Hiding things.

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,152
Hi my PWD my Dad has been hiding food plus the remote controls to the TV and wallets.I too have found a plate of sandwiches with crisps in the dressing table drawer this week probably from Saturday, Some sandwiches were left on the ironing board when I came in from work the other day. Bananas and yoghurt (in pots with lids on thankfully) have been found under the chair and in a box. I also found 3 black bananas in a kitchen drawer that isn't used much.Plus a banana on top of the wardrobe and on the radiator. I thought a teaplate had been broken and thrown away before Christmas as couldn't find it. Found it complete with green mouldy sandwiches in foil in the cupboard with the dishes used for Boxing Day tea. Dad was relatively ok this time last year but has been on the decline since November.

Carers come in at lunchtime to encourage Dad to eat however Dad takes his time to eat. So food can go awol. He also has a thing about toilet roll and takes off squares for his pocket ( he likes proper hankies usually) or puts a roll in his bedroom. Not sure about some post going missing. Two appointments to attend scans before Christmas never appeared.
If post is going missing and you have power of attorney for finance and property you can get the post redirected to you
 

trying too hard!

New member
Aug 28, 2019
6
This is almost a relief to read. We also have lots going 'missing'.


Mum has demetia- I would say moderate to bad- no longer deemed to have capacity. Dad has recently also been diagnosed with 'early ischaemic changes to the brain, vascular dementia'.
In the spring the ear mould from one of my Mum's hearing aids disappeared out of the box overnight. Dad insisted Mum has hidden it. It was taken out after she went to bed, and not there in the morning before the carer got her up. A week later the whole of the other one went. Again, clearly, according to Dad, she has hidden it.
They have not turned up.
He has also told me that the carer's steal things. Evidence is, in his mind, that 'they put things in the washing machine'

Lot's of other stuff has vanished, but despite hunting, failed to reappear.
I spend too much time hunting for the bits he thinks we did not buy- we did- or that the carers have 'thrown away' - they haven;'t. Sometimes I find the stuff....
 

vicx

Registered User
Sep 11, 2017
22
It's oh so familiar, my mum is very paranoid. Most days burglars have been in her house and stolen her handbag , purse, teeth, keys etc. I do laugh, as recently she claimed a burglar had been in and eaten her bread and jam, strangely her teeth were missing too, so we could only assume the burglar had eaten the bread and jam but he needed her dentures to eat it. She obviously didn't see the humour in this.
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
386
Some practical advice:
My mum has fairly bad memory loss and always losing her purses (she has 3). She isn't exactly hiding them but it feels like it after I spend 2 hours searching the house without success. So I bought her a key finding device. It cost £20 on amazon and contains 6 fobs.

You put a fob in each purse, then when she loses it, the controller will make the fob sound - problem solved.

Well, in my case not quite as my mum found the fobs and threw them away, forgetting what they are. However, if they were to be sewn into the purse lining then she couldn't do it. I will try this ;)

Hope this helps.

Tried this and quest what she found the key fobs and hid them!! She took them out of her bag first! I’m going to try and sew one into the lining if I can get her bag for long enough! lol
 
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MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
140
Northamptonshire
Depends how much money is involved, it may not matter. But in future I would always get receipts unless it's for low cost run of the mill stuff like toiletries.
Hi Sirena,

Regarding receipts. The thing is Mums still living independently, she spends her money as she wishes at the moment. We try to keep any eye on it, but she draws cash out and we have no idea where it goes, as it disappears and reappears in her purse. We cant be responsible for her money all the time. Also she's taken out for meals by her partner (they dont live together - he comes certain days of the week) so we have to ensure she has cash in her purse, and cash to pay for her groceries when he takes her shopping, day's out etc. So we have no record of any of that.
 

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
140
Northamptonshire
Amazing to read this thread. My dear mama is also the victim of theft, constantly. On Monday (at the CH) I was greeted with 'Thank goodness you're here - all the money's gone!'

The 'money' in question is all her father's things, all the property and everything in the 'other place' she lives with all the kids. The police are here all the time questioning everybody and R (my father, dead for 20+ years) has been convicted and he's blazing mad.

The kids from the school also come in and help themselves, as do the carers. (Not that she ever sees anyone here - there's been no food all week.) People frequently come in at night to steal her underwear. Apparently they always comment on her floral knickers and have never seen ones like that. o_O

Then there's handbag-gate. There are 2 bags on her bed, plus one tucked at her side in the chair. But these have all been stolen and emptied. All her cash has gone - she doesn't have a penny to her name. (Shocking, isn't it?) They've taken her comb and lipstick too. I examine the bags. One contains a million dirty tissues, 3 glasses cases, 1 pair of glasses (not hers I don't think but I don't mention that), a pen, a key ring and a broken... thing. (Bits of plastic - the remains of another glasses case I think.) Bag 2 contains a hairbrush, tissues, 4 nail files, biscuit wrappers and 2 more pens. Bag 3 contains a comb and her purse, stuffed with notes which I show her. Her reply? 'Well, it wasn't there before. They'll only come back and steal it again.'

During the visit I had to re-show the cash several times more as she had forgotten. Again. Finally she said, 'Oh well. So did you have a nice Christmas?'

For the record, the 'cash' in her purse is real.... but it is old big green pound notes and old ten shilling notes, purchased by me on eBay :D

Hi Jaded & Faded,
Your post 'Handbag gate' sounds a little like our Mum. Mums handbag is stuffed with around 20 tissues, leaflets that have come through the door, toenail clippers (2 pairs), a couple of razors, about 10 pens, ALL her make up, several combs, brushes, knickers, socks. But nothing else. very bizarre
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,063
Hi Sirena,

Regarding receipts. The thing is Mums still living independently, she spends her money as she wishes at the moment. We try to keep any eye on it, but she draws cash out and we have no idea where it goes, as it disappears and reappears in her purse. We cant be responsible for her money all the time. Also she's taken out for meals by her partner (they dont live together - he comes certain days of the week) so we have to ensure she has cash in her purse, and cash to pay for her groceries when he takes her shopping, day's out etc. So we have no record of any of that.
That's fine, I just meant that when you buy something with her money, as you did when you paid the locksmith, you should keep a receipt. When my mother was still living at home both she and I had access to her account. I kept receipts for anything I paid for on her behalf - carers, clothes, electrical appliances, vet bills. She took cash out for her shopping and visits to hairdresser etc, obviously I had no receipts for that.

However I would continue to keep an eye on the amount she is withdrawing. My mother was fairly abstemious and would take out regular amounts each week. When I registered the LPA, the bank asked if I wanted her to continue to have access to the account, and I said yes because there was no worrying financial activity. I would have rescinded her access if large amounts started to go missing.