Help crisis

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,049
cornwall
I want to cry

I arranged with the GP an urgent prescription for lorazepam. Go was amazing and did it ASAP.
Told dad to phone and check pharmacy had it then go and collect.
He didn’t phone. He let mum ‘collect’ it on her way home from the hairdresser. Which she of course forgot to do.
So she’s upset because she forgot: he’s probably rolled his eyes and given her a hard time for forgetting.
So they are both wound up then go to the pharmacy at 5.30 (open late) to find they have to order it in. Dad says ‘we’ll find out in the morning when they will have it in’
WHAT??!!! And so what will happen tonight???!!!
So I get in touch with amazing gp who sends new script to diff pharmacy who had it in.
So now waiting to see if he will get it.
And of course how to get her to take it.
I know it’s hard for dad but there’s only so much I can physically do myself...
Can you not get it delivered?
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
I'm a bit perplexed @PollyM, are you trying to manage this from a distance -just to clarify your position?
o live about 25 mins away so I am there sometimes but not all the time. I work full time and have an 11 yr old so can’t be there as much as I’d like.
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
Ah now I understand -sorry I didn't want to comment until I knew your situation
I’m sorry probably not making sense atm. I just feel helpless and scared for her and for Them and I don’t know who to get help from or what help there is
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,277
North West
I was thinking is your dad feeling very unsure of what he wants to do in all of this? It must be hard for him to make some decisions here.
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
I was thinking is your dad feeling very unsure of what he wants to do in all of this? It must be hard for him to make some decisions here.

Yes it is hard for him. Very hard. I don’t underestimate that although I probably sounded a bit mean.
It’s just he doesn’t seem to do anything to help himself; then calls me for help when it all goes wrong, like last night: So I do everything I can to help, get the GP involved, talk him through it, explain patiently, advise him what he needs to do and he doesn’t do any of it then will wonder why she loses it again tonight.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,509
Yes it is hard for him. Very hard. I don’t underestimate that although I probably sounded a bit mean.
It’s just he doesn’t seem to do anything to help himself; then calls me for help when it all goes wrong, like last night: So I do everything I can to help, get the GP involved, talk him through it, explain patiently, advise him what he needs to do and he doesn’t do any of it then will wonder why she loses it again tonight.
I think if he rings you ring the out of hours clinical mental health team or 111. This is a reoccurring crisis situation.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,277
North West
Yes it is hard for him. Very hard. I don’t underestimate that although I probably sounded a bit mean.
It’s just he doesn’t seem to do anything to help himself; then calls me for help when it all goes wrong, like last night: So I do everything I can to help, get the GP involved, talk him through it, explain patiently, advise him what he needs to do and he doesn’t do any of it then will wonder why she loses it again tonight.
I wonder if he just wants everything to be like it used to be and is accepting when mum is fine, but when it blows up he then can't cope? I think thats understandable in some ways, dealing with changes like this can be overwhelming and its easier sometimes to think that it will all just go away ...what happened was a one off ..so to speak.

I think you are going to have to have a hard conversation with your dad, because although you know this is going to be a continuing problem, I am not sure by what you have written he does. As in letting her pick up her own medicines, thats not going to work unfortuantely, no doubt he means well by your mum, but really he isn't helping although he had good intentions and probably doesn't want anything to change if he can help it.

The lorazepam may help, but it may not. Some people though sedated can still swing into action full on, just to warn you. It may be that you have a quite night, hopefully.

You can't manage these scenarios continuously from a distance and your going to have to broach this with your dad and talk about the way ahead for all of you.

Hoping you have a peaceful night ;)
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
I wonder if he just wants everything to be like it used to be and is accepting when mum is fine, but when it blows up he then can't cope? I think thats understandable in some ways, dealing with changes like this can be overwhelming and its easier sometimes to think that it will all just go away ...what happened was a one off ..so to speak.

I think you are going to have to have a hard conversation with your dad, because although you know this is going to be a continuing problem, I am not sure by what you have written he does. As in letting her pick up her own medicines, thats not going to work unfortuantely, no doubt he means well by your mum, but really he isn't helping although he had good intentions and probably doesn't want anything to change if he can help it.

The lorazepam may help, but it may not. Some people though sedated can still swing into action full on, just to warn you. It may be that you have a quite night, hopefully.

You can't manage these scenarios continuously from a distance and your going to have to broach this with your dad and talk about the way ahead for all of you.

Hoping you have a peaceful night ;)
Thank you. You of course are quite right.
It’s not the first time and he knows that. He knows something has to be done. Both me and my sister have been doing our best to talk to him. Now he’s grumpy with me for making him run round after the prescription.
I know it might not work but it’s all we have... I can’t bear to hear the fear I her voice when she terrified there’s a stranger in her house.
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
I wonder if he just wants everything to be like it used to be and is accepting when mum is fine, but when it blows up he then can't cope? I think thats understandable in some ways, dealing with changes like this can be overwhelming and its easier sometimes to think that it will all just go away ...what happened was a one off ..so to speak.

I think you are going to have to have a hard conversation with your dad, because although you know this is going to be a continuing problem, I am not sure by what you have written he does. As in letting her pick up her own medicines, thats not going to work unfortuantely, no doubt he means well by your mum, but really he isn't helping although he had good intentions and probably doesn't want anything to change if he can help it.

The lorazepam may help, but it may not. Some people though sedated can still swing into action full on, just to warn you. It may be that you have a quite night, hopefully.

You can't manage these scenarios continuously from a distance and your going to have to broach this with your dad and talk about the way ahead for all of you.

Hoping you have a peaceful night ;)

Trouble is he still takes everything too personally and gets cross with her when she’s not making sense. She says she’ll do something, we know she won’t because she’ll forget. I find a creative way round it (I need to pop to the shops, I’ll pick it up while I’m there) where he will just say, oh well if she’s going to be like that I’ll let her get on with it.
Then he’s the one that can’t cope later.
Sorry I’m ranting.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,277
North West
Trouble is he still takes everything too personally and gets cross with her when she’s not making sense. She says she’ll do something, we know she won’t because she’ll forget. I find a creative way round it (I need to pop to the shops, I’ll pick it up while I’m there) where he will just say, oh well if she’s going to be like that I’ll let her get on with it.
Then he’s the one that can’t cope later.
Sorry I’m ranting.
I think you need to rant -difficult for you
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
You can get all medication delivered which is easier..Did the Lorazepam get sorted?
Yes they got it but she is refusing to take it... I haven’t heard anything so I’m hoping that’s a good thing. My partner is not taking all this very well either.
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
You can get all medication delivered which is easier..Did the Lorazepam get sorted?
I shall look into delivery thank you. It was just this was urgent last minute and doctor had bent over backwards to help
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,277
North West
Yes they got it but she is refusing to take it... I haven’t heard anything so I’m hoping that’s a good thing. My partner is not taking all this very well either.
If things do get difficult dissolve the lorazepam in a small amount of juice/ or water and see if she will drink it.
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
Courious how things went last night, hopefully more peaceful?
hello,
Yes they were thank you. And this morning was better too once she took her tablet, she wasn’t telling dad to move out or that the house wasn’t his. She was instead asking who he was and saying how kind he was being. Big change from last few weeks.
She’s quickly getting much more confused now though, which is hard to watch. Quite a rapid deterioration since December really.
We await memory clinic referral now and hope she doesn’t get too distressed again.