Hi my names Melanie. My mum had Alzheimer’s

[Mel2024]

Good evening
I’m worried about my mum. She’s was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s three years ago. And she’s started to get angry and frustrated with lots of things.
Her behaviour has changed quite quickly in the past few weeks.
She gets more angry with her careers that come to get her dressed , she lives alone at home. And has been doing so well so far. But this stage is worrying me so much.
She has a budgie , she loved this bird. But now she says it’s died , this bird isn’t her bird. She dosnt feed it anymore, isn’t interesting in it. She’s now spending time in the bedroom away from the bird. It sounds comical but it’s happening.
She practically lives in her bedroom. I go every day to see mum , while I’m there she will potter off back to bed.
I’ve been to the doctors and they said they can put mum in antidepressants. So I’ll think that’s an option. Also I think I need to get her a urine test. Just to see if she’s dehydrated.

 

[Angel55]

Good evening
I’m worried about my mum. She’s was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s three years ago. And she’s started to get angry and frustrated with lots of things.
Her behaviour has changed quite quickly in the past few weeks.
She gets more angry with her careers that come to get her dressed , she lives alone at home. And has been doing so well so far. But this stage is worrying me so much.
She has a budgie , she loved this bird. But now she says it’s died , this bird isn’t her bird. She dosnt feed it anymore, isn’t interesting in it. She’s now spending time in the bedroom away from the bird. It sounds comical but it’s happening.
She practically lives in her bedroom. I go every day to see mum , while I’m there she will potter off back to bed.
I’ve been to the doctors and they said they can put mum in antidepressants. So I’ll think that’s an option. Also I think I need to get her a urine test. Just to see if she’s dehydrated.

Hi 💗

Antidepressants can help as well as ruling out a water infection/dehydration.

I think it becomes increasingly difficult to live alone even with care support in place.

People become frightened and anxious being alone when previously they were okay. I am pretty sure my Dad was extremely lonely and with no-one to talk to, refusal to engage with anything we suggested he just got a lot worse over a twelve month period,

He is now in residential care but he rarely leaves his room, his safe space maybe that is how your mum might feel ?

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome @Mel2024

It sounds to me as if your mum has reached a more confused state which can be, three years after diagnosis.

If a water infection is ruled out [UTI] I would be surprised if antidepressants help although there`s probably no harm in trying them on a doctor`s recommendation.

Her bedroom is keeping her safe in a small place. My mother lived in her bedroom for a while following the diagnosis.

I was sitting in her living room waiting for a carer. She came into the room, looked around and said `This is a nice room.` She had no idea it was a room in her home and turned round and returned to her bedroom.

Are you happy your mother is safe in her own home? It might be time now to think about residential care.

 

[Gosling]

Hello @Mel2024 and welcome from me too to this friendly and supportive forum.
I am sorry to read about your Mum. As others have said, it is certainly sensible to rule out a UTI first; antidepressants may help, but of course it is quite possible that the Alzheimer's is progressing.
As much as she has been able to live independently since her diagnosis , with care visits, it may be necessary to up the carer visits or consider residential care in the medium term.
You Mum's safety and wellbeing is paramount here, and although it's a hard hard decision to have to make, (I had to do the same for my Mum), it was absolutely the right decision.

 

[Mel2024]

Hello @Mel2024 and welcome from me too to this friendly and supportive forum.
I am sorry to read about your Mum. As others have said, it is certainly sensible to rule out a UTI first; antidepressants may help, but of course it is quite possible that the Alzheimer's is progressing.
As much as she has been able to live independently since her diagnosis , with care visits, it may be necessary to up the carer visits or consider residential care in the medium term.
You Mum's safety and wellbeing is paramount here, and although it's a hard hard decision to have to make, (I had to do the same for my Mum), it was absolutely the right decision.

Thank you so much for your reply. I’ve been to visit a nursing home and I’ve now contacted them to ask if mum could go into rest-bite for a couple of weeks.
I don’t like her being on her own , and I know she’s lonely and confused.
I hate seeing her like it. I’ve never heard her swear , and get really angry. It’s horrible to see her in this way.
I get so upset and frustrated that’s she’s not the same mum.
It’s horrible.

 

[Gosling]

Gosh, @Mel2024 I do so feel for you. A lot of what you say echos with how my Mum used to be. She would swear like a trooper in the care home at times!! - not what she would have done ordinarily. It is horrible, there's no two ways around it, seeing your loved one change in all sorts of ways and gradually decline.
On the positive side, it is good that you've been to visit a home and that you may hopefully be able to arrange a couple of weeks respite care. I think that would be good for both her, and you.
I used to get so upset, frustrated, impatient, and angry with my dear Mum at times. Knowing that it's the dementia talking, and not your Mum, doesn't always 'cut it'. I do feel for you. Hope things improve with the nursing home.