How can I help my mum?

[Labrat]

Hello
My name is Ros I live in Bristol.
In December 2022, at the age of 82, my Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He lives with my Mum in Kent which is a long way away.
On the whole he seems ok, his balance is poor now but he refuses to use a stick. He is also having trouble swallowing so meals are very simple.
He can no longer drive so they got rid of the car.
He is afraid of new things and They do not have what you would call a friendship group so thier lives are very limited,
He does not seem to understand what has happened to him and gets confused and annoyed when he can’t do what he used to be able to.
His favourite thing used to be going for long walks by the sea which he is now unable to do alone and my mum isn’t that keen.

I don’t know how best to help them day to day and it feels like they don’t have any access to support groups where they live (everything closed during Covid and did not reopen).

I haven’t posted so far but feel I would like some advice about how to help my Mum get some help maybe.

Thanks
Ros

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @Labrat / Ros

Have a look at this link to see if any help is available in your area

Find support near you

Use our dementia directory to find local support services for people with dementia and their carers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

Has your mother had a carer's assessment?

Carer's assessments - Social care and support guide

See if you can get support from your council, such as extra money or a break from caring.

www.nhs.uk

You can also suggest she uses this care line

Companion Calls

Alzheimer's Society Companion Calls is a phone service that helps people with dementia and carers feel more connected and less lonely.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Gosling]

Hello Ros @Labrat and welcome to this friendly and supportive forum from me too.

I am sorry to read about your Dad's diagnosis and the fact that your Mum is struggling a bit. It's tough for sure.

@Grannie G has already given you some sound suggestions regarding what support may be available in their area. I hope that helps.

There is a wealth of shared experience of dementia to be found here, so do have a good look around the forums and ask any particular questions you may like to.

 

[Labrat]

thank you - unfortunately none of the support networks in their area have reopened after Covid. The nearest one would be three bus rides away which Dad would be unable to manage.
I keep trying to get my mum to seek help with shopping and gardening etc and maybe just getting someone to come and sit with dad while she goes out but she keeps saying that the resources are too scarce and the waiting lists are too long.
They have never used private services and always relied on the NHS - it is so hard to get them to consider private support.
Ros