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Hi...feel a bit nervous about posting...

sallyc

Registered User
Aug 20, 2008
1,674
0
45
suffolk
Hi all.

Thanks for your replies. I too hope the antibiotics get to work really soon.

Kassy - thank you so much for posting. I know it's hard. You know about Grandad. You know what he was like. It's so awful to see him how he is now :(

Thank you for caring about me and Grandad xxx
 

Lovetosing

Registered User
Sep 15, 2013
24
0
West Midlands
I cried then I smiled - thanks

Dear Sally

I am a recent addict to this forum and have also felt the need to rant this evening. Reading your thread made me cry as I could identify with you, as the dad I adore has sadly deteriorated again recently. However the comments people left you and your photo made me smile. So thank you for posting again. Whilst dad can't hold the long conversations we used to, enjoy a film or play to win a game for himself, I am so thankful that we can still do some things together - sing, laugh, go for a walk, play soft ball or badminton over mom's head! I have a life time of very happy memories and realise no matter how sad I feel at least I can still make precious moments from simple pleasures, which I know so many people on this site can no longer do. I'll think of your family often when I'm with my Mr adorable. I don't think anything I can say could possibly make you feel better because you are in a desperately sad situation. However, try to smile sometimes even through you heartbreak - apparently it makes your brain think you are happy. :) I send my love to you all.

Hi everyone

As you can see from my info, I've been a member for several years.

I used to be very involved in TP (a bit too involved, maybe?? :eek::() and knew lots of people on here. I haven't really posted for quite a while, although I do keep popping in to see how people are doing.

The longer it's been since I've posted, the more new members there are, and the less people I seem to "know".

Anyway...

For those who don't know, in 2009 I became one of my Grandad's main carers after he moved 200 miles to live near us (I guess I still am now, even though he's in a CH). I share the role with my Dad. Instead of boring you all here, I've just written a blog post about me and Grandad. If you want to know our history, it's all there.

I wanted to post because I know how much support and strength can be gathered from TP members.

Grandad has deteriorated a lot. He's losing weight, he's on antipsychotics for his aggression, he has a fall approx once a week and he hasn't a clue who any of us are, of his surroundings or of anything to do with his past :(

I love him so much. I miss him - my Grandad, the one I have so many amazing memories of. I hate what this disease has done to him. Physically he's so well, but mentally there's nothing :(

I visited him today. His hearing isn't good, but I'm usually really good at getting to hear me and understand what I'm saying. I hold his hand or arm, get close to his face and talk clearly. Today, every time I said anything to him, he just said "Sorry love, I can't understand what you're saying" :(

I love him so much. I miss him - my Grandad. the one I have so many amazing memories of. The one who decided, in the mid 1990's, he was going to drive his 1934 Model B Ford from Lands End to John O'Groats and went and bought himself a tent and came and joined us, camping, in Cornwall during the International Surf Championships at Fistral Beach in Newquay.

I'm just feeling sad tonight. :(

Sorry for my waffling :eek: and well done for persevering if you've read this far ;)
 

sallyc

Registered User
Aug 20, 2008
1,674
0
45
suffolk
I called the CH today to see how Grandad was. I had a long chat with the manager.

He said Grandad's not well at all. They're not at all happy with the state of his health and the GP will be seeing him again tomorrow. They said they're not happy with where he is just now. I guess if he's no better they may consider moving him to hospital.

He has been completely incontinent and they were busy shampooing his bedroom carpet as we spoke.

They had managed to help him to walk into the lounge and have moved his bed out and put in a hospital bed for now. This is so they can raise it to help him get on it and lower it to reduce the risk of injury if he tries to climb out in the night and has a fall.

The manager also told me they will need to have a conversation with Dad as they are close to being unable to meet his needs. They think he's almost ready for nursing care.

Mum and Dad are away on holiday for another week and even though my sister's around and supportive I'm feeling very alone. I won't tell them how bad things are unless I have to. I don't want to spoil their holiday. Let's see what the GP says tomorrow. Hopefully it is just UTI and will respond to the antibiotics quickly. I really hope I'm panicking for nothing. I don't know if I can cope on my own if he's in hospital again :(
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Dear Sally,

I am sorry to hear about your lovely grandfather being so ill. I will be hoping the a/b's work quickly. I can understand your upset at how ill he is. I also think it is good that you consider your children and let them do what they wish with regard to their great granddad.

Love and a hug
 

Noorza

Registered User
Jun 8, 2012
6,542
0
As you know UTI's can knock the elderly for six, I hope like you that he will rally around again.

You clearly adore your grandad, I wasn't around when you were posting but that much is clear from this thread.

The care home can't be that worried if they are only getting him a GP tomorrow, it does sound as if they are preparing him for a move, which I hope won't be too distressing for him.
 

sallyc

Registered User
Aug 20, 2008
1,674
0
45
suffolk
Thank you Helen and Noorza.

I had a terrible nights sleep last night. My dreams mostly involved Grandad and I have been awake since 3am.

I rang the CH this afternoon and spoke to a senior carer on his unit. She said he'd slept reasonably well last night, had been very sleepy today and hasn't really eaten, but they have helped him to drink to make sure he has had plenty of fluids. They really are good. They have so much patience and compassion. On Tuesday the deputy manager had spent 45 minutes trying to get him to understand enough to swallow 2 tablets. Considering he has his normal tables, plus the antibiotics, plus pain relief all given at various times, this is no mean feat.

The GP had got the results of the urine sample and has now prescribed a new antibiotic which should be more effective, they hope.

I have also had a good chat with Mum and Dad as I was starting to panic about the possibility of ending up in hospital. These things always happen when my parents are away. Last time was in May and it was very traumatic. I spent 7.5 hours explaining that I am his Granddaughter, that he has a son etc etc. It really knocked me for six. but back then I could always make him understand, clearly, what I was saying. Now, every time I speak to him he just says "I'm sorry love, I can't understand what you're saying."

The prospect of him ending up in hospital now, with only me here to help him, and him not having a clue what I'm saying fills me with absolute dread.

Anyway, I have rung the CH, on the advice of Mum and Dad and authorised them to take on extra agency carers to help with Grandad if it is proving hard to care for his needs in Mum and Dad's absence and to invoice Grandad for the cost. Hopefully with this as an option, he will avoid hospital admission - unless he deteriorates again.

I'll try and get over to see him tomorrow if I can.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
67,136
0
71
Dundee
Aw Sal. I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely grandad. I do hope there's some improvement soon. x