Husband cant differentiate between being hot or cold

[The Saint]

This forum is just so amazing I would never have known about all the little oddities that dementia throws at us. You read the leaflets you are given and research on the internet but the real wealth of knowledge is really on this forum.

My husband has the same problem as described by other posts. In his case he feels the cold but not the heat. He wears between 3 and five shirts at the same time, has also been known to have two pairs of trousers and two pairs of socks on too. He wears this in the day and also refuses to take any of it off at night so goes to bed in it too. If I don't watch him he will get into bed with his shoes on.

A year to 18 months ago I couldn't get him to shower so the smell was awful. Fortunately now he allows me to shower him every few days although he says there is absolutely no need for it but at least I can get a complete change of clothes on him. Needless to say I have loads of shirts to wash.

 

[scotlass]

this is exactly what my oh is like...I bought 2 light summer duvets so that they can go in the washing machine...when he goes to bed ..the blinds get drawn the curtains get closed ,the duvet is wrapped around him ..only his face peeping out,,,and the duvet sheet and pillow are soaked every morning. in this warm weather he sits with a fleece on...and he turns the thermastat up.....I keep turning it down......this must be another symptom of dementia I never knew about....

 

[MikeFB]

The opportunity to share ones experiences through TP has once again helped me to realise we are not alone and that the difficulties we face are not unique to our situation. I am 90 and care for my wife of similar age. In two months time we shall have been married for 67 years. During this recent hot spell I too have been confronted with the hot/cold conflict where my wife insists on wearing her cardigan with a rug for comfort and a hottie pad to retire with. Nothing I say has any sway in trying to encourage her otherwise and herein lies the nub of the problem. My wife has absolutely no acceptance or understanding of her condition, cannot relate to what's going on and therefore will resist any attempt to be persuaded or helped by me - often in the nastiness and most defiant way. - which I find difficult to accept. I have therefore come to the conclusion it is often best not to persevere and accept the situation for what it is - which is not easy especially after such a long period of married bliss.

 

[canary]

Last night was so hot and even with just a sheet over me I was sweating buckets.
At that point (just before I threw the sheet off) I thought about this thread and concentrated on the sensation of the heat and sweating and suddenly realised that when you get to that level of heating the sweats feel strangely like chills.

Yes, people with dementia do feel the cold, and problems with sequencing do mean that they put multiple lavers on, by last night I found myself wondering whether once they end up so hot that they are sweating it felt the same way I was feeling - a way that could easily be mistaken for feeling cold.

 

[scotlass]

good point canary...if they sweat so much that the sheets and duvets get wet....the wetness will feel cold to them

 

[scotlass]

The opportunity to share ones experiences through TP has once again helped me to realise we are not alone and that the difficulties we face are not unique to our situation. I am 90 and care for my wife of similar age. In two months time we shall have been married for 67 years. During this recent hot spell I too have been confronted with the hot/cold conflict where my wife insists on wearing her cardigan with a rug for comfort and a hottie pad to retire with. Nothing I say has any sway in trying to encourage her otherwise and herein lies the nub of the problem. My wife has absolutely no acceptance or understanding of her condition, cannot relate to what's going on and therefore will resist any attempt to be persuaded or helped by me - often in the nastiness and most defiant way. - which I find difficult to accept. I have therefore come to the conclusion it is often best not to persevere and accept the situation for what it is - which is not easy especially after such a long period of married bliss.

 

[scotlass]

Mike I'm so sorry to hear how you have to cope with the change in your wife's behavior, and yes ,it is sometimes easier to just go along with it..anything that will make your life easier. I think if their nature changes ,that's one of the hardest things to come to terms with...I care for my husband who has alzheimers, he's not too bad at the moment, but I know that could change anytime...I also cared for my mum 30 years ago ,she changed so much when she came to live with us....she didn't want my husband or our children in the house, she only wanted me....everything was so out of character and so hard to live with...we can only do our best...and that's what you are doing...take care of yourself too..xx