Hi all,
My lovely 90 yr old MIL has deteriorated rapidly in the last month and we've now had to take the difficult decision to move her into a nursing home. She only moved into her beautiful assisted living apartment 6 months ago and we all hoped that this would be her last move. The process of buying the apartment took over 6 months so she hasn't had much time there. However on speaking to the manager and carers yesterday, it's clear that she isn't coping, is very unhappy and is much more poorly than we all we expected her to be at this time. She's suddenly become very demanding, quite rude is wandering and doesn't understand that the carers and other residents aren't her personal servants, at her beck & call 24/7!
She's always said she didn't want to go into a nursing home and we always have said we'd try and prevent unless until it became absolutely necessary. We've made it clear we couldn't promise anything more than that. Well, it is now necessary for her safety and well-being.
We've spoken to the nursing home and although there isn't a vacancy at the moment she's going to be priority 1 for the next space. We'll be paying the fees so we haven't got to wait for funding, which means she could be offered a space in the next few weeks.
How have others broached this subject with your loved ones? We need to be kind and sympathetic but at the same time have control of the situation. We love her dearly and she will be devastated but we really feel we have no other option at this stage. We'd also rather be prepared rather than everything becoming an emergency and us not being able to find a suitable accommodation for her. What's the kindest way to explain to her that this is necessary without it ending up in a battle of negotiations?
Any ideas gratefully received!
My lovely 90 yr old MIL has deteriorated rapidly in the last month and we've now had to take the difficult decision to move her into a nursing home. She only moved into her beautiful assisted living apartment 6 months ago and we all hoped that this would be her last move. The process of buying the apartment took over 6 months so she hasn't had much time there. However on speaking to the manager and carers yesterday, it's clear that she isn't coping, is very unhappy and is much more poorly than we all we expected her to be at this time. She's suddenly become very demanding, quite rude is wandering and doesn't understand that the carers and other residents aren't her personal servants, at her beck & call 24/7!
She's always said she didn't want to go into a nursing home and we always have said we'd try and prevent unless until it became absolutely necessary. We've made it clear we couldn't promise anything more than that. Well, it is now necessary for her safety and well-being.
We've spoken to the nursing home and although there isn't a vacancy at the moment she's going to be priority 1 for the next space. We'll be paying the fees so we haven't got to wait for funding, which means she could be offered a space in the next few weeks.
How have others broached this subject with your loved ones? We need to be kind and sympathetic but at the same time have control of the situation. We love her dearly and she will be devastated but we really feel we have no other option at this stage. We'd also rather be prepared rather than everything becoming an emergency and us not being able to find a suitable accommodation for her. What's the kindest way to explain to her that this is necessary without it ending up in a battle of negotiations?
Any ideas gratefully received!