1. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Hi gill . I've not been on the forum for a while so I'm a bit behind with everyone's news. How are you my dear friend ? I hope things are a bit better for you ? Have you any further tests done ? . I do hope your feeling better ? Things with me reasonably ok , just getting on with things. My mum wasn't so well but peeking up s bit now . Take care and hope to hear from you soon . Lou xx
     
  2. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Hi rob , how are you and C ? Hope both of you are well and no more angina attacks for C . Is C still attending her day club . The day centre my mum goes to is having to reduce their hours , so I'm attending a meeting in next couple of weeks to discuss it . I'm dreading it as it's another worry onntoo of everything . Why do they make it so hard to keep people with dementia at home being looked after by their family . I don't know what I will do if it happens . My sister wants to put my mum in a care home but I will do my best to keep her at home . Hope you and C have a good weekend . Take care , Lou .
     
  3. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,802
    Male
    Bristol
    Morning @Louby65 , sorry to hear your mum's day centre is reducing hours. That's no help. Are you in a town or city with alternative centres, or is that not possible? Can you reduce your hours or anything to help. Would carers at home or a befriending service to get her out to activities help, that has allowed C to get to singing for the brain one day a week while I do a voluntary job.
    Too many questions I know you will be working on already. Good luck Lou, hope the meeting has some positives for you.

    I emailed Gill, but she hasn't replied.

    If you're reading @exhausted 2015, we are still thinking of you and hope all is as well as can be.
     
  4. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Thank you, Lou.
    My Aunt was my second mum. We were so close. Mum is ok. Getting more confused but still in her own home. PM me any time, my friend. I really appreciate your friendship xxx
     
  5. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
     
  6. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Hello rob and Lou...I'm really sorry that I've dropped out for a while...and rob I'm sorry but I didn't get around to reading your email...please forgive me...how are you and c doing...are you both keeping OK ?...is c still going to day care on a Thursday... and is she still enjoying singing for the brain ?
    I've got so much to catch up on
    Lou...I've just read your post...I hope your mum is getting better....have you been having a bit of a difficult time...because have I read that your sister wants your mum to go into care...oh gosh my friend I know how you must be feeling about that....how are you doing ? is everything still as hectic at work
    I'm feeling so guilty that I've not been on to see how you and rob are doing
    things are pretty much the same with me...still struggling with dad not being here...still have the same problems with my son and my spinal problems have got a lot worse including loosing my balance and hardly being able to use my right arm...I had the painful injections which didn't do a thing...so neurosurgeon has requested an other scan to both my neck and lower back...so waiting for the appointment to come through... I'm ra king up a fare few scans this year...starting with my appendix back in January...anymore and I will be lighting up like a glowworm.. Ha ! Ha!
    Going to go now..my arms had enough of writing now
    Sorry again my friends for my absence... I've been thinking of you daily
    Take care of yourselves...sending you hugs ((( ))) xxxx
     
  7. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,802
    Male
    Bristol
    So sorry you are still in the wars Gill. With all these scans and injections plus losing your balance you are doing enough without worrying about emails. That sounds a bit worrying, will keep everything crossed for your next scans and hope something can be done. I suppose it's too serious for a chiroprator or an osteopath, but just thought either may give an alternative.

    We are still pottering along, just wanting to get Christmas out the way and look forward to spring. Christel has had her ups and downs, but still going to her "old people":D club and singing most weeks.
     
  8. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Hello all. So sorry I haven't been around much. Everything got very hectic!
    Hope you are all ok xxx
     
  9. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,802
    Male
    Bristol
    Hullo Jenny @jknight, how are you? Hope you, your mum, daughter and grand daughter are doing well.
    We are doing ok, I have somehow got C listening to Kris Kristofferson and Willie Nelson. We are off to a jazz concert run by music for memories, so a very musical week. There will be time for a carers group lunch on Tuesday and a memory café on Wednesday. Busy here too.
    All the best for a good Christmas.
     
