Hello. Firstly I apologise in advance for such a long message... I have joined this forum, as myself and my sister are incredibly worried about our mum, and have been for a while. We also want to understand more about how we can help mum.
Our story:
Our mum is in her early 70s - she lives with my stepdad and our half brother. Myself and my sister have a 'tricky' relationship with our stepdad, and try to keep this amicable because of mum.
We have noticed that within the last year, mum has been more forgetful, has lost a lot of weight, her self-care has deteriorated (she used to have pride in her appearance, especially her hair and this has stopped). She has forgotten many pre-booked hairdresser appointments. My sister raised her concern with our stepdad in the summer, but was told nothing was wrong.
We spoke to our brother in early autumn, again to raise our concern. Our brother said mum sometimes forgets things, but put this down to tiredness. We agreed to meet up again within a fortnight, to discuss what we had noticed about mum during the two weeks. Our brother arranged for mum to have a blood test with her GP. Mum is now taking folic acid tablets as a result. I have a copy of the blood test results.
I spoke to a Dementia Nurse on the telphone for advice in early January. They were really helpful: suggested putting an LPA in place and things to look out for on the blood test and arranging a memory appointment with GP. This information was shared with my brother and stepdad.
Mum was booked in for a memory test with her GP at end of January, following my brother raising our concerns. Mum went on her own, and said she had to do different things and passed all but one test. She said the GP told her they would not need to see her for a year.
During the autumn/early winter, mum has sent concerning text messages: there's a man in the loft, not recognising her husband, referring to her husband as ***'s Mum, and a stranger, 'why is he in my house?' Mum and Stepdad have also been arguing. On my sister's last visit to see our mum, she said she could smell body odour on mum. Mum is also incredibly attached to the family dog, and this has become more apparent recently. Mum is the only one, apart from our brother, who can walk the dog. Mum has slept downstairs with the dog. Mum does not like to leave the dog at home to go out, even if someone else is at home.
We have also discussed LPA many times with my brother during the last year. He has said his dad will deal with it: his dad (our stepdad) will be mum's LPA and vice versa... Today, my stepdad told my sister to 'Drop' the conversations about LPA and not to speak to our mum about it. My sister has spoken to our mum, who has said it is a good idea. We have now received a message from our stepdad, which asks us not to take LPA any further - he said he knows what it is as he arranged one for his dad. I do think it's too late to put LPA in place now, but cannot understand why the reluctance to put one in place for mum. We had suggested that all children are named as mum's LPA, as well as stepdad. We have also sent my brother and stepdad information about LPAs.
If anyone has any advice/comments, I would really appreciate it.
My next steps:
Our story:
Our mum is in her early 70s - she lives with my stepdad and our half brother. Myself and my sister have a 'tricky' relationship with our stepdad, and try to keep this amicable because of mum.
We have noticed that within the last year, mum has been more forgetful, has lost a lot of weight, her self-care has deteriorated (she used to have pride in her appearance, especially her hair and this has stopped). She has forgotten many pre-booked hairdresser appointments. My sister raised her concern with our stepdad in the summer, but was told nothing was wrong.
We spoke to our brother in early autumn, again to raise our concern. Our brother said mum sometimes forgets things, but put this down to tiredness. We agreed to meet up again within a fortnight, to discuss what we had noticed about mum during the two weeks. Our brother arranged for mum to have a blood test with her GP. Mum is now taking folic acid tablets as a result. I have a copy of the blood test results.
I spoke to a Dementia Nurse on the telphone for advice in early January. They were really helpful: suggested putting an LPA in place and things to look out for on the blood test and arranging a memory appointment with GP. This information was shared with my brother and stepdad.
Mum was booked in for a memory test with her GP at end of January, following my brother raising our concerns. Mum went on her own, and said she had to do different things and passed all but one test. She said the GP told her they would not need to see her for a year.
During the autumn/early winter, mum has sent concerning text messages: there's a man in the loft, not recognising her husband, referring to her husband as ***'s Mum, and a stranger, 'why is he in my house?' Mum and Stepdad have also been arguing. On my sister's last visit to see our mum, she said she could smell body odour on mum. Mum is also incredibly attached to the family dog, and this has become more apparent recently. Mum is the only one, apart from our brother, who can walk the dog. Mum has slept downstairs with the dog. Mum does not like to leave the dog at home to go out, even if someone else is at home.
We have also discussed LPA many times with my brother during the last year. He has said his dad will deal with it: his dad (our stepdad) will be mum's LPA and vice versa... Today, my stepdad told my sister to 'Drop' the conversations about LPA and not to speak to our mum about it. My sister has spoken to our mum, who has said it is a good idea. We have now received a message from our stepdad, which asks us not to take LPA any further - he said he knows what it is as he arranged one for his dad. I do think it's too late to put LPA in place now, but cannot understand why the reluctance to put one in place for mum. We had suggested that all children are named as mum's LPA, as well as stepdad. We have also sent my brother and stepdad information about LPAs.
If anyone has any advice/comments, I would really appreciate it.
My next steps:
- I am going to write to mum's GP with my concerns.
- My sister is going to complete the LPA for mum to sign.
- Adding a 'find me' tracker on mum's phone for dog walks.
- Looking at mum's phone for any update on her GP app re: memory appointment. (Mum does let us use/look at her phone)
