• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

It would be great if carers changed dad’s clothes.

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
Thats not good, if dad is happy to change his clothes then unless not on their care plan they shouldn’t have problem doing it. Your dads care agency seem a bit awkward to deal with could you go to SS instead to find out exactly what they are supplying? When SS talked about getting carer visits for mum they said would come for so long to do set tasks and if found it didn’t take them that long they would reduce time. Maybe getting dressed is no longer on your dads plan or if they are running out of time its got left, could you contact SS and ask what they have put on care plan for carers and ask for time to be allowed to dress dad.
Hi. Dad is privately funding and I have LPOA. He has 45 mins with 2 carers. On the care plan assessment it is 45 mins. So not sure what is going on . Apart from being very apathetic (dad that is)I think they are awkward with me as I was a carer in the community doing the same job. Dad cannot walk without a gutter frame so would never be able to get his clothes .
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
546
It was my day yesterday to see dad. He had the same clothes on that I left for them Thursday night to put on Friday morning. I saw him Tuesday so that is 5 days with the same clothes.. It is not good enough..They had yoghurt down them.

Last week he was again in dirty clothes as it had a massive coffee stain on it.
Things are changing for dad. He doesn’t know it but I’m getting a little team together so he will have the carers in less. Hopefully it will work out.
Walking him yesterday you could see he was struggling.He was also confused and confrontational with me yesterday.
Apparently I had said about his cousin. No such thing . All of his cousins are dead.Then it was “Your mother coming up this week on Thursday “? I hadn’t said she was. I had stayed at mum’s overnight and said that Shauna(daughter) was coming Thursday as we are hoping to take him out.
He was adamant that I had said mum was coming.They have been divorced since 1988 and have got along better now but not enough to see each other every week.
He went to bed at 17.30 again. His choice.He is “fed up “going to bed early but then says he is “bored”. So he may as well go. You cannot win with him.
It is a struggle getting him into bed sometimes. He is not able to walk up to the top of the bed as he has built in wardrobes. So he goes as far as he can to turn but then the walker gets stuck on the edge of the wardrobe. Then dad is trying to turn to sit on the edge of the bed but you have to guide his hips . Then after he is on the bed he has to shuffle up to the top which takes forever.The gutter frame then goes into the dining room. Managed it last night but not every night. I have said to him we need to organise his bedroom as it is getting difficult as we can only use one side of the bed.. The default “no” was the reply. No surprise there. He isn’t going to be walking much longer. He only does about 12 feet that’s his limit.
Fun day tomorrow!
I am going to make some presumptions, so forgive me when they are wrong.?
Is he in a bungalow and do you wish to keep him at home as long as possible?
So if so to the above then I would be putting in quite a bit of money.
Care home fees are £1200 so mentally I save that money every week?
I would pay for the bedroom to be refigured.
I would have a hospital bed in place, with all the tipping moving features .
With the correct training you can move a 20 stone man up the bed on your own, with no threat to your back with one of those beds.
I would have a Sara steady.

When mum had carers I left the piles of clean clothing out along her dresser. I had a big hamper with a laminate saying dirty laundry.

1600243381252.jpeg
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
It must be really upsetting seeing your dad in stained clothing @TNJJ It would upset me.

If your dad has two carers to get him up and dressed with 45 minutes to do it, surely as his clothes are removed they could be whipped away and a clean set got ready.
It is. Dad has always been fussy with his appearance. One of the funniest things I found out in the last 14 days was when I had a telephone from SS to do his yearly assessment. She had phoned dad and the care company. No problems apparently. She asked if dad had any cognitive problems to the care company.”No “they replied. But he does. VD diagnosed 2016/17. He even has the mentally impaired certificate signed so he doesn’t pay poll tax. So the lady on the phone was not impressed that they had said “no”. I told her about when they overdosed him and when they missed the cancer on his leg. It seems observation is not their strong point.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
I am going to make some presumptions, so forgive me when they are wrong.?
Is he in a bungalow and do you wish to keep him at home as long as possible?
So if so to the above then I would be putting in quite a bit of money.
Care home fees are £1200 so mentally I save that money every week?
I would pay for the bedroom to be refigured.
I would have a hospital bed in place, with all the tipping moving features .
With the correct training you can move a 20 stone man up the bed on your own, with no threat to your back with one of those beds.
I would have a Sara steady.