  10. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Hello Rob,
    So glad you & C are ok!
    All the music sounds great!
    Mum deterorating slowly but steadily. Hubby & I are managing.
    Ruby is 8 months old & a total delight!
    Hope you have a lovely Christmas.
    Much love, Jenny xxx
     
  11. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    HELLO ROB,LOU AND JENNY....JUST POPPED ON TO WISH YOU ALL A PEACEFUL CHRISTMAS WITH YOUR LOVED ONES....I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU.....TAKE CARE MY FRIENDS....XXXXXX
     
  12. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,802
    Male
    Bristol
    Lovely to hear from you Gill.
    Hope you have a peaceful Christmas. Look after yourself old friend. :)
     
  13. t0ria

    t0ria Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    19
    Hello I need to rant and swear. Sorry in advance:

    I'm not a ****ing carer. I shouldn't have to wash and dress my dad. I'm so angry. He has carers who come in every morning and afternoon but he insisted that he didn't want them coming over during Christmas and that I was to stay. I've been here since the 22nd and am leaving on the 28th.
    He's getting angry that I'm not entertaining him enough- I'm just starting to recover from a 2 year spell of clinical depression and sometimes I find it hard enough even to speak, let alone find constant sources of entertainment. He can't read or write, we can't play games, he doesn't want to watch TV, I don't know what to do. I struggle to make enough conversation to keep him amused.
    He just wanted to go to a walk and to the pub so we did, despite him being (almost) incontinent. He had an accident in the toilet at the pub so when we got back I had to wash and change him again and do yet more laundry.
    I know a lot of people on here feel guilty that they don't do enough, but I feel guilty that I really don't want to do it. I just can't handle it. I've not been well, I have a job I hate and am using my holiday for staying here and I've not had a single thank you (or Christmas present, as I have to do his shopping.)
    Sorry. I'm really upset.
     
  14. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
     
  15. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    This is what this forum is for! Letting off steam in a non judgmental environment. Caring is tough and, in my experience, it's the little things that make you scream!
    You are not a bad person. Many people on this forum, in my opinion, are saints. I am most definitely not! I know I wouldn't be able to look after mum, if she lived with me, so I have made peace with my decision to keep her in her own home for as long as possible and, should the day come, find her the best home possible.
    You have the additional burden of a job you hate and having been ill, with a serious condition.
    The bottom line is, you need to arrange the care dad NEEDS not what he wants.
    Have you had an assessment from Social Services? Is dad getting all the help he is entitled to?
    Come here and let off steam as often as you like. There is always someone listening xxx
     
  16. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,802
    Male
    Bristol
    Oh @t0ria, you are entitled to come on an rant and swear away. I needed counselling to deal with depression myself and some of that was related to family issues. You have done well to take on responsibility for your father over Christmas, if he cancelled carers and he has incontinence problems that is hard work.
    Not sure what to say to help, have you tried talking it through with the Dementia Helpline on
    0300 222 11 22.
     
  17. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,802
    Male
    Bristol
    Evening @jknight. How are you, did you have a good Chrismas?
     
  18. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Hello my dear friends!
    Hope you & your loved ones had a good Christmas!
    I was struck down with norovirus late on Saturday, so Christmas has been a bit odd here! Christmas Eve in bed. Christmas day, OH looked after mum, got her lunch and took her to daughter 2 for the afternoon. I ate soup & watched TV! Entertained mum & daughter 2 (& family) today. Still not eating much. This may be the first Christmas I have lost weight.
    All good wishes for 2018
    Jenny xxx
     
  19. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Norovirus, Rob!
    How was Christmas for you & C? xxx
     
  20. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,802
    Male
    Bristol
    Sorry you have not been well Jenny. It was good your family rallied round though.
    We've had an interesting Chrstmas. Took C to her favourite Chinese restaurant, but she now knows she has dementia and is convinced t means she will lose her marbles and it is the beginning of the end, so she told the restaurant owner she may forget him next time but she still loves him. She's known him for 30 years. The meal was good and she had been on good form until then. Now she was happy with yesterday's lamb served with potato pancakes and enjoyed the Sound of Music until she got terribly concerned about the war and guilty about Germany's part. Sorry, it's been eventful. :eek::)

    Hope you're better soon.
     

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