• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Introduction

banger696

Registered User
Sep 17, 2015
225
North East
Plans have changed. Rather than go into a psychiatric bed they are starting mum on some new meds and I had to negotiate a couple of more days in the current ward to see if she tolerates the new meds. She has had her review and has been stable for a couple of days so they are planning on sending her home. Ward manager needs to confirm the extra couple of days with his managers and I really need to talk to the social worker about help at home as she has been deemed without mental capacity. Anyone know what help may be available at home?
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,174
Yorkshire
Apologies, I don't have time to reply at length so will be blunt
SS have the duty of care - your mother should not be sent home until a full care assessment is done and a care package agreed - if you feel whatever is offered is not sufficient REFUSE to have her home, you cannot take care of her on your own - she is a vulnerable adult at risk, they cannot just send her home as if she had a stitch in a tiny cut and expect her to cope - esp if they have deemed she lacks capacity
You should at least be offered a re-ablement package of 4 carer visits a day plus visits from OT etc
Personally, from what you have written about her night-time behaviour, I would be looking for a care home placement, as others have suggested, too
Best wishes
 

banger696

Registered User
Sep 17, 2015
225
North East
Many thanks for the info but our ss man has supposedly assessed her and suggested equipment and OT visit. Today she had a mental health assessment with psychiatrist when all this was decided even the ward manager wasnt informed, I assume the SS amp was there.
 

Louby65

Registered User
Mar 26, 2014
620
Scotland
Hi tim . A Tia is a transient ischaemic attack . It's a mini stroke but most people recover quickly and without the lasting effect a stroke does .
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,940
South coast
When someone is going to be discharged from hospital SS are have to sort out care at home too as well as things like equipment and this is supposed to be organised before discharge. Do not let them send her home without extra care.
What you will probably get is 4 visits a day from carers as this is usually the maximum that you can get at home.
 

wilf

Registered User
Mar 19, 2014
30
Many thanks for the info but our ss man has supposedly assessed her and suggested equipment and OT visit. Today she had a mental health assessment with psychiatrist when all this was decided even the ward manager wasnt informed, I assume the SS amp was there.
Banger I have quickly read through your posts and you are understandably very anxious. Firstly do not get too upset as you will act irrationally. Secondly contact your closest family member immediately and I mean now, ask you cousin to come to stay with you asap. In light of your Mums current mental state the social worker should not have assessed without you being present. It is obvious that you would not be able to keep your Mum safe from harm and your attempts to do so may cause harm to you. This means that without the necessary care package being put in place at your home any hospital discharge would be an "unsafe discharge" and this is illeagal. It is unlikely they will keep her in hospital until a care package is in place. You should ask for intermediate care in a care home or nursing home for a couple of weeks. If you get fobbed off contact "p.a.l.s." at the hosputal, the ward sister will give you their number. If still no joy you have the right to ask your social workers supervisor to assess the situation. Your immediate priority is to make sure that your Mum does not come home straight away as believe me you will be phoning for an ambulance or the police during the first night. Phone that family member now, dont wait for morning. Let us know what tomorrow brings and I will try to help you through. Dont panic, Wilf.
 

banger696

Registered User
Sep 17, 2015
225
North East
Thanks wilf I have notified my cousin and she is to let me know when train times allow her to come up.

To be honest SS seem to be doing everything to get out of their responsibilities. When the CPNs first spoke to the out of hours SS amp the insisted she go to hospital for UTI tests. The first SS assessment was with me as mum wasnt particularly cooperative but the one today I wasnt involved in nor was the ward manager.

Im not sure who is at fault here but from what I am being told on here everyone seems to be passing the buck and no one seems to want to care for my mother other than me.

The nurses on the heart ward have been great doing my mums hair and keeping her occupied but the ward manager just wants to free his bed!

PS the Psychiatrist has prescribed 25mg of anisulpride 3 times a day.
 
