Hi - I'm a new member


Registered User
Jun 21, 2005
This is my first posting, although I have found lots of comfort on your site in the past.

I have both my parents living with me, mum, 81, with AD for six years and my dad who is increasingly frail at 84. We had the house adapted five years ago so they could move in instead of a 300 mile trip every couple of weeks to a house that was really unsuitable after they had both broken their hips and wrists. (Not, fortunately together!). They have settled fairly well although mum still packs to go home regularly. We're lucky that mum now has two days a week at a day centre which she seems to enjoy when she gets there, but it is quite an effort to get her ready and out of the house. I work part time but try to take dad out on one of my days off each week. I have also just found a friend's daughter to sit in the evenings so we can take dad out with us. ( Mum gets very anxious out of the house, especially at night, and everyone else has a pretty tense time, so we've decied its best to get someone in, and so far that's been fine.)

My biggest concerns are being constantly tired! (Who isn't!) and guilt about the rest of my family. My husband works extremely long hours as a teacher and is having a bit of 'career and health crisis', my children have got to the interesting teenage stage at 13 and 11, and the thirteen year old has a heart condition, awaiting surgery - and in fact has had to stay off school today. (So I am really supposed to be working from home now!)

Sorry this sounds like a long moan, but it is great to know there are people out there going through the same things.

I did want to ask whether anyone else had experienced the sort of anxiety response we sometimes get from mum - she tends to hyperventilate and / or be sick quite often and pretty much out of the blue. The only common link is that she might be worked up about something, and it does happen quite often when she's out. Is this to do with AD ? - she also has quite severe osteoporosis so is fairly bent over, which can't help.


Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
Tully, Qld, Australia
Hi Karen,

A very warm 'Welcome to TP'.

You sure sound as if you have a lot on your plate with elderly parents and teenaged children. Little wonder you feel tired..! Please moan as much as you want to - I think I would be climbing the walls personally. Just ditch the guilt. You are doing a tremendous job.

Anxiety can take many forms. My mother hates going out too. Her response is to throw herself around in the back of the car, moan and weep and generally carry on with an awful keening noise. She also demands to go the the loo every couple of minutes. It can all get pretty wearing and sometimes I feel like giving in and taking her straight home. We perseve until we get to wherever we are going and can jolly Mum into enjoying herself a bit, but I always hold her hand and give her lots of reassurance.

It's all to do with being out of her security zone, I think. It must be pretty scarey to be in a strange place and terribly confused. You may find that your mother's sickness is a physical reaction to being afraid and agrophobic.

I don't really know what to suggest, except that regular short trips around the block or down to the local shop may help her to realise that she will always be returned to her security base.

Hope this helps.


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