1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Hubby is a ypwd .....!

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Rubylou, Jan 23, 2015.

  1. Rubylou

    Rubylou Registered User

    Jan 20, 2015
    18
    Female
    Cambridgeshire
    hello, new to all this forum stuff so not sure where this post is going to go...!
    My husband was diagnosed last September with early onset of alz , just before his 60th birthday.
    Would love to chat with anyone else who has similar aged person to care for to exchange tips or just support. ( I am 14 yrs younger !) in or around Cambridgeshire area would be good too.

    Thanks
    Rubylou
     
  2. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Hi Rubylou, welcome. So tough that you are both having to deal with this at such a young age. I think you will find this forum is a very useful place to get information, support and somewhere you can offload!. People are very kind and at all stages on the road. Looking forward to getting to know you!
    Very best wishes
    Es
    x
     
  3. J K N

    J K N Registered User

    Jan 21, 2015
    5
    chester
    another new forum member

    My wife (80 years old) was diagnosed with Alz., 12 months ago, first stages words mixed up and fading memory. donoprosol given 6 moths ago then changed to memantine 2 months before Christmas after she started with illusions (seing other people in the house and not recognising me at times) . She was then taken off mementine as it was thought they may be causing the problem.
    Since then these illusions have got much much worse with her seing these people, ie. a young man, a young woman and thinking that I am another man with my name but not her husband. At first these came in the evening (sundowning ?) but in the last 2 weeks nearly all day. She has now started to get very very angry when they suddenly vanish and I am blamed for letting them go, to the extent that she is throwing things about the house.
    At a visit last Friday to the memory clinic, they have prescribed Risperidone ( to start taking this on Monday evening) to try help with the angry feelings and the illusions. Reading some of the post on this forum there seems to be some problems with this drug.
    Are illusions common with Alz. and how do others manage the problem, and do I have to worry about Risperidone
     
  4. Feline

    Feline Registered User

    Oct 25, 2012
    164
    East Devon
    Hi Rubylou

    Welcome.
    My husband Rob was diagnosed at 59 and is now 65 with complex needs. I still look after him at home(needs all care). I take him to day care three days a week. Two so that I can
    Work and one to catch up with friends etc. I also have both parents with memory problems, so they are needing more support from me as well while Rob is at daycare.
    I often look at TP for opinions of others and find it a help. Alz is very individual, affecting people in so many different ways, what one might have ,another may not and there are similar things that we all go through at different times. Make the most of life while in the early stages if you are able to.
    Accept as much help as you can and keep watching and posting.
    Take care
    Best wishes
     
  5. Alison N

    Alison N Registered User

    Jan 3, 2015
    208
    Surrey
    Hi Rubylou

    Welcome to TP. I am so sorry to hear about you husband and know what you are both having to deal with.

    My husband was also diagnosed last September with Alzheimer's at the age of 52. It is something that always happens to someone else and it is difficult. I have found a huge amount of support on TP. There is alway someone to give advice and emotional support. I feel I know so many of them personally! So many have said not to look into the future but just to carry on with your lives and I am taking this advice. It has helped me so much. Make the most of today and do all the things you planned instead of putting them off.

    Take care
    Alison x
     
  6. Rubylou

    Rubylou Registered User

    Jan 20, 2015
    18
    Female
    Cambridgeshire
    #6 Rubylou, Jan 26, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2015
    Thanks for your replies ! It's good to know that there are people to chat to out there who kinda know what we are going through!
    Gosh where to start.... So much to ask and chat about....does anyone who is caring for someone with alz have a family history of it? If so has anyone had the genetic test/counselling ?? Does anyone also have teenage children?
    Thanks

    Ruth
     
  7. Rubylou

    Rubylou Registered User

    Jan 20, 2015
    18
    Female
    Cambridgeshire
    Hi Alison, thanks for replying! Gosh I was shocked when you said how old your husband is! So he too is a ypwd..! I hated Charlie being written down as that, I know it's just letters and words but it kinda just put him in a category. But hey that's my feeling not his and that I have had to tell myself a lot over the last few very hard months. I am sure you know kinda how it goes.
    So how did things start for you? Does your husband have family history? Charlie's mum had alz as did 3 out he her other 8 siblings. It's such a horrid thing to have. I have even found myself thinking why can't he have something that can have some sort of chance of being treated!
    I have spent many hours daydreaming of what is ahead and having watched his mum decline as she did, you can't help but picture how it's going to be. Very hard to just live for today when today's are often so hard and just not how you thought they would be.
    Can I ask do you have children? We have 2 daughters 16 and 14 and I have a son 21. They have all been fab and have a good understanding of things. I try not to bog them down with details. My youngest has been very matter of fact and her sister an emotional wreck ...like me!

    Good to hear from you
    Ruth x

    Welcome to TP. I am so sorry to hear about you husband and know what you are both having to deal with.

    My husband was also diagnosed last September with Alzheimer's at the age of 52. It is something that always happens to someone else and it is difficult. I have found a huge amount of support on TP. There is alway someone to give advice and emotional support. I feel I know so many of them personally! So many have said not to look into the future but just to carry on with your lives and I am taking this advice. It has helped me so much. Make the most of today and do all the things you planned instead of putting them off.

    Take care
    Alison x[/QUOTE]
     
  8. Alison N

    Alison N Registered User

    Jan 3, 2015
    208
    Surrey
    Hi Ruth

    I will private message you.

    Alison
     
  9. Hellyg

    Hellyg Registered User

    Nov 18, 2014
    78
    Midlands
    Hi Ruth

    As Alison says there are a few of us out there. My husband was diagnosed at 55, I am 16 years younger than him, so a similar age gap to you and your husband.

    I always knew I might end up looking after my husband one day but never so soon, I guess i didn't' think Alzheimer's.

    I am learning to live each day at a time and make the most of everything we can still do.

    Please feel free to private message me if you want to chat off line.
     

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