Last edited:

banger696

Registered User
Sep 17, 2015
225
North East
Just spoke to the out of hours SW and he assures me that I wont have to cope on my own with mum now that she is in the system. He told me that there should be a discharge meeting with me and a SW present and a care package should be arranged.
 

hariyaksh

Registered User
Aug 26, 2015
26
hello, and welcome to talking point. I can only say that i feel sorry about the phase you are going through at this moment. You have come to the best place there is for talking about alzheimers. I have a grandmother who suffers from dementia. Although her reactions are not as extreme as your mother's, i still face a challenge to handle her almost everyday. This forum did help me quite a lot i would say.
My regards for your mother. i hope her and your condition gets better.
 

banger696

Registered User
Sep 17, 2015
225
North East
Have to attend a discharge meeting tomorrow afternoon and my cousin will be on the train tomorrow morning.

As far as I can tell mum wont be offered carers as she is deemed self caring but will receive a daily CPN visit and some support from Age UK.

I rang the ward to see how she is getting on and the ward manager knew nothing about the discharge meeting on his ward, he also said she seems quite calm on the new medication but I dont trust him as he is just trying to free her bed.

The hospital CPN also rang me today and we had a long conversation about what support I can get at home, will have to see what happens at the meeting tomorrow.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,940
South coast
Um, I thought they had decided that your mum has lost capacity, or have I got that wrong?
How on earth can they think that your mum is going to be self caring?!!

I think you need to spend today making a list of all the things that your mum needs you to do for her - and that includes reminding her to do things, so that you can show that she is not self-caring.
Dont let them fob you off, insist that she needs help.
 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,761
South coast of England
Don't let them send mum home without an adequate care package already in place. Don't be fobbed off with promised of what ''will' happen in future cos you will be up the proverbial creek if it doesn't materialise!
 

banger696

Registered User
Sep 17, 2015
225
North East
What a farce this is turning into. I got a call telling me there would be a discharge meeting tomorrow at 2.30 on the ward and no one knows anything about it. The ward manager has rang round and he cant find anyone that knows.

He recommends that I have a care package in place before mum comes home and I agree with him but so far no one from Social Services has contacted me.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,174
Yorkshire
I too don't see how she can be "deemed without mental capacity" and be "self-caring".
Having read your new thread you have evidence that she cannot be cared for at home by you alone!!
I'm sorry to say that you are going to have to be an iron man to stand up for your mum. It's ludicrous to suggest she can go home!
Canary's idea of a list is a good one. Write down EVERYTHING your mum can no longer do for herself on her own. Make copies and hand them to her GP, the ward manager and absolutely everyone who is remotely involved. Insist to each that you will not accept your mum can be cared for at home until all her needs are addressed. Refuse to take on the care for her yourself.
If we all seem harsh it's because we sadly have some idea of how this scenario may play out - and your poor mum deserves all the support she can get. And so do you.
 

banger696

Registered User
Sep 17, 2015
225
North East
I had a lengthy convo with a CPN and OT today and insisted mum cannot manage things as she used to. The OT didnt even visit just quizzed me over the phone at least I have the ward manager/nurse on my side.
 

wilf

Registered User
Mar 19, 2014
30
What a farce this is turning into. I got a call telling me there would be a discharge meeting tomorrow at 2.30 on the ward and no one knows anything about it. The ward manager has rang round and he cant find anyone that knows.

