My mother has dementia but is in denial and accusing me of fraud, manipulation, being a professional con woman ect, she has put this in writing to various family members who thankfully are standing by me, she also tells me my beloved father who is no longer with us knew I was evil and warned her about me, she called the police so I haven’t been near her now for a couple of years, my brother has taken control and has joined in, it’s devastating and hard to keep sound of mind when so much bad energy is being thrown at me…. I am worried about my reputation and my business as we live in a small close knit community so to safeguard myself I’ve got this logged with the doctor and it’s been raised with social services.. I’ve got copies of land registry ect to prove it’s all nonsense as she’s accused me of putting everything in my name which isn’t legally possible even… any other help on how to protect myself would be greatly appreciated ….
Hello I’m relieved to find this forum
- Thread starter Rachellucia
- Start date
@Rachellucia , this sounds a dreadful situation to be in. It is not uncommon for a PWD to accuse family members of outlandish things but your brother is clearly not helping matters.
Does anyone have LPA for your mother. If you personally don’t have this then there is hardly any way you can do the things she has accused you of. And as for your brother, well what proof has he got? That is what I would be telling anyone who questions you or has a negative opinion.
This will pass as the dementia develops but the hurt will take some getting over I think.
Just read your added comment. Once she has a diagnosis then anyone else will probably understand. In the meantime any sudden change in her character could be down to an infection or similar illness and should be checked by the GP along with any other mental health issues she may have.
Does anyone have LPA for your mother. If you personally don’t have this then there is hardly any way you can do the things she has accused you of. And as for your brother, well what proof has he got? That is what I would be telling anyone who questions you or has a negative opinion.
This will pass as the dementia develops but the hurt will take some getting over I think.
Just read your added comment. Once she has a diagnosis then anyone else will probably understand. In the meantime any sudden change in her character could be down to an infection or similar illness and should be checked by the GP along with any other mental health issues she may have.
@Rachellucia, welcome to Dementia Support Forum. I'm so sorry that such a stressful situation has brought you here.
You've had some great advice from @SAP, and hopefully when she has been diagnosed people will understand that what she is saying about you isn't actually true. My mother never accused me of things (well nothing too awful) but she was convinced her neighbours were stealing from her. At the time mum was quite capable in some ways, and I was worried she'd find out where they worked and phone up to complain about them. If you spoke to mum about the 'stealing' for more than about two minutes you'd realise it was a delusion, but at least one of her friends, while not believing everything mum said, did think there was some truth in it until I explained otherwise.
Is there anyway you can get a supportive family member to help mediate between you and your brother? My brother certainly didn't think all the things mum said about the neighbours were true, but he certainly thought mum was much more capable than she actually was.
You've had some great advice from @SAP, and hopefully when she has been diagnosed people will understand that what she is saying about you isn't actually true. My mother never accused me of things (well nothing too awful) but she was convinced her neighbours were stealing from her. At the time mum was quite capable in some ways, and I was worried she'd find out where they worked and phone up to complain about them. If you spoke to mum about the 'stealing' for more than about two minutes you'd realise it was a delusion, but at least one of her friends, while not believing everything mum said, did think there was some truth in it until I explained otherwise.
Is there anyway you can get a supportive family member to help mediate between you and your brother? My brother certainly didn't think all the things mum said about the neighbours were true, but he certainly thought mum was much more capable than she actually was.
Thankyou for taking the time to reply with supportive and useful comments, my brother is not of sound mind himself as due to drinking and cannabis can be paranoid also this benefits him as my mothers wish is to write me out of the will and leave him everything ( it’s not even that much), I wouldn’t even fight for it as it’s all so embarrassing and ugly but I loved my father dearly and his wishes were to be for things to be divided equally …. I’m just staying out of the way and trying to get on with my life but I am the focus of their big dramatic conspiracy along with my aunt now who is also being accused of falling for my “ manipulation “ it’s a relief actually that they’ve turned on her too as we can see how mad it is… my mother has never been easy but this will be a horrific lasting memory to have to carry!… I actually feel very sorry for her and want to help her but that would be a tinder box and the police advise I stay away! 🥲
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