so sad you feel this way @maryjoan it is added stress on top of the caring. ..i feel for you and your situation...I have my ex husband living with me for past 6 years..divorced 20+ years! I am sole carer .....I wonder how that would be assessed!! I am more than willing to go to my limit, and I cope because have set my limits, and made them known to family. Once that's reached they know I am done. But the more I read that others are going through the harder it seems it might be when the time comes. But the difference being I will walk away. It must be so hard for those of you caring for your partner/parent who cant walk away. Obviously i would prefer the family take over once my limit is reached. But if they wont then I am gone and they will have to sort it out. I will of course do all I can to make sure things are sorted before it reaches me walking out. but I know I wont do this indefinitely. I can totally relate to you not wanting to do it any longer. This amounts to breakdown of care and you shouldn't have to feel like you have to go until you break. Its all so unfair, there is no easy answer. Anything I could suggest would seem trivial and not enough..... at this time you need out. talk to all that will listen....and get out, if only for hours/days to start with and build on that. there is only so much we can take. we are only human.............best wishes and hope you find some space.