In despair!

[LadyA]

Well, so far, he's up looking a bit brighter this morning. In fact, he's been up so often, I lost count! But now he's dressed, he so far doesn't look quite as vacant and out of it as he has done. He's already dozing in the chair though and still coughing. I think he slept easier last night because I propped him on several pillows & cushions (I have a proper backrest for him, but he won't have that!) so he wasn't lying down completely. So, he wasn't actually choking last night.

 

[Saffie]

I do know here that they cannot consider putting a charge on the house while it is the permanent residence of the spouse or other dependant.

Truth, just as a reference and to make Lady A feel better about it, I think that even here, that is only if they are over 60 and Lady A is a sprightly youngster! However, that apart, I think both she and you will manage fine.

I have been living on half my husband's teacher's pension - not a full one as he retired at 55 due to ill health - plus my little bit of state pension from my husband's contributions and a minute teacher's pension of my own, all of which amount to about the amount Lady A has to live on. Just a little less and it would have been worth my while refusing the half pension and applying for pension credit or whatever it is now called instead. In fact, with council tax being nil with that, I would probably have been better off! It will be roughly what I will have to live on now that I am widowed too.

However, it's ok and I've managed by dipping into some savings for bigger expenses. My needs are few and I can't say that I've had to scrimp even though our house is reasonably big and detatched and so utility bills are high.
I'm sure that, with your daughter's example, Lady A, you'll do ok, unless of course you are a real Lady and live in a castle, which, of course might be the case.
In which case, I'd open it to the public and charge a hefty entrance fee!

I'm sorry that your William is now unwell. It never stops does it, just after respite too.
I hope the ABs and steroids have caught it and things improve quickly. Shame the home didn't pick up on it sooner. x

 

[LadyA]

No castle, sadly! Small 1980's bungalow, with huge over grown gardens! Over half an acre. But some day I will have time!

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[Saffie]

No castle, sadly! Small 1980's bungalow, with huge over grown gardens! Over half an acre.!

Ah - but that's just the lodge!

.

 

[Walker]

Still waiting for funding approval for William to go to a nursing home. I was told it was being processed urgently, normally takes 8 to 12. weeks. It's been around 8 weeks since I applied. I just rang, and was told it's now taking about 12 to 14 weeks, and our application hasn't even reached the waiting list yet! No such thing apparently as "urgent "! Meanwhile, we are back to aggressively resisting being changed. He was covered in s**t when I got home from lunch, and still Resisted being changed. Fed up of life. Completely.

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I agree - no one cares for the carers and the funding is appalling. I am so sorry and wish I could physically help you but my husband too has Alzheimer's and I feel I will die well before him. Probably from exhaustion! What about The Mental Health Act? Could you speak to your doctor about that. I don't know much about it but you could make inquiries. Good luck is about all I can say

 

[LadyA]

Talked to William's GP. He said he'd be concerned about the phlegm, so he phoned a prescription for another antibiotic to the chemist. Augmentin Duo this time, the pediatric liquid, as Wm won't take tablets. William hasn't been quite as tired today. Think I'm going to phone the nursing home and tell them though. It should have been spotted that he was becoming ill.

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[LadyA]

Another thing I've noticed the last few days. William's mouth is now hanging open constantly. As if he's forgotten how to close it. It adds to the "lights left on, nobody home" look. Is this just a sign of another step down the path?

 

[WIFE]

Lady A - s sorry to hear William has been so ill. Very worrying for you. Don't steroids enhance appetite - that might be why he was still interested in food.

Hope he continues to improve - and you get some rest yourself!

 

[Saffie]

Another thing I've noticed the last few days. William's mouth is now hanging open constantly

Perhaps it's more to do with his breathing, Lady A.

 

[garnuft]

Perhaps it's more to do with his breathing, Lady A.

Or even just weariness, I caught myself doing it on the sofa last night and I hadn't even dozed off, I went to swallow and my tongue was like a sheet of sandpaper, don't know how long I'd sat there with me chin lolling...very attractive.

Watch out for the skitters with augmentin duo LadyA, mam used to get the runs, hope they do the trick and make William feel a bit more comfortable. x

 

[LadyA]

Or even just weariness, I caught myself doing it on the sofa last night and I hadn't even dozed off, I went to swallow and my tongue was like a sheet of sandpaper, don't know how long I'd sat there with me chin lolling...very attractive.

Watch out for the skitters with augmentin duo LadyA, mam used to get the runs, hope they do the trick and make William feel a bit more comfortable. x

I know! I had it once myself, took the first tablet & got such bad diarrhoea I had to phone a friend from the bathroom to bring me something to stop it so I could go back to the doctor to get it changed!

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[LadyA]

Hmm. Two things. Actually three. On the - well, I'd be afraid to say "up" side, because who knows. The PHN phoned me this morning - I had left a message of tears and despair last week when I got that letter saying that yes, William had been approved for funding for a nursing home place, but that no funding was available, and they would contact me again when funding became available - possibly in approx. eight weeks or so. She said that she had phoned "them" to know what the hell that was about and was told that "Oh, that's just a standard letter that's sent out to everyone. She should'nt worry about that. It shouldn't take that long." Apparently, he has now gone on to "the National List" for funding allocation, and Central Office now work their way through that - so she said she was told he could have funding in the next three or four weeks - maybe up to six weeks.

Second thing. William is now a little better, I think - not coughing as much today. But still extremely weak and tired. However, he has taken to napping through the 24 hours - maybe two hours asleep and an hour or two awake. Day and night. I am beyond exhausted. I feel like the undead!

Third thing. William, with this chest infection, had taken to (gross & Yuk alert - avert eyes if of a delicate disposition!) coughing up this horrible thick phlegm, and spitting it just anywhere - I have found it on various floors, tables, chairs, cushions, in shoes (his, thankfully!) - quantities of the stuff, I have had to clean up. I have been meticulous about "infection control" - in fact, I have dermatitis on my hands from washing them so often, I feel like Howard Hughes! However, I am harbouring suspicions that I have not been meticulous enough, as today I've been feeling a bit chesty myself, and have started to cough too. Could I have caught his chest infection? Or is it just a coincidence? I always assumed that the infections he gets regularly are particular to him and his dementia - not infectious. I'm assuming that being younger and healthy, I can get over it? I hate anti biotics!

 

[Jinx]

LadyA if your cough gets any worse you should consult the doctor. I don't have any medical training but I guess if the infection was originally caused by a virus then you could potentially catch the virus. It may not become an infection with you as you are probably not so susceptible. But don't take any chances you need all your health and strength at the moment. x


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[truth24]

Hi LadyA. Sorry you are having such a rough time, particularly with feeling so rotten yourself. We have a bronchial virus going around here (so the GPs are calling it). Very bad cough, lots of horrid phlegm and very debilitating. We have both had it. Lasts about 3 weeks. Could be a similar thing. Hope you feel better soon. In all ways. Verity

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