fault!!

My husband is convinced that the back door locked itself accidentally. Funnily enough, he just happened to have his keys in his pocket (a rare occurrence) and was able to unlock the door and get back in the house. Now, he constantly reminds me never to go through the back door without my keys. Quite odd really because the door can only be locked using the key.