I'm not sure that I'm posting this correctly. Sorry in advance.
I'm reaching out to someone for some help or advice about my elderly parents.
I am in my late fifties now I'm an only child of my parents who are 86 mother and 83 my Father.
My mother has always been quite a nasty woman and I've spent all my life terrified of her. As I've grown up I've realised how toxic the family unit was. My father has always been very protective of my mother and would do anything to keep her happy.
I now actually suspect that my mother had narcissistic personality disorder and my father was her enabler, and frightened of her also.
Sorry for rambling but I just wanted to give people the family dynamics and back story.
I have gone no contact with my mother now for 18 months, to protect my own mental health, as I have PTSD and other problems through her emotional and verbal abuse growing up.
I have been increasingly worried for my Dad, as now he is constantly verbally and psychologically abused by my mother 24/7.
I first got in contact with adult care about two years ago about my mother's behaviour towards my father and was basically told if he is willing to care for her and he is of sound mind then they couldn't intervene.
Fast forward to now she accused him of having an affair, not giving her any money and hiding her clothes. This is all not true and a few weeks ago she accused him of pushing her over and my father was detained in custody for 6 hours on suspected domestic abuse!. I have contacted social services again and informed their GP what has been going on.
Social services have been to access my mother but my father said she was so nice to them and played the victim. He is exhausted. He has done nothing but care for my mother.
Is it possible for someone with dementia to change their behaviour when in the company of adult care and Doctors. I just don't know what to do. I am worried my father won't cope with her for much longer.
I am their only family, I have chronic health problems myself and I live alone.
Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance.
I'm reaching out to someone for some help or advice about my elderly parents.
I am in my late fifties now I'm an only child of my parents who are 86 mother and 83 my Father.
My mother has always been quite a nasty woman and I've spent all my life terrified of her. As I've grown up I've realised how toxic the family unit was. My father has always been very protective of my mother and would do anything to keep her happy.
I now actually suspect that my mother had narcissistic personality disorder and my father was her enabler, and frightened of her also.
Sorry for rambling but I just wanted to give people the family dynamics and back story.
I have gone no contact with my mother now for 18 months, to protect my own mental health, as I have PTSD and other problems through her emotional and verbal abuse growing up.
I have been increasingly worried for my Dad, as now he is constantly verbally and psychologically abused by my mother 24/7.
I first got in contact with adult care about two years ago about my mother's behaviour towards my father and was basically told if he is willing to care for her and he is of sound mind then they couldn't intervene.
Fast forward to now she accused him of having an affair, not giving her any money and hiding her clothes. This is all not true and a few weeks ago she accused him of pushing her over and my father was detained in custody for 6 hours on suspected domestic abuse!. I have contacted social services again and informed their GP what has been going on.
Social services have been to access my mother but my father said she was so nice to them and played the victim. He is exhausted. He has done nothing but care for my mother.
Is it possible for someone with dementia to change their behaviour when in the company of adult care and Doctors. I just don't know what to do. I am worried my father won't cope with her for much longer.
I am their only family, I have chronic health problems myself and I live alone.
Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance.
