I need advice

[Miffymiff]

My 90 old Dad has Alzhemers/mixed dementia and is now in a nursing home, he's becoming increasingly aggressive and shouts at the staff, they keep telling me how bad he's been but I feel is out of my control. Help?

 

[canary]

Hello @Miffymiff and welcome to the forum

Have you talked to the nursing home manager about your dads aggression?
The staff may just feel that they are keeping you informed. On the other hand, it may be that the home is beginning to feel that they cannot meet his needs. If so, they may decide that he needs to be in a different home. Speak to the manager and ask how they can manage your dad. It may be simple to sort out
xx

 

[Kevinl]

Hello and welcome from me, I think canary has summed it all up, the other patients in a nursing home do have to be considered too.
if his needs exceed what the home can do then you might need to plan ahead.
If you feel what they're telling you and you feel that is an instruction then ok might just be they're keeping you informed of the situation.
Your phrase not mine " increasing aggressive" the staff may not mind but other visitors may have complained, just to so hard to know what's for the best, sorry. K

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

My 90 old Dad has Alzhemers/mixed dementia and is now in a nursing home, he's becoming increasingly aggressive and shouts at the staff, they keep telling me how bad he's been but I feel is out of my control. Help?

Not all nursing homes are equipped to deal with aggression but they don't tell you this when you accept a bed.

You are in no way to blame for this however I think it's time for you to have a frank discussion with the care home manager.

 

[SAP]

Yes, just talk with the manager. You are not personally responsible for your dad’s behaviour but it can feel that way with this kind of feedback. This is not uncommon with dementia so the manager should either be able to put your mind at rest or have a discussion with you about an action plan e.g. getting the GP involved to rule out infection, get the mental health services involved to look an meds etc.