1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Everton Annie

    Everton Annie Registered User

    So sad for you @Rosebay . One small step at a time - hope you enjoyed and found solace in your walk.
     
  2. Havemercy

    Havemercy Registered User

    Oct 8, 2012
    116
    I am very sorry to hear this Rosebay xxxx
     
  3. Rosebay

    Rosebay Registered User

    Jul 27, 2014
    165
    Oxfordshire
    Thank you all for your words of comfort and support. I am looking at the Coping with Bereavement information but not taking much in yet. The dealing with loss forum on here is very informative too - I just didnt want to click on to it.
     
  4. CeliaW

    CeliaW Registered User

    Jan 29, 2009
    5,654
    Hampshire
    Oh Rosebay, am so sorry to read this but I hope you get comfort from having been with your husband. I am sure he would have got comfort and reassurance from your presence.

    Please take good care of yourself, take care, hugs xx
     
  5. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    515
    Scotland
    So sorry to hear this sad news Rosebay.

    I've just come home from visiting OH in care home - sad to go in, sad to come home leaving him there. It seems we can never be without sadness in dementia world.

    Your dear husband is no longer suffering but the pain of parting is so hard to bear. I hope and pray that you will receive the strength needed to cope in the days to come.

    Lilac x
     
  6. Rosebay

    Rosebay Registered User

    Jul 27, 2014
    165
    Oxfordshire
    Thank you Lilac Blossom and Celia W. Its just starting to hit me now. I decided to go to light a candle in church today - dont know why but I felt the need and there it was in the Departed section of this weeks Parish magazine his name and he never ever went to Church. Then there was clearing his room at the Home fortunately I have family that did this for me but they brought all his things back here. I opened one case and saw his hat and had to close it again as it broke my heart knowing he would never wear it again. I know my husband was lost to me many months ago but I was hoping that having him close again he would feel my love and we would have many more months of just being together but it was not to be.
     
  7. Rosebay

    Rosebay Registered User

    Jul 27, 2014
    165
    Oxfordshire
    I think this will be my last post here now as I am moving to the Dealing with Loss forum. I have been to the registrars office today so I guess that makes it final - he has gone from my life. Just got to get through the funeral service and then ..... I really dont know except I will just take one day at a time. Thank you all again for helping me through the last seven years - especially those who have private messaged me. x
     
  8. Lorna44

    Lorna44 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2016
    175
    Female
    Surrey
    So sorry for your loss, you'll carry him in your heart forever.
     
  9. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,075
    Merseyside
    I’m so sorry @Rosebay. My thoughts are with you.
     
  10. June 1947

    June 1947 Registered User

    Oct 22, 2015
    6
    My sincere condolences to you Rosebay.
     
  11. Caz60

    Caz60 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    252
    Lancashire
    Hi Rosebay,I wish you well in whatever you decide to do now you are able ,once you settle down take your time and be happy ,my word you have done your greatest deed ever .xxxxx
     
  12. Sannie

    Sannie Registered User

    Apr 21, 2017
    1
    Hello, I haven’t posted before. My partner went to hospital under section and wasn’t able to return home. I have been devastated. I still work and try and see him every day. We never got to retire and I miss him all the time. He does seem quite content and I realise it’s me who feels the unbearable loss.
     
  13. Mrs.Mole

    Mrs.Mole Registered User

    My husband has been in a care home a year this month and I still miss him terribly. I try to keep busy all day doing decorating and picture painting. I sell a few bits on ebay from the left over stock that I have from our Dolls House shop days, when my clever husband used to make the most intricate and beautiful houses. Our son lives quite a way off from me and doesn't drive but he comes up once a month by train and stays for a few days and we go and visit my husband, his dad. My lovely son does odd jobs for me and takes me out for a meal but the rest of the time I hardly see a soul. My husband is 14 miles away. At first consumed with guilt I used to go every other day to visit him, then when I realised just how lovely the staff at the care home were, I cut it down to twice a week and now, I just visit on Saturdays when its nice and quiet there and we can just sit on the settee and chat, mostly rubbish and non finished words, on his part, but at least we communicate, he still knows me and we hold hands and feel like teenagers again. I always have a chat with 'my second family' all the lovely girls that work there and I know my husband is happy there by the way he is with them. I am lucky to have found such a caring home. I leave feeling a little heavy of heart but it is just my sadness, he is perfectly happy. I stay up at night until I am really tired and then I go to bed and read until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. Life is not ideal anymore but I just take it one day at a time. You learn to adjust, Iv'e done it before when our youngest son got killed in a car crash in 1992. Never over it but managing to cope.
     

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