1. MillyP

    MillyP Registered User

    Jan 5, 2007
    108
    London
    #1 MillyP, Apr 6, 2007
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2007
    It's all kicked off today...this morning my Dad went shopping with my Mum and brother, getting the Easter weekend supplies in as we always do and Dad started to play up...accusing my Mum of using his other wifes money etc etc...my brother escorted him out of the store and they brought him home for him to continue his awful rant at my Mum....saying he wanted to kill her and that she murdered his proper wife and he wanted to know where her body was....he started to gather any keys he could find and proceeded to try and get out....he wanted to call the police to have her removed and he was getting totally out of hand so I had to call the social services who told me that they needed the police to help but that the police need a few days notice to turn up :eek: ....WHAT! I told her in no uncertain terms that my Dad was in danger of hurting someone and something needed to be done right now....ten minutes later there was a knock at the door and it was the police and an ambulance who strangely enough, my Dad was pleased to see and he sat and told them about his missing wife etc....they persuaded him to go with the ambulance people to the hospital for a check up...which is where he is right now being assessed again by a psychiatrist...what a day...he is refusing to see any of us, his family and has chosen to only have my boyfriend with him. He told my boyfriend to not drink any tea we make as we might poison him....I really don't know what to do next...I'm hoping the hospital will try and keep him in to at least stabilise his condition...if that's possible but I fear he will be sent home and it will all start again tomorrow. :(...What an Easter..:(
     
  2. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened. I think that if the hospital try to discharge him and you are not happy that he is as stable as he can be, then you are going to have to refuse to have him home - easier said than done, I know. There is no point in having him home if you have to telephone for help again immediately, or if everyone is living on a knife edge waiting for something to happen.

    It seems amazing that social services would tell you that the police need a few days notice to turn up! How ridiculous! Well done to you for standing your ground with them.

    Take care and keep us posted.

    Brenda
     
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    Dear Milly,

    I think Brenda's said everything that can be said. It's a very sad situation for you all, but he is absolutely in the best place for you all at the moment. You will have to be strong if they try to release him: place a great deal of emphasis on the fact that has threatened to kill your mother. They seem to be more worried about harm to another person than they are to self-harm for some reason. As for social services: give me a break! Several days for an appointment with the police? Do not try to tell me that these people don't try to fob relatives off becasue I won't believe it. Just imagine the headlines if you had been fobbed off and something had happened.

    Be strong and take care

    Jennifer
     
  4. MillyP

    MillyP Registered User

    Jan 5, 2007
    108
    London
    #4 MillyP, Apr 6, 2007
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2007
    Thanks everyone. The Policemen that came round even said to us that in their opinion, social services and the National Health service don't give a damn about patients, mental or otherwise, they just want to pass people from one department to another. They said that they get regular calls from the hospitals asking them to find mental patients that have walked out without anyone knowing...sure makes us feel safe in our beds.. NOT! Just had a call from my boyfriend who says the psychiatrist wants to interview him first alone and then talk to my Dad...I hope they see how bad he is and do the right thing:(
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Milly

    What a terrible day for you. You and your mum must be devastated. I do hope they keep your dad in hospital over the weekend and assess him properly. You can't go on like this.

    Love and hugs,

    Hazel
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,878
    Kent
    Hi Milly, well it has been coming hasn`t it. It`s so sad that things have to come to such a head before you can get the help you need. I really do feel for you, you must all be in pieces.

    Well your dad`s safe now and you`ll all get a bit of respite. I hope they don`t try to discharge him too soon, but it sounds as if you`ll know exactly what to do if that should happen.

    Take care of yourself and have a bit of breathing space.
     
