I haven't posted for quite a while but I really couldn't imagine how my life has changed within the last year. I've gone from someone that was anxious,depressed, at the end of my tether and really didn't know what I was going to do next. Mum was always a very difficult person to get on with and having Alzheimers just exacerbated those issues even more. Feeling absolutely dreadful I had to battle with social services to try and get some respite for her and me, numerous falls caused many broken bones and stays in hospital for Mum and then I had to battle in the "best interests" meeting which really ended up as their best interests so they sent her home when they knew she was bedridden and very difficult and challenging to deal with. Eventually the social worker left and a new social worker replaced her and what a difference. Mum was in respite at a Nursing Home because four Care Homes has rejected her (that proved my theory straight away that she was worse than they would admit). The social worker visited her and told me she was far too bad to actually be allowed to come home again and that she was going to send Mum's case to the committee for consideration for permanent placement. Six weeks later Mum was placed permanently in the Nursing Home and I feel blessed that it's such a lovely nursing home I couldn't have wished for better for my mum. Mum celebrated her 90th birthday last week. The home made her a birthday cake with candles to blow out, and all the staff came in and sang Happy Birthday to her, and she got lots of kisses! She had lots of cards and presents from people at the nursing home with streamers over her bed and balloons. It was lovely, even though Mum forgot it was her birthday within 2 minutes of her blowing the candles out!
I have now moved. I'm in a lovely sheltered property with lovely neighbours, a good social life and a lovely garden I can look after. I'm off my anti-depressants and I go and visit Mum at the nursing home every other day. I am now really content and mum is really happy in the nursing home. I'm only telling you all this because this time last year I felt so alone and unhappy as a lone carer and I would have been quite happy to have just disappeared off the face of the Earth. So this is just to tell you that things do and can improve. After caring for Mum for four years I can now have quality time with her, we even laugh together now. This is instead of me being burnt out, having food thrown at me, tantrums, hysterics and aggression from Mum. I thought I'd feel so guilty when I could no longer cope and she had to go into a Home, but I now realise its been the best thing for her and me. She's like a different person, so happy and she has company 24\7. I couldn't have wished for a nicer Nursing Home with really caring staff. So to all you lovely carers out there, there is light at the end of that long dark tunnel. The secret is when you've reached rock bottom you must deal with it and look after yourself and not feel guilty about the person your caring for going into a care home. Unfortunately I learnt all this the hard way. Hugs to all, Sue xx
I have now moved. I'm in a lovely sheltered property with lovely neighbours, a good social life and a lovely garden I can look after. I'm off my anti-depressants and I go and visit Mum at the nursing home every other day. I am now really content and mum is really happy in the nursing home. I'm only telling you all this because this time last year I felt so alone and unhappy as a lone carer and I would have been quite happy to have just disappeared off the face of the Earth. So this is just to tell you that things do and can improve. After caring for Mum for four years I can now have quality time with her, we even laugh together now. This is instead of me being burnt out, having food thrown at me, tantrums, hysterics and aggression from Mum. I thought I'd feel so guilty when I could no longer cope and she had to go into a Home, but I now realise its been the best thing for her and me. She's like a different person, so happy and she has company 24\7. I couldn't have wished for a nicer Nursing Home with really caring staff. So to all you lovely carers out there, there is light at the end of that long dark tunnel. The secret is when you've reached rock bottom you must deal with it and look after yourself and not feel guilty about the person your caring for going into a care home. Unfortunately I learnt all this the hard way. Hugs to all, Sue xx