Of course it is. I would hate to have been in this position too. Unfortunately, if you have been seen as being the problem you have to let them see that it isnt you. Stepping back will show them the true picture quicker. If you are plugging the gaps your mum s problems are not seen and you are still being blamed, so the situation goes on for longer. You have to shine a cruel spotlight on your mums problems so that they are seen. Its a question of having to be cruel to be kind.
Let everyone know that you would like to help, but as your mum is considered to have capacity, you are not allowed to. Be prepared to pick up the pieces quickly when it all goes pear shaped.
The worst bit of it is we did step back & she’s ended up in hospital for 5 weeks - but at least now she has a care package to ensure she’s eating & drink & taking her meds am/ lunch/ tea
It’s not fair on the poor Carers walking in blind to the situation
But I can do no more now do yes
The proverbial will hit the fan !