Hello, and thank you.

[patodeluxe]

My name is Patricia and my 86-year-old mother has dementia. She has been diagnosed through my own psychologist psychiatrist since she refused to see any doctor. She recently got Pneumonia, and would not even stay at the hospital, became extremely agitated and my uncle had to take her home and we had to hire nurses to give her the treatment at home. She is stubborn, difficult, paranoid, delusional, has trouble remembering words, can walk, can go to the bathroom alone, but needs daily care as far as cooking (the nurses cook for her and watch her all day) I had to travel to care for her and coordinate the whole thing. I am exhausted and have been feeling like I would rather my mom died sooner than later, and that we would all be better off that way. She has expressed that she no longer wants to be here many times over the past 2 years. She is not medicated except for sertraline, and she cannot be because she refuses also to visit a psychiatrist. I am lost and feel awful for thinking this way, but also, I don't want to see her suffer, nor do I feel I have the strength to cope with what is to come since I don't live in the same country as her and my whole life is elsewhere. I truly need to be in a group with people who are going through the same experience, I feel so isolated.

 

[jennifer1967]

My name is Patricia and my 86-year-old mother has dementia. She has been diagnosed through my own psychologist psychiatrist since she refused to see any doctor. She recently got Pneumonia, and would not even stay at the hospital, became extremely agitated and my uncle had to take her home and we had to hire nurses to give her the treatment at home. She is stubborn, difficult, paranoid, delusional, has trouble remembering words, can walk, can go to the bathroom alone, but needs daily care as far as cooking (the nurses cook for her and watch her all day) I had to travel to care for her and coordinate the whole thing. I am exhausted and have been feeling like I would rather my mom died sooner than later, and that we would all be better off that way. She has expressed that she no longer wants to be here many times over the past 2 years. She is not medicated except for sertraline, and she cannot be because she refuses also to visit a psychiatrist. I am lost and feel awful for thinking this way, but also, I don't want to see her suffer, nor do I feel I have the strength to cope with what is to come since I don't live in the same country as her and my whole life is elsewhere. I truly need to be in a group with people who are going through the same experience, I feel so isolated.

Hello, I don't think you are awful, it's not nice to see else suffering. Has your mum had a care assessment and carer had carer assessment? She may need a higher dose of sertraline is it worth talking to herû doctor? I appreciate you are in different
Country. There maybe others that will reply in the morning

 

[Louise7]

Hello Patricia @patodeluxe and welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your mum, and it must be especially difficult when are trying to help but are living in a different country from her. It's not surprising that you feel exhausted but people here understand, and hopefully joining the group will make you feel less isolated as there is always someone here to listen. You don't mention which country your mum is living in but if you let us know we might be able to point you in the direction of some local support too.