When mum had carers I left the piles of clean clothing out along her dresser. I had a big hamper with a laminate saying dirty laundry.

View attachment 63199
Hi. Dad already has a hospital bed in place alongside the Sara Steady in the picture. The only bits of equipment missing is a hoist and a stand aid. The things that have to be changed are his bedroom because we can only go in one side but he has built in furniture everywhere. You cannot move his hospital bed as it’s jammed in. I need to make the dining room the bedroom as this would enable a carer to get both sides. Softly softly catchy monkey so they say..
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
@TNJJ ”four full days”. are you sure that’s ok for you with mum as well?
It’s great if you can do it, just avoid doing too much to make yourself ill.
3 full days and a friend is going to give him lunch and sit with him. I will come and put him to bed. At the moment mum is “ok”. My back up plan is my daughter who is a carer. She is helping me with dad.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,636
Yorkshire
Hi. Dad is privately funding and I have LPOA. He has 45 mins with 2 carers. On the care plan assessment it is 45 mins. So not sure what is going on . Apart from being very apathetic (dad that is)I think they are awkward with me as I was a carer in the community doing the same job. Dad cannot walk without a gutter frame so would never be able to get his clothes .
Sorry thought when you said community care you meant by SS, if your dads paying then they should be doing whatever has been agreed between you. They really do sound awkward to deal with
When you and daughter take over 4 days at least you can get dad changed those days and leave an outfit out the night before carers come so he will be changed more regularly. Its not really best solution though is it it should be on the care plan and done by carers. They don't sound the best at organisation or observation :(
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
Sorry thought when you said community care you meant by SS, if your dads paying then they should be doing whatever has been agreed between you. They really do sound awkward to deal with
When you and daughter take over 4 days at least you can get dad changed those days and leave an outfit out the night before carers come so he will be changed more regularly. Its not really best solution though is it it should be on the care plan and done by carers. They don't sound the best at organisation or observation :(
No it isn’t but having put up with this for over 2 years no more I have lost the will.So it is either care home or me with a small team.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
546
Hi. Dad already has a hospital bed in place alongside the Sara Steady in the picture. The only bits of equipment missing is a hoist and a stand aid. The things that have to be changed are his bedroom because we can only go in one side but he has built in furniture everywhere. You cannot move his hospital bed as it’s jammed in. I need to make the dining room the bedroom as this would enable a carer to get both sides. Softly softly catchy monkey so they say..
Yes the dining room would be perfect.
That way his clothes could be kept in labeled boxes, making it so easy for the carers!
The other thing would be to change the care company. But I would find that a bit scary!
I wonder if anyone else has done that?
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
Yes the dining room would be perfect.
That way his clothes could be kept in labeled boxes, making it so easy for the carers!
The other thing would be to change the care company. But I would find that a bit scary!
I wonder if anyone else has done that?
The only reason I haven’t changed care company as dad has “capacity “. Very fluctuating though. That’s also the reason I haven’t changed the dining room into the bedroom. Dad has “some insight “ into his illness. But it is getting less every day
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
546
The only reason I haven’t changed care company as dad has “capacity “. Very fluctuating though. That’s also the reason I haven’t changed the dining room into the bedroom. Dad has “some insight “ into his illness. But it is getting less every day
poor you!
That stage is simply exhausting!
Keep taking the vitamins !

Would it be worth getting the bedroom decorated ?
Which would mean he had to move into the dining room on a Tempory basis?

Mind you knowing my mum she would be determined to move back, however many weeks I conspired to make the decorating take?
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
poor you!
That stage is simply exhausting!
Keep taking the vitamins !

Would it be worth getting the bedroom decorated ?
Which would mean he had to move into the dining room on a Tempory basis?

Mind you knowing my mum she would be determined to move back, however many weeks I conspired to make the decorating take?
Yep! Very similar to your mum.