Help me please!

[susie2uk]

CAn We Move MIL

Hello everyone,

would just like to thank everyone for the information and links.

I was just wondering can we move my MIL to a home nearer to ourselves? Its a messy affair as we now beleive there is NO paper work and the SS and everyone are ignoring us.

We live about 60 miles from where MIL home is which is a strain on us finacially and time wise.

We have been in touch with an advocate who claims they may be able to get the charges on the house taken off,he said depravation of liberty and breaking all the rules was a good argument, but having read what i have read I think this is unlikey. We had a meeting with the advocate who told us that MIL and FIL should have had advocate at the original assessments but the SS took MIL & FIL to homes and told the homes they had no relatives... But..... What can I say....

I think if the charges are going to stay on there house I would at least like to have MIL closer so we can see her every day. She is in a secure home so I am assuming we will need to find one in our area likewise?

Dad in law is 86 and in the late stages of Vascular Dementia so We dont think moving him would be a good idea.

To be honest I dont know how MIL would cope with a move either, but at least she would see us more than once a week...

regards

Susie

 

[jenniferpa]

If she is self-funded then she can be in whatever care home will take her. However, you would be well advised to use an advocate so that you protect your backs. What you really need is an independent someone who can talk to your MIL, explain what is going on, and record her agreement to move. However, perhaps not the one you are in contact with at present since he/she doesn't seem entirely up to speed about the current state of charging (although to be fair, this may not be a requirement for an advocate).

 

[susie2uk]

If she is self-funded then she can be in whatever care home will take her. However, you would be well advised to use an advocate so that you protect your backs. What you really need is an independent someone who can talk to your MIL, explain what is going on, and record her agreement to move. However, perhaps not the one you are in contact with at present since he/she doesn't seem entirely up to speed about the current state of charging (although to be fair, this may not be a requirement for an advocate).

Hi thanks for the info.

I have had email form the SS saying they are not getting guardian ship order for MIL as she has stopped asking daily to go home. They have her on drugs and thats why she has stopped asking to go home. SS say if she starts asking again the will contact there depravation of liberty, surley as she didnt want to go into a home she has already been deprived of her liberty for more than10 months? I can help feeling that they put my poor old MIL in the home so they could put the charges on the house for both the care homes. The SS have ignored us up until the email today as they think they have got the charge on for mum. We have objected to the charge but who knows.... I doubt we can move MIL now as she is settled and I think that would be worse for her. We will fight the home and SS though they seem to be in on this together and there is NO PAPER work for mum going into the home......The advocate has been on training courses apprently and will look at it all this week. I dont know if they are as powerful as they say. Thanks again...susie.

 

[susie2uk]

Re your comment: What you really need is an independent someone who can talk to your MIL, explain what is going on, and record her agreement to move

Since my MIL has been put on anti depressants for her dementia she is on another planet, she barley recognises us when go and see her and she sits all glazed eyed in her chair, they have made her quiet....Its so unfair. Does anyone know who prescribes the medication in homes, would it be the nurse or does a doctor have to do it?

She never wanted to go into the home, she has now been made a self funding resident. If i was to explain to her how much she is paying a wek she would say " oh really" before the meds she would have hit the roof.....Only since she has been on the anti depressants has she stopped asking daily to leave the home... Its another ploy by SS to keep her there...It's so sad to know that SS workers can be so cruel.... With help she may have been able to stay at her house when they lifted her, something we will never know...

We feel so helpless with all this there are som many rules and so many people not wanting to even talk to us.....
regards

Susie

 

[Marianne]

I think it would be best if you were to take advice from a solicitor who specialises in this field. As it stands at the moment I think SS have overstepped the mark by not arranging a full assessment of her health needs (which are different to her care needs) nor having the courtesey of contacting the family and involving them in any decisions regarding her future care but just placing her in a care home and means testing her.This is SS at their best.

I can recommend a firm of solicitors who specialise in CHC etc I will be happy to PM their details to you if you need them.

 

[susie2uk]

I think it would be best if you were to take advice from a solicitor who specialises in this field. As it stands at the moment I think SS have overstepped the mark by not arranging a full assessment of her health needs (which are different to her care needs) nor having the courtesey of contacting the family and involving them in any decisions regarding her future care but just placing her in a care home and means testing her.This is SS at their best.

I can recommend a firm of solicitors who specialise in CHC etc I will be happy to PM their details to you if you need them.

Hello

Thank you for your comments. Yes i would appreciate a Pm with the details.
thank you
Susie

 

[TyJane]

Good sound advice Susie!

Good Luck!

Jane

 

[susie2uk]

Good sound advice Susie!

Good Luck!

Jane

Thanks I think it is going to take more than luck... But I have time to fight back and try to get to the bottom of this....
regards

susie.