Help crisis

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
Hello all,
I’m sorry I just don’t know what to do.
My mum suddenly stirred on dad tonight and doesn’t recognise him, is frightened when a stranger in her house, wants to call police, get him out, doesn’t recognise me when I call.
She keeps storming out and trying to throw him out and is worried he’s going to ‘take a knife’ to her.
A total meltdown and I just don’t know what to do
Help
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,053
cornwall
Hello all,
I’m sorry I just don’t know what to do.
My mum suddenly stirred on dad tonight and doesn’t recognise him, is frightened when a stranger in her house, wants to call police, get him out, doesn’t recognise me when I call.
She keeps storming out and trying to throw him out and is worried he’s going to ‘take a knife’ to her.
A total meltdown and I just don’t know what to do
Help
Phone 999!
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,053
cornwall
But what will that do? Who? Police?
Do you have an emergency phone number for Social Worker or CMHT?If you don’t want to phone police try 111. They can advise. But if you think there is immediate danger 999 is better.
 

Quite contrary

Registered User
Jan 5, 2020
22
Ilford, Essex
@PollyM Hello. Sounds like sundowning. Are you there with them? Can you try to distract her/calm her while your Dad removes himself to another room? She will probably be ok in the morning and not remember anything about it.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
2,948
West Hertfordshire
Make sure your dad has a charged mobile that he can keep somewhere handy. If all else fails take himself off to a bedroom and call for help- Ambulance might be sympathetic
 

BryanG2001

Registered User
Mar 2, 2014
109
Keep records of what happened. Get an appointment with her Doctor. If it has happened once it will likely happen again, but at least next time it won't be such a shock for you and your Dad.
In the mean time reduce and stop all stimulants, like caffeine.
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
Keep records of what happened. Get an appointment with her Doctor. If it has happened once it will likely happen again, but at least next time it won't be such a shock for you and your Dad.
In the mean time reduce and stop all stimulants, like caffeine.
Thank you all.
Dad takes himself to another room but she just follows him and tries to throw him out.
She petrified he’s going to ‘take a knife’ to to her or something.
It’s happened before but not this bad.
I can usually talk to her and calm her down but she didn’t even recognise me on the phone.
We had appt with GP earlier this week and he’s making a referral to memory clinic but of course no idea how long that will take. Just don’t know what to do in the moment when it happens?
Do we really call 999? What would 111 do?
I just feel so helpless, she’s so scared and I don’t know how to help.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
3,801
Nottinghamshire
Hi @PollyM welcome to Dementia Talking Point

I hope your mum is calmer this morning. It is possible that this sudden confusion is caused by an infection so give her GP a call this morning and get her checked out.

If you called 111 and they felt it was an emergency they’d advise you to call 999. I think 999 would be more appropriate then a paramedic could be sent out or the police if there’s danger of violence. In my experience paramedics are very good with PWD and can make an informed decision on whether to take your mum to hospital.

Personally I’d call the GP and ask for an urgent appointment/visit.
 

Jennyt7848

New member
Jan 8, 2020
2
And now she’s suddenly become lucid again...
we don’t have a diagnosis yet. Just been referred. What should we do?
Following experience with my mum, it absolutely sounds like a UTI, call doctor and be prepared to get a sample for testing.
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
Following experience with my mum, it absolutely sounds like a UTI, call doctor and be prepared to get a sample for testing.
thank you all so much.

Mum is a bit calmer this morning but convinced dad doesn’t own house or anything. Not sure if she knows who he is.

I spoke to doc this morning and he said all her bloods are fine (she had blood test yesterday). He’s made referral but no idea how long it will take.
Meantime he has prescribed lorazepam to help with calming her. It is definitely triggered by anxiety as it’s only when she’s alone with dad.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,564
thank you all so much.

Mum is a bit calmer this morning but convinced dad doesn’t own house or anything. Not sure if she knows who he is.

I spoke to doc this morning and he said all her bloods are fine (she had blood test yesterday). He’s made referral but no idea how long it will take.
Meantime he has prescribed lorazepam to help with calming her. It is definitely triggered by anxiety as it’s only when she’s alone with dad.
Definitely call the out of hours clinical mental health team as you will need medical advice & evidence of this behaviour & how extreme it is. You can google this number if required for your area.
Much easier way of approaching this situation than waiting for 111 callbacks or calling 999, I couldn’t ring for police when mum had meltdowns. Social worker didn’t believe me until she witnessed it herself when mum was in hospital!
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
Definitely call the out of hours clinical mental health team as you will need medical advice & evidence of this behaviour & how extreme it is. You can google this number if required for your area.
Much easier way of approaching this situation than waiting for 111 callbacks or calling 999, I couldn’t ring for police when mum had meltdowns. Social worker didn’t believe me until she witnessed it herself when mum was in hospital!

Thank you that’s really helpful
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
Do you have an emergency phone number for Social Worker or CMHT?If you don’t want to phone police try 111. They can advise. But if you think there is immediate danger 999 is better.
M

I don’t have anything... we’ve only just been referred hence I have no idea where to turn!
Thank you for taking time to reply.
 

PollyM

Registered User
Dec 7, 2019
31
I want to cry

I arranged with the GP an urgent prescription for lorazepam. Go was amazing and did it ASAP.
Told dad to phone and check pharmacy had it then go and collect.
He didn’t phone. He let mum ‘collect’ it on her way home from the hairdresser. Which she of course forgot to do.
So she’s upset because she forgot: he’s probably rolled his eyes and given her a hard time for forgetting.
So they are both wound up then go to the pharmacy at 5.30 (open late) to find they have to order it in. Dad says ‘we’ll find out in the morning when they will have it in’
WHAT??!!! And so what will happen tonight???!!!
So I get in touch with amazing gp who sends new script to diff pharmacy who had it in.
So now waiting to see if he will get it.
And of course how to get her to take it.
I know it’s hard for dad but there’s only so much I can physically do myself...