Jojack

[Jojack]

Mhusband and I are currently caring for my husbands father, in our home. We have been his care givers for 2 years as he was still living in his home. He moved into our home in February as the dementia progressed. He still knows us, but does not recognize family members he doesn’t see often. He does not remember most current conversations and has more and more problems processing a conversation. He seems to be having difficulty understanding what we are talking about. Over the past two weeks he his balance has gotten very shaken and has fallen four time. He continues to insist on working around the yard. Says he has nothing in life, with no purpose and has nothing to do. We try and involve him in our activities and interest him in puzzles, games or safer activities. He does not accept suggestions or advice from his son. He seems resentful for some reason. My husband is always kind and sensitive to his feeling but I’ve noticed he is stepping back and looking to me for any sugestions guidance or concerns we need to make or do. We want to keep him in our home as long as we are able and would like any sugestions from others who have faced this with their loved ones. Sugestions how to interest him in safe activities, how to talk to him about letting us join him as he’s walking. Walking with a cane and how to take away the keys to the car without conflict. So far he is not showing agitation with me, but he is showing frustration and some agitation with my husband. Any sugestions or advice you can offer would be appreciated.

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome @Jojack.

It becomes more and more difficult to engage a person with dementia as their illness progresses. Sometimes it`s best simply to sympathise and not try too hard.

This link might help.

Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired

The following piece was posted a while ago on DSF and made a big impression on me. It is something I have referred to time after time and tried hard to follow. We have many new members who may not have seen it before. Yesterday I posted it on another Thread but thought it might be helpful if...

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

I`m afraid there is no way I have heard for taking car keys away without conflict. It seems to be the biggest hurdle most carers face. Saying this, there is no room for negotiation. It`s something that has to be done, however painful it is.

 

[Gosling]

Hello and welcome from me also @Jojack to this friendly and and supportive forum. There is a wealth of shared experience of dementia to be found here, so I am glad you have found us.

I am sorry to read about your father in law. It's tough being a caregiver for a loved one for sure. You have received sound advice already from @Grannie G . It certainly does become more challenging to interact as the disease progresses. And, you probably already know this, but you can never win and argument - just somehow find a way of going along with what he is saying.
Do have a good look around the forums and ask any particular questions you may like to. People here really do want to help, and you always find understanding too. Take care.