Hello everyone , my name is Helen
Firstly I would like to thank you for listening and tell you that I really love my mum and she has alzheimers.
She has helped me so much through my life and I moved in with my mum 18 months ago and have now been helping her and I have no problems with this.
I love living with my mum in many ways - despite the hard work - my siblings are vile though ( 2 of them )- I think they demonstrate the dark traid of personality traits and they are very uncaring towards my mother
Both of these siblings are best friends and see themselves as very caring and responsible which is frankly delusional
They have poor theory of mind skills - so they cannot empathise or reflect - the normal reciprocity that occurs within relationships are absent with this pair.
They have very fixed thinking traits they cannot see context in any given situation and they focus on random details - they are also always think they are right , no grey areas ...
I will give you an example sibling (1) visits my mum about an hour every couple of weeks or so - when my mother had a fall and head injury post a flu illnesses earlier in this year - I informed her the ambulance was here and had blue lighted her to hospital - I sent video through the day and stayed with my mum through all her tests and CT scans from 0700 hrs until 2100hrs when she was ready to go home
Sibling1 a female said she was too busy to come and see mum in hospital because she was at work (15 miles Way ) she then rocked up
like the queen mother at 2100hrs and insisted on driving mum home !
So off she went with mum in tow - as for me I have a responsible job and work full time and I rang my boss and was given emergency annual leave - anyway I digress
When I arrived at my mums my sister was there slightly fussing over my mum but not really and she turned to me and said
'' we are so different - I am so calm and you are so anxious '
Bearing in mInd I had just had one of the most stressful days off my life - not knowing if mum had a brain bleed or not etc
I was dumbfounded - anyway - she gave my mum some words of soothing wisdom and scuttled on her way - not to be seen for another 3 weeks - she lives 20 miles away
So I made sure mum was ok - got her to bed - slept on the floor in her room on a make shift bed - because she could not even sit up in bed - she was fully mobile before her fall
In the morning she was so distressed and had wet the bed - so I sorted her out - sorted the bed out - helped her and escorted her down stairs and made sure she ate etc etc
For the next two weeks I repeated this - I took time e off work to care for her - and I did it to a high standard - I also organised full time carers for when I was back at work - until she was back on her feet
About 3 weeks later my sister 'what's app ' d me and said how is mum and I explained and she said via' whats app'
' you are so anxious'
So I said
' why do you keep saying that ?'
She said
' you are sleeping on mums floor for ff sake '
I was mortified at her callousness and insensitivity and lack of the understanding in relation to how seriously ill mum had been
I cut off contact at that point
About a month later I arrived home e and had an urgent phone call from the GP and apparently my sister had phoned him up and said I was not meeting
my mums medical needs - I was so angry and the GP when I pointed out that I had taken mum to 30 appointments in the past 6 months , teeth, hearing, podiatrist, orthoptist, sight, GP, consultant, bloods , xray etc - and I said and you did the referrals- he apologised and said it sounds like it is a problems between you and your sister
My sister has taken my mum to No appointments
Anyway this goes on and on ... with nasty emails etc etc etc
Then several weeks ago she arrived on one of her state visits unannounced , ignored me and started to say to mum - ' let's go out '
A
( they would disagree but I will give you some examples, )
Firstly I would like to thank you for listening and tell you that I really love my mum and she has alzheimers.
She has helped me so much through my life and I moved in with my mum 18 months ago and have now been helping her and I have no problems with this.
I love living with my mum in many ways - despite the hard work - my siblings are vile though ( 2 of them )- I think they demonstrate the dark traid of personality traits and they are very uncaring towards my mother
Both of these siblings are best friends and see themselves as very caring and responsible which is frankly delusional
They have poor theory of mind skills - so they cannot empathise or reflect - the normal reciprocity that occurs within relationships are absent with this pair.
They have very fixed thinking traits they cannot see context in any given situation and they focus on random details - they are also always think they are right , no grey areas ...
I will give you an example sibling (1) visits my mum about an hour every couple of weeks or so - when my mother had a fall and head injury post a flu illnesses earlier in this year - I informed her the ambulance was here and had blue lighted her to hospital - I sent video through the day and stayed with my mum through all her tests and CT scans from 0700 hrs until 2100hrs when she was ready to go home
Sibling1 a female said she was too busy to come and see mum in hospital because she was at work (15 miles Way ) she then rocked up
like the queen mother at 2100hrs and insisted on driving mum home !
So off she went with mum in tow - as for me I have a responsible job and work full time and I rang my boss and was given emergency annual leave - anyway I digress
When I arrived at my mums my sister was there slightly fussing over my mum but not really and she turned to me and said
'' we are so different - I am so calm and you are so anxious '
Bearing in mInd I had just had one of the most stressful days off my life - not knowing if mum had a brain bleed or not etc
I was dumbfounded - anyway - she gave my mum some words of soothing wisdom and scuttled on her way - not to be seen for another 3 weeks - she lives 20 miles away
So I made sure mum was ok - got her to bed - slept on the floor in her room on a make shift bed - because she could not even sit up in bed - she was fully mobile before her fall
In the morning she was so distressed and had wet the bed - so I sorted her out - sorted the bed out - helped her and escorted her down stairs and made sure she ate etc etc
For the next two weeks I repeated this - I took time e off work to care for her - and I did it to a high standard - I also organised full time carers for when I was back at work - until she was back on her feet
About 3 weeks later my sister 'what's app ' d me and said how is mum and I explained and she said via' whats app'
' you are so anxious'
So I said
' why do you keep saying that ?'
She said
' you are sleeping on mums floor for ff sake '
I was mortified at her callousness and insensitivity and lack of the understanding in relation to how seriously ill mum had been
I cut off contact at that point
About a month later I arrived home e and had an urgent phone call from the GP and apparently my sister had phoned him up and said I was not meeting
my mums medical needs - I was so angry and the GP when I pointed out that I had taken mum to 30 appointments in the past 6 months , teeth, hearing, podiatrist, orthoptist, sight, GP, consultant, bloods , xray etc - and I said and you did the referrals- he apologised and said it sounds like it is a problems between you and your sister
My sister has taken my mum to No appointments
Anyway this goes on and on ... with nasty emails etc etc etc
Then several weeks ago she arrived on one of her state visits unannounced , ignored me and started to say to mum - ' let's go out '
A
( they would disagree but I will give you some examples, )
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