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Hi...feel a bit nervous about posting...

sallyc

Registered User
Aug 20, 2008
1,674
0
45
suffolk
Hi everyone

As you can see from my info, I've been a member for several years.

I used to be very involved in TP (a bit too involved, maybe?? :eek::() and knew lots of people on here. I haven't really posted for quite a while, although I do keep popping in to see how people are doing.

The longer it's been since I've posted, the more new members there are, and the less people I seem to "know".

Anyway...

For those who don't know, in 2009 I became one of my Grandad's main carers after he moved 200 miles to live near us (I guess I still am now, even though he's in a CH). I share the role with my Dad. Instead of boring you all here, I've just written a blog post about me and Grandad. If you want to know our history, it's all there.

I wanted to post because I know how much support and strength can be gathered from TP members.

Grandad has deteriorated a lot. He's losing weight, he's on antipsychotics for his aggression, he has a fall approx once a week and he hasn't a clue who any of us are, of his surroundings or of anything to do with his past :(

I love him so much. I miss him - my Grandad, the one I have so many amazing memories of. I hate what this disease has done to him. Physically he's so well, but mentally there's nothing :(

I visited him today. His hearing isn't good, but I'm usually really good at getting to hear me and understand what I'm saying. I hold his hand or arm, get close to his face and talk clearly. Today, every time I said anything to him, he just said "Sorry love, I can't understand what you're saying" :(

I love him so much. I miss him - my Grandad. the one I have so many amazing memories of. The one who decided, in the mid 1990's, he was going to drive his 1934 Model B Ford from Lands End to John O'Groats and went and bought himself a tent and came and joined us, camping, in Cornwall during the International Surf Championships at Fistral Beach in Newquay.

I'm just feeling sad tonight. :(

Sorry for my waffling :eek: and well done for persevering if you've read this far ;)
 

juniepoonie

Registered User
Jun 11, 2013
727
0
essex
sorry you are feeling sad ! we all have those days its sad for all of us who are witnessing a loved one with this desease. that's why its so important that we all share our problems an support each other whatevers going on in our lives , you are not alone. nice to meet you an sending you positive thoughts. juniepoonie
 

ellejay

Registered User
Jan 28, 2011
4,019
0
Essex
Hi Sal, I'm sorry you are feeling so sad tonight. Nothing I can say to make it better, can only send a hug.

Though it's sadness that brings you here again, it is nice to hear from you.

Take care

Lin x
 

sallyc

Registered User
Aug 20, 2008
1,674
0
45
suffolk
This is a photo of me and Grandad taken today
Grandad sept 2013.jpg
 

Nanak

Registered User
Mar 25, 2010
1,973
0
62
Brisbane Australia
Hi Sally
Lovely to see you posting again. I have thought about you and wondered how Grandad is.
It is very hard when the person you love no longer recognises you. The grief with this disease is so prolonged.
I hope you and your girls are well. :D

Kim
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,849
0
54
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Sally, nice to see you :).

Lovely photo - Grandad looks really smart which I take to be a sign that he's being really well cared for. I love the story of grandad driving his old Ford from Land's End to John O'Groats. Did he and the car make it?
 

copsham

Registered User
Oct 11, 2012
586
0
Oxfordshire
It is lovely to hear such memories. I notice that in the nursing home where my mother is ( a very good one) each resident has little history. They could have been famous, had ten children or driven from John groats to Lands End and this history gets lost.

Your first email this evening reminds me of a course I did re Alzheimers and being told that it is like loosing a person twice, once to Alzheimers and secondly when they die. As my mothers disease progresses it makes sense.

Although I don't know you, I loved that photo, doi:)ng wonders with a difficult situation !!:)
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,273
0
Kent
It`s lovely to see you posting again Sally. You have been missed.

What a lovely photo. Your granddad looks marvellous, a bit like Len Goodman from `Strictly`.

I`m sorry he has deteriorated so much. No one would believe it to look at him.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,516
0
Near Southampton
Good to see you back Sally and with a lovely picture too.
Yes, have to agree about your Grandad having the Len Goodman look.
(you can tell that 'Strictly has returned!)
Look forward to hearing more from you. x
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
0
Hi Sally,

I know you sid you were nervous about posting but i hope that the nerves have dissip ated now that you have had the courage to do it. The photo is a treasure and your grandfather looks extremely well. It really is sad though that alzheimers has affected him greatly in his being.

I loved the story of him deciding to go on an adventure in the car and then to buy a tent and come camping. He is a real character:)

I hope you find TP supportive Sally. It is good to see you:)

Love
 

turbo

Registered User
Aug 1, 2007
3,852
0
Hello Sally, it's good to see you posting again. Both you and grandad look well in your lovely photo.
I hope you will keep on posting on TP.


turbo
 

sallyc

Registered User
Aug 20, 2008
1,674
0
45
suffolk
Thank you

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments both here and on my blog.

It does help to know people understand and care.

xxx
 

sallyc

Registered User
Aug 20, 2008
1,674
0
45
suffolk
Had a call from the CH today. Grandad had another fall on Sunday and yesterday they were worried about his mobility so the Dr was called. He suspects a UTI so has taken samples etc and prescribed antibiotics.

This morning, apparently, Grandad was crying out in agony and paramedics were called. They ran an ECG, checked temp, BP etc and decided there was nothing that needed hospital admission so he would stay at the CH and be closely monitored by th GP, who followed up the paramedics by visiting again today.

It seems he may have a UTI and is clearly quite constipated. This is an ongoing problem which the CH are excellent at treating.

We visited this afternoon and he was in his pyjama trousers as he had had so many accidents that all his trousers were in the laundry. He was so, so unsteady on his feet that they are having 2 carers supervise him when he's walking and getting in and out of the chair.

My poor daughter was absolutely distraught at the frailty of her lovely Great Grandad and broke down in tears. It broke my heart to see her so upset. We both had a cry and a hug and then went back to him.

My girls are 10 and 6 and have helped me to look after Grandad over the last 4.5 years. They understand about Alzheimer's, but my eldest was clearly shocked today.

I will never force my children to visit if they don't want to. But if they want to go, I'm not going to stop them. It may be hard at times, seeing their Great Grandad like that (God knows it's hard enough for me) but I honestly believe it's important that dementia is not hidden away. It's real. It's affecting my Grandad in the most awful way.

I hope that my girls will grow up to understand it's nothing to be ashamed of or to hide from, and maybe in time they'll pass on their understanding to others.

For me I am feeling pretty heartbroken tonight. I can see him slowly slipping further and further away from me. He's here, but he's not. He's my Grandad and I love him so much. He doesn't know me, but that doesn't change a thing about the way I feel about him.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,516
0
Near Southampton
I'm so sorry to hear of your poor Grandad's falls and infection. It is so very hard to see someone we care so much about, in such pain.
Your daughter sounds a lovely and compassionate girl, Sally, what a treasure she must be for you though her distress must add to your own. It is so sad for children to see their Grandad deteriorate with this illness. I hope your Grandan soon recovers from his UTI and that his pain and suffering are quickly eased. XXX
 

turbo

Registered User
Aug 1, 2007
3,852
0
Hello Sally, you must be proud of your lovely daughters.
I hope the antibiotics will help your grandad. It's so hard when you love him so much.


turbo