  7. MillyP

    MillyP Registered User

    Jan 5, 2007
    108
    London
    #7 MillyP, Apr 7, 2007
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2007
    Hi everyone, just thought I'd pop in early as I might not get the chance today, what with everything that's been going on lol...I can still laugh which is good:) Anyway here's an update of what happened.....I sat around until 5pm yesterday waiting for more news but heard nothing concrete about what was going to happen to my Dad...so I decided to go alone to the hospital and find both my Dad and my boyfriend...found them sitting in the Mental health reception waiting for Dad to be admitted...Dad seemed happy that he was staying and said he wanted to get better...asked if I had found his "wife number one", the good one not the imposter and I said I had...he was pleased. Dad was spoken to by the psychiatrist for two hours which is a alot longer than the CPN ever did...they also interviewed my boyfriend...anyway I was asked to also speak to the psychiatrist and he said to me that although my Dad did indeed have Dementia, it wasn't as bad as most, he could recall alot of news stuff and times and dates etc which was good...he said that he is convinced my Dad is suffering from Capgras Syndrome...see link http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=793#more-793 you will understand more when you read the information.....well, when I read it I couldn't believe how accurate it all was and lots of things clicked into place....the psychiatrist said that he couldn't give any guarantees and that not all people, especially elderly people could be helped but he was going to try....he didn't want to section him as he felt it was not needed at this stage but said if he became a danger then they would have to, which I accept. Anyway, Dad settled in and seems content that everything is being done for him...Mum has to stay away from seeing him for the moment until his anger subsides and he is more settled, which is ok, she just wants him less aggressive....we can all deal with the Dementia side of things but the aggression and violence is another thing lol....saw him twice yesterday and took him his favourite sandwich...made a mistake of saying that Mum had made it which stopped him in his tracks and he asked, which one made it "number one or number two", because he didn't want to be poisoned...me and my big mouth lol....he was hungry so he ate it without too much encouragement. Anyway my boyfriend and I will visit him today...he can't go walkabout as they lock them in, that's a relief to know. When I have more info I will post and let you all know...might help someone going through the same...the psychiatrist reckons this Syndrome is more common then is first thought and that he has come accross it alot recently in the elderly. Milly xx
     
  8. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Thanks for the update Milly - sounds as though dad is getting good care, and now lets hope that your family can get the support that it needs.
    Love Helen
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,878
    Kent
    Hi Milly, Thanks for the update.

    It looks as if your dad has a psychiatrist who`s on the ball. The link on Capgras Syndrome was very interesting.

    Well I hope things continue to move so positively. I`m sure you`re feeling a lot better about your dad now.

    Keep in touch, and all the best.
     
  10. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Milly

    Thanks for that link, I hadn't heard of Capgras. It's amazing how many variants of dementia there are. I wonder if we'll ever truly understand the human brain and its complexities.

    It's good that your dad's psychiatrist was able to diagnose it so quickly, he's obviously on the ball. And if he hopes to treat it, that's even better news.

    You must be feeling so much more positive this Easter.

    Love,
     
  12. MillyP

    MillyP Registered User

    Jan 5, 2007
    108
    London
    Thanks for the links. Day two and I've just had a phone call from one of the nurses and he said that my Dad managed to get the window open and escape early this morning...OMG. He wants to go home and is refusing to eat or shower, saying he wants to go home to shower and he's fed up of the place. Spoken to my Dad on the phone and reassured him that I will be coming up to see him as soon as I can. Will post later when I have more info....
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,878
    Kent
    Oh Dear! I don`t know what to say, Milly. Everyone is really having their work cut out looking after your dad. He is one determined man.

    I hope he doesn`t give you too hard a time when you visit, but at least you have support now and, even though he won`t believe it, so has he.

    Take care
     
  14. MillyP

    MillyP Registered User

    Jan 5, 2007
    108
    London
    Just got back from spending most of the day with him...cut his hair and made him shower as he said he wouldn't unless he was allowed to go home...my boyfriend should have got a job in the caring profession, he has such a way with him that he can persuade even the most stubborn of people to do as he wants lol....anyway the nurse told us that no one has ever worked out how to get the windows to open fully, my Dad is the first lol...he even took all his luggage with him and closed the window behind himself so as they wouldn't suspect anything...which they didn't until he was half a mile away. He was brought back but made such a fuss they gave him some sort of calmer which made him sleep and he was still a bit sleepy when we got there. He says he's going to do the same thing tonight but the nurses have better ideas...my poor Dad, I just want him managable and to be able to come home. He's going to see the Doctor again on Tuesday and we'll take it from there...what an Easter eh.
     
