1. twinklestar

    twinklestar Registered User

    Sep 14, 2014
    84
    As always with the good folks of Talking Point I feel sure that someone will understand what I am about to say.

    It is 18 months since our wonderful mum passed away. I miss her everyday and I am sure I always will. I am not sad. I think about her everyday and I smile. I feel sure that is what she would want.

    In many practical ways it is time to move on but I feel stuck. Since mum died there have been so many changes at work and I know there are going to be more. The other change is that I am not longer with the boyfriend who helped me through mum's illness and passing. He has moved on and has a new partner.

    Everywhere I turn I feel there is uncertainty. Advice please.
     
  2. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,509
    Ireland
    @twinklestar
    It sounds like you have had quite a lot to deal with since/including your mum's death. It would be great if life stopped throwing curve-balls at us while we're grieving, so that we could focus, but I don't think that's going to happen! Eighteen months isn't very long, when your mum has been there your whole life, after all.

    Have you thought about having a few sessions with a Counsellor, who could help you to work your way through this sticky patch, and to start looking forward again?
     
  3. margherita

    margherita Registered User

    May 30, 2017
    2,416
    Female
    Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
    Your mum's death seems to have been a watershed in your life.
    Would it be possible to change the adjective "uncertain" for "new"?
     
  4. twinklestar

    twinklestar Registered User

    Sep 14, 2014
    84

    Thank you so much for your reply.

    The reason I posted this thread is that my friends on Talking Point have been there, seen it and done it. Having been a carer for someone you love who has dementia is hard. When they are no longer with it is still hard, at least for a while. Being in that hard place does not mean that you are not going to be exposed to the other difficulties that life throws at you and I have had a few in the last 18 months.

    I have had some time away from work this week and clarified my thoughts on that particular issue. Now comes the hard work - the doing not just saying. As far as my ex-partner is concerned that is also sorted - I have made peace with myself and have moved on.

    It is time to devote time to myself, to be a bit selfish. Sometimes to move you don't necessarily have to do, you just have to be. To find some calm and peace.
     
  5. twinklestar

    twinklestar Registered User

    Sep 14, 2014
    84

    Thanks for your reply. I like your style - new it is.
     

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