I am living a nightmare!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by zoet, Mar 5, 2008.

  1. zoet

    zoet Registered User

    Hi Elaine. With regard to your resident, I believe that if they are capable of making thier own decisions and judged to be so by the doctor then they are capable of signing a document revoking the EPA, and this should be done asap. Where I work, (in a home for people with Learning Disabilities), a lady was being financially abused by her daughter and we reported it to her social worker who then applied to the court of protection to have her finances and care protected. The important thing to remember is that EPA/LPA are set up to PROTECT the donors finances or welfare. They are not there to benefit the attorney, although they shouldn't be out of pocket. The EPA can be restricted to certain items too. A new LPA could be made I think with someone else as attorney, either acting with the other or separately, and that can be anyone they like, except somebody from the Home, or anyone else from the list of people who aren't allowed to be one. Did the relative let other people know about thier intent to register the EPA?

    Are you sure in this case that the attorney isn't genuinely trying to help your resident? Lots of people do not trust Care Homes when it comes to relatives finances, maybe because there is alot of abuse.

    However, seeing as you say your resident is adamant they do not want this attorney then it seems quite clear a revocation of the EPA is called for. Just out of interest how did the relative get the EPA without the residents signature or permission if there are judged to be mentally capable? I think that legal advice should be sought. Ask the Advocates to do this for the resident. And do it URGENTLY before the residents condition deteriorates.Dont waste any more time and get the ball rolling.:)

    You could also ring the Elder Abuse team for advice and help. ANYONE can report abuse and if you have genuine reason to supect this abuse you have a duty to do so.
  2. zoet

    zoet Registered User

    Dear Sue, thank you for the advice. I will ask dads CPN and GP to fill in the certificate. I will also write and tell his deceased brothers two daughters of his intent to appoint the LPA because he likes and trusts them. Dads' writing isn't good, and as I know the letter shouldn't be from me, should I get the solicitor to do this?
    I will have to find thier addresses out though as I havent seen them for absolutely years and I dont actually know their married names. Dad would also like their mum to know, which is a good idea as her husband, (dads' older brother), passed away last year as a result of Alzheimers and she would know what an LPA involves. She still sends dad letters so she will be easy to find.
    I know he doesnt have to have the certificates AND inform the relatives, but I think it's best considering what's gone on. Dads' focus at the moment is on moving in with us, because he's tired and wants some TLC, and as we hope this will be pretty quick we will register the LPA after that. He's still very capable of deciding what he wants so thats good. I think I found out about about the abuse just in time. Hopefuly dad will be capable for a good while yet, but you can never tell with this disease can you?:)
  3. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Wigan, Lancs
    The advice to anyone doing an LPA is that they do it now whilst they are capable, but that it is only registered when it needs to be used.

    Zoe, if you do not need to use the LPA just yet, I would just get it done and worry about registering it at a later date. It sounds as though you have enough going on right now.

    As you say there is no need to inform any other relatives, but you might feel happier that everyone who matters is aware of what your Dad is doing so there are no repercussions later. I see no reason why you couldn't write to your cousins on your Dad's behalf.

    Remember the solicitor can provide the certificate as well as health professionals. I would be interested to know whether the GP and CPN would be happy to provide the certificate. We have had trouble with one GP who didn't know what we were talking about!
  4. zoet

    zoet Registered User

    OMG! This is so far away now, and really so unimportant....theres a thing to learn right there, it matters not how you pay the bills, only that you want to pay them, and have fun finding a way! We never made her pay it all back, but hey ho, she didnt get to go to his funeral, and shes probably a little bit more than shocked about who gets dads assets. Hmmm...is she happy? Im thinking not. Am I? Well, having dad here with us would be better, but I know I will see him again. SHE wont!!! Thats for sure...hope she got her some sun tan oil!!!!

    \\\its probably of great consolation to many that finances are a great worry to EVERYONE after a death, yet (and here is the nub) they cant blummin have what you aint got!!!!x
  5. Amber 5

    Amber 5 Registered User

    Jan 20, 2009
    Hi Zoe,
    I have just read the whole thread for the first time - unbelievable story! Well I was amazed at the bare faced cheek of the woman (she obviously wasn't happy before with all her own money if she also had to go after your Dads) but no she won't be happy now either.

    Well done for everything you did and I'm sure you have happy memories of your lovely Dad to comfort you.
    Take care.
    Love Gill x
  6. Winnie Kjaer

    Winnie Kjaer Account Closed

    Aug 14, 2009
    Hello Zoet,
    I am absolutely amazed. I too have just read the whole thread this morning. Nothing to say that has not already been said except I think you handled this so well it is unbelievable.
    How you must have felt when you first unravelled this whole saga does not bear to think about. Your poor dad too. So pleased dad came to live with you and you have some wonderful memories.
    You are one amazing girl.
    Take care.
  7. Nan2seven

    Nan2seven Registered User

    Apr 11, 2009
    And I too have just read this entire thread, open-mouthed in disbelief at the first part. The sheer cheek of the woman. I am so glad you and your dad got things sorted and moved in together finally. Well done you for unravelling such a murky muddle.

    Love, Nan XXX

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