He recommends that I have a care package in place before mum comes home and I agree with him but so far no one from Social Services has contacted me.
I echo shedrech and canarys comments that you must refuse to have Mum home until care package is in place. The anti psychotic drug seems to have calmed Mum down so she is probably "medically fit for discharge" which means she doesnt need to be in hospital. Make a list of what Mum cannot do safely on her own and anything on that list that you cannot do for Mum needs to be done by a carer. Decide for her if she is physically able to safely perform daily tasks such as toileting, showering / washing, dressing, cooking / eating / drinking etc. This is the foudation of the care package. Your discharge meeting tomorrow doesnt mean that Mum is being discharged tomorrow, it is to exchange views from those present to determine when and where to that Mum will be safely discharged from hospital. Social services have the most power and the emergancy on call social worker you spoke to last night has already told you that a care package needs putting in place. Therefore you need to suggest a transfer to an intermediate facility for a week or so until the care package is in place. Keep smiling, you were franticaly worried about Mum two days ago but she is now settled and you are not losing her. Good luck and keep us all posted so we can help you.
 

banger696

Registered User
Sep 17, 2015
225
North East
I echo shedrech and canarys comments that you must refuse to have Mum home until care package is in place. The anti psychotic drug seems to have calmed Mum down so she is probably "medically fit for discharge" which means she doesnt need to be in hospital. Make a list of what Mum cannot do safely on her own and anything on that list that you cannot do for Mum needs to be done by a carer. Decide for her if she is physically able to safely perform daily tasks such as toileting, showering / washing, dressing, cooking / eating / drinking etc. This is the foudation of the care package. Your discharge meeting tomorrow doesnt mean that Mum is being discharged tomorrow, it is to exchange views from those present to determine when and where to that Mum will be safely discharged from hospital. Social services have the most power and the emergancy on call social worker you spoke to last night has already told you that a care package needs putting in place. Therefore you need to suggest a transfer to an intermediate facility for a week or so until the care package is in place. Keep smiling, you were franticaly worried about Mum two days ago but she is now settled and you are not losing her. Good luck and keep us all posted so we can help you.
Hi Wilf, she was not settled tonight when I visited her in fact she was going to sue me for putting her in hospital and anyone that crossed her path.

The OT quizzed me about cooking and as far as I know she cannot cook or produce hot drinks so I do this for her as for personal care she has in the past (before hospital) washed and dressed herself and had the odd bath. I cant do her personal care for her she would not accept this nor would I be comfortable with it but while in hospital despite me taking clothes for her she has not changed out of her nightie and the nurses would know if she is washing and showering or not. I tried to give the OT the best view of mums capabilities and wandering during the night might be a problem to wich she offered me a bed alarm to let me know when mum goes AWOL for more than 15 minutes. She toilets ok but is a bit wobbly on her legs and could do with some rails which the OT is looking into as well as the alarms and door sensors.

I still dont understand what care package is available as SS dont seem willing to discuss but I have the ward manager on my side as he agrees as she hasnt got capacity she should have some sort of home care.

See what tomorrow brings
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,174
Yorkshire
I need to go to bed - but just want to say be careful of your own assessment of your mum's abilities.
Think as you would if filling in the AA forms - that is, consider your mum on her WORST day and her night. Sad to say she will not improve and you need to remember that. I am not saying lie or make anything up - but be brutally honest with yourself.

Dad had a re-ablement team after his spell in hospital - the whole point was to help him stay out of hospital and in his home safely
so he had a carer visit in the morning to get him up, washed/showered, dressed and breakfasted, and meds
a visit at lunch to give him lunch and meds
a tea-time visit to give him a meal (M&S ready meal) and meds
and a bed-time visit to see him to the toilet, brush teeth etc, get into pjs, take meds and settle to bed.
He had OT visit to look at the house to organise handrails, sensors, carephone and tracker.
That was for 6 weeks, was free and started immediately. The team were great and it taught me a lot just watching them deal with dad. Through this we also later gained day care.
After that care was to be paid for but because it was through SS and as we accepted one of their recommended agencies the charge was at LA rates even though dad was self-funding.
I am most concerned for you during the nights - it's one thing having sensors and such but if your mum does not know you and reacts badly, what's to help you then?
Sorry, now not thinking straight - good night all
 

banger696

Registered User
Sep 17, 2015
225
North East
I used to put a chair against the door for that prospect, I will see if SS will organise the re-ablement package and insist she doesnt come home unless that is in place.