Help on preventing inappropriate money spending

[Doogster]

Hi all

My 89 year old stepfather has dementia and we lost my 83 year old mum recently, so he's on his own for the first time in >30 years. We have private carers from 8-1 and for an hour at night.

The issue is that he's decided he wants to go on holiday on his own and has apparently today talked to a company, (from a newspaper advert), provisionally booked a cruise and is 'transferring money tomorrow via the bank'.

He is great in many ways, but won't cope with getting to Eurostar from Yorkshire or managing himself on the cruise. He has told his carer that he doesn't want any of us to come....

We are going to get hold of the company tomorrow and see if we can cancel it... Plus talk to the bank (his son has power of attorney). But he can come across OK at times, so I don't know how successful this will be.

Does anyone have any advice to manage this tricky situation?

Previously he had insight to understand he wasn't able to do this, but that has changed over the past 6 months as the dementia has progressed.

Thanks

 

[Rosettastone57]

Hi @Doogster others will be along soon with better advice, but is your step father telling you himself about the holiday? I'm wondering whether this is actually true. My mother in law would often tell me about what she was ordering from a catalogue, but could never have the ability to carry it out.

 

[Doogster]

Hi @Rosettastone57 unfortunately his carer was there when he was booking it, she tried to persuade him not to do it, but no luck....

 

[phill]

If son has Lasting Power of Attorney (Property & Affairs), he has the power to cancel any contracts Dad has made - but he may need to act quickly in order to minimise any late cancellation penalties.

 

[Doogster]

Thanks @phill that's really helpful.

 

[Chizz]

Hi all

My 89 year old stepfather has dementia and we lost my 83 year old mum recently, so he's on his own for the first time in >30 years. We have private carers from 8-1 and for an hour at night.

The issue is that he's decided he wants to go on holiday on his own and has apparently today talked to a company, (from a newspaper advert), provisionally booked a cruise and is 'transferring money tomorrow via the bank'.

He is great in many ways, but won't cope with getting to Eurostar from Yorkshire or managing himself on the cruise. He has told his carer that he doesn't want any of us to come....

We are going to get hold of the company tomorrow and see if we can cancel it... Plus talk to the bank (his son has power of attorney). But he can come across OK at times, so I don't know how successful this will be.

Does anyone have any advice to manage this tricky situation?

Previously he had insight to understand he wasn't able to do this, but that has changed over the past 6 months as the dementia has progressed.

Thanks

Hi @Doogster ,
A friend had this problem with her PWD, her OH, who ordered lots of expensive unwanted stuff on the desk-top computer.
She managed to get hold of his credit card, and she scratched off the three digit security number on the back, which stopped him spending. Just a thought.
Best wishes

 

[Monday’s child]

I have had this also with my mum; in her case it was buying anything that was on offer, half price, buy one get one free, or ordering those catalogues that have all the things you never knew you needed, she ordered steps to help her get into bed when she is immobile cannot lift her feet and has a dislocated hip, all the companies that have cheaper clothing ads in papers and the magazines that go with them. I had to stop all newspapers and magazines that have these types of ads in them and had to contact all the companies to remove her details and prevent them sending her their latest catalogues. I also had to put a barr on premium number calling as she was entering competitions on television. You have to be vigilant, I had to cancel a 'garden company' that she had arranged to put a paving stone path( about 10 slabs) in her small garden and wanted to charge her £4K.