believing that someone who died a quarter of a century ago is still alive?
My mum has mixed dementia and today said she was going to go and stay with her mum - I gently reminded her that her mum had died in 1990 but she adamantly refused to believe this and said yes, her DAD had died suddenly (which he did, in 1972) but that her mum was still very much alive.
So I asked her where my grandmother was living now, and she said she didn't know.
The cruel part is that her mum was 92 when she died but had all her mental faculties and was as sharp as a knife until two days before she died - she would be horribly upset to know how unhappy her daughter is now. My aunt, my mum's older sister, is 88 and also has all her faculties and is dreadfully upset at how this horrible disease is robbing us of her sister day by day.
So, what is the best approach to take - do I play along with it, or do I tell her gently but firmly that her mum has been dead for a long time? I don't want to upset her either way.
My mum has mixed dementia and today said she was going to go and stay with her mum - I gently reminded her that her mum had died in 1990 but she adamantly refused to believe this and said yes, her DAD had died suddenly (which he did, in 1972) but that her mum was still very much alive.
So I asked her where my grandmother was living now, and she said she didn't know.
The cruel part is that her mum was 92 when she died but had all her mental faculties and was as sharp as a knife until two days before she died - she would be horribly upset to know how unhappy her daughter is now. My aunt, my mum's older sister, is 88 and also has all her faculties and is dreadfully upset at how this horrible disease is robbing us of her sister day by day.
So, what is the best approach to take - do I play along with it, or do I tell her gently but firmly that her mum has been dead for a long time? I don't want to upset her either way.