  15. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Milly

    What a weekend you've had!

    It's amazing your dad managed to get that window open, and get out taking his luggage with him. Shows great determination!

    I suppose the treatment won't start until after the holiday :( .

    I hope you don't have any more disturbance tonight. I expet they'll keep a better eye on him.

    Love,
     
  16. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    I wouldn't be too certain that such escapes don't occur more frequently than the hospital is prepapred to let on: didn't the police tell you they often get calls about escaped patients?

    Anyway, at least things are moving - not very far, and not without bumps, but at least it sounds as if some things are getting sorted out.

    Jennifer
     
  17. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    theme tune from 'Great Escape' springs to mind instantly!
     
  18. MillyP

    MillyP Registered User

    Jan 5, 2007
    108
    London
    #18 MillyP, Apr 17, 2007
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2007
    Hi everyone, just thought I'd update you all.....Dad was moved to another hospital last Thursday so his original CPN could continue with his care...can't say I was happy about moving him when he's so confused but hey, what do my opinions count....the move went ok, I went with him and he settled in fine. They put him on Amisulpride tablets 100mg twice a day. Been with him everyday and today the CPN called us all in to have a meeting....she thinks Dad is stable and is sending him home on Friday but wants him back on Tuesday....she says anything might set him off again but they won't know unless they try...he seems relaxed albeit confused but I guess the drugs have alot to do with it. They are going to send him home with some Diazepam, so if he does have an episode like he did before we can sedate him. He seems happy to come home and says he's ok about going back...can't say I'm looking forward to it but it's now or never I suppose...will let you know how it goes.:)
     
  19. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    I hope it all goes well Milly.

    Take care
    Brenda
     
  20. MillyP

    MillyP Registered User

    Jan 5, 2007
    108
    London
    #20 MillyP, May 16, 2007
    Last edited: May 16, 2007
    Ok an update for anyone that's following this thread....After having Dad home for the weekend and everything went ok, it was suggested that he go home and see how everything went. He was "ok" for the first two weeks...a bit zombie like but I expect that was the drugs...at week three things started to change...I noticed Dad starting to put dirty laundry into his coat pockets and asked him what he was doing...he said "they're dirty and I'm going to take them home to wash at my other house" :eek: OMG:eek: here we go again, I thought....I wanted to ring the CPN and talk to her about it but Mum said no..."he might just be having an off day" she said, lets not rush him:( .....Saturday came and went..each day something more happened and by Thursday night he was kicking off again big time...looked like the drugs weren't keeping him calm anymore:( ....he kept saying he wanted to go and find his other house and family and so I lied to him....said we'd go and have a look in the car and drove him straight to the hospital he was in before...had him admitted as an emergency and he's there now....escaped through the fire exit last night but caught in the hospital grounds....he keeps ringing us up saying he wants to go home:( ....I'm angry with my mum, I have to admit... if she had let me ring when I wanted to, this might not have had to happen to Dad...I said all along, "if there's any signs of Dad changing, we need to speak to the CPN"...she agreed but when push came to shove, she didn't want me to:( ...anyway now he's playing up in the hospital she wants to go and get him and bring him home:eek: OMG what is she thinking of...we can't control him and she is his target when he loses it....I'm just hoping the hospital don't allow her to remove him...he's so not a well man and right now a hospital is where he should be...the nurses even admitted that maybe he was sent home too early...I'm starting to wonder if a home environment is ever going to be somewhere my Dad will feel happy in ever again...beam me up scotty:(
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.