Just about sums it up !!!

[Lawson58]

And don't you just love the ones who think they are experts but have had no experience with the disease.

Recently someone said to me that when people have AD they don't really change, they just become more of who they really are!

I was speechless and after I had scraped my jaw off the floor, I managed to inform her quite calmly that this idea seemed to be contrary to the experience of many carers.

 

[Summerheather]

I love that, makes me mad as well.

I also had a visitor's husband say to my mother 'Happy Christmas' several times - it was June, I was mad as hell.

 

[zaygezunt]

"Ah bless" has to be the worst for me because it's the sort of thing people say when a child puts his fingers in the jam and implies that if mum hadn't been so cute and careless she would never have got the disease.
Apart from close friends, the best response has been from our cat and dog. Lily (cat) now spends all the time she can with mum and Harry (pic used as my ativan or whatever it's called ... wasn't ativan a drug?) has become protective and started to stand between mum and other people. He's always been a big wuss but it's his way of saying "I'm here for you."
Sometimes words are superfluous.

 

[Ann Mac]

I think I'd be pretty taken aback too, with something that blunt!

The cliche I really hate is when people express the opinion that Mil having dementia must mean that she is 'happy in her own little world'

Happy? Oh - I wish! Where on earth do these daft conceptions come from?

 

[Anniebell]

I had to pick something up from a parent of my child's friend and she invited me in for a cup of tea. She asked how Mum was, I told her that Mum had had dementia for many years only to have her say 'so it's time she died then'.

I was so angry I will never know how I didn't hit her.

WHAT I don't know how you didn't hit her too !!!!!!! x

 

[Cat27]

I had to pick something up from a parent of my child's friend and she invited me in for a cup of tea. She asked how Mum was, I told her that Mum had had dementia for many years only to have her say 'so it's time she died then'.

I was so angry I will never know how I didn't hit her.

I cannot comprehend how someone could be so rude & insensitive.

 

[Anniebell]

I think what was said to Anniebell by the neighbour was a bit blunt but what do you say when someone gives you some news like that out of the blue? Most people just blurt out the first thought that come into their head. I normally go for the "well she had some test and scans and it's turned out..." it give people a clue to expect bad news. Either way up Anniebell you'll encounter a lot more odd reactions sometimes from the strangest of people.
K

Thanks Kevini from reading some of these posts your right !.I'll have to toughen up me thinks.My neighbour knew mum had being having memory test etc like you said some people just blurt out the first thing that comes into their head take care Annie x

 

[Anniebell]

I think I'd be pretty taken aback too, with something that blunt!

The cliche I really hate is when people express the opinion that Mil having dementia must mean that she is 'happy in her own little world'

Happy? Oh - I wish! Where on earth do these daft conceptions come from?

Hi Ann I think a lot of it is to do with ignorance if you havnt had dementia barge into your life you don't have a clue what it's all about and these off the cuff comments are because they don't know any better. Take care hope your mum is feeling much better today take care Annie x

 

[Anniebell]

"Ah bless" has to be the worst for me because it's the sort of thing people say when a child puts his fingers in the jam and implies that if mum hadn't been so cute and careless she would never have got the disease.
Apart from close friends, the best response has been from our cat and dog. Lily (cat) now spends all the time she can with mum and Harry (pic used as my ativan or whatever it's called ... wasn't ativan a drug?) has become protective and started to stand between mum and other people. He's always been a big wuss but it's his way of saying "I'm here for you."
Sometimes words are superfluous.

It's amazing how they know my mums neighbours dog used to trot passed mums but since she's been diagnosed he pulls his owner up mums path everyday just to say hello and mum waits for him now xxx

 

[Anniebell]

I think quite often people feel they should say something and what comes out can be blunt or clichéd. I find that some days I can take it on board better than other times.

One thing really disappoints me is that "friends" whom we have known for a lifetime do not visit - although they all said they would pop in.

Me too my dads sister used to ring mum every week after dad died and now she doesn't bother when I last spoke to her she said I havnt rang because she might not know who I am ? ( she was diagnosed dec 14 ) And I don't want to upset her I told her give mum a call she would be pleased to hear from you and she will know who you are. STILL waiting for the call !!! X

 

[Bree]

Annibelle

I'm referring to any post which takes offence, when people are sympathising in their own way. Not to the posts where people have made offensive remarks.

As for understanding, my first experiences of Dementia when I was nursing, and at a youngish age, had to understand why my colleague was hit over the head with a pop bottle, or why a patient drank his own urine. Next I had to understand why my lovely dad was reduced to a shaking wreck who didn't know my mother, and cried for his own. Then I had to understand why my strong handsome husband can't remember things, changed his persona, gets angry and swears, has annoying habits.

Yes I understand, and I hope more tolerant because of it. Some posters may not like my opinion, but I do have the right to express it.