It’s horrible

[Jg23]

My dad has been suffering with potential dementia symptoms for over 6 years. These were originally put down to other things, especially due to his age (he is still only 61 now).

We still don’t have a diagnosis, and going through GP’s and that route just wasn’t getting us anywhere so I took him to A&E and he is now on a dementia ward for assessment under section 2. It’s horrible as something needed to happen, he wasn’t doing well at home (although sometimes he was ok) but often he thought there were other people in the house, my mum was an imposter and not the real wife, and he was constantly at work but not being paid for it. But now I see him on this ward, and he is not on their level and does not want to be there. He wants to talk, but none of them on their can talk, staff do thier bit although some better than others, and seemingly the weekend staff are nowhere near as good which has made it difficult as he isn’t being as engaged, which is leading to him getting annoyed and wanting out of there.

Sometimes I think he doesn’t get what is going on, and others I think he does.
I just feel very helpless.

Everyone is so sad with this, he was
Originally sent to a functional older adults ward as he had no diagnosis, but after one night they decided he wasn’t suitable there so moved to organic, but he doesn’t really feel suitable on there either. I don’t feel he belongs anywhere at the min and it’s so hard.

I want him out, but also know we need answers and help. Are we ever even likely to have him out again? and if so how long does this really take, do they usually use the full 28 days?

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Jg23 and welcome to Dementia Support Forum. I am sorry to hear about your dad. This is not a situation that I have any experience of but other members may be able to answer your questions. In saying that you want him out, do you have a plan in place to meet his needs? If he wasn't doing well at home and your mum was under stress, going back there may not be the best for either of them. These are key points to be addressed in order to put a care plan together.

 

[LynneMcV]

Hello @Jg23 and welcome to the forum.

I am sorry for the situation your family is facing - it must be very stressful for all concerned.

My late husband was first sectioned when he was 62 - although in his case, he did already have a diagnosis of dementia in place from the age of 58 - though his symptoms were showing many years before that.

I remember being horrified at the time because, like you, I felt he was nowhere near the same level as other patients on the dementia ward at that time - and my gut reaction was that he shouldn't be there - though I knew help was desperately needed.

In the end it turned out to be the best move for him. I made it clear from the start that my aim was to have him back home with me and the family if at all possible and everyone worked towards that goal.

He was actually kept in for two months while they sorted out the best medications for him - and then he returned home to us, once everyone agreed that it was the best place for him and that the right level of support was in place.

it doesn't always work out that way, sometimes no amount of medication tweaking will help the situation. That is what happened two years later when my husband's dementia was much more advanced and he was sectioned again. After five months it was agreed that nothing could improve his situation enough to enable his return home.

Every case is different - and it can be a lengthy process before a decision is made. I just wanted to let you know that - and to also show that sometimes a person does return home after being sectioned and sometimes it is in their best interests not to do so.

I truly hope that, with the time and space needed to fully assess your dad, the best diagnosis and treatment can be found.

 

[Jg23]

Thanks for both replies. I guess I don’t really know what I mean, I do kind of know we need the help and answers, but it just feels so cruel leaving him in there!

Guess we just need to buckle up and ride it out as best we can as it’s likely to be a while