Hello again

[Sheila B.]

I have just realised that I could write a piece to introduce myself to the group.
I am caring for my husband who has dementia. His diagnosis is to be made on the 22nd of this month when he is to be assessed.
He was a very capable man who had worked as a television film director and further education lecturer in Media Studies, so possessed excellent communication skills.
He has denied having dementia for some time but it has been clear to me that his memory, cognitive abilities and communication have all diminished since before the first lockdown. Furthermore, his mobility has deteriorated.
On the whole, we are muddling along. However, my husband has no other support. He has made no real friends so has no other stimulus despite having a hobby. He spends a great deal of time on the computer reading very depressing news. I feel this is detrimental to his current situation but as he is very strong-minded, I cannot say too much.
I guess my reason for joining is to draw on others' experiences and find a way for me to be the best I can be for him as things get worse.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Sheila B. Welcome to Dementia Support Forum and thank you for sharing your situation. I found that being able to share with people who truly understand was a major help in dealing with my wife's Alzheimer's Disease. You can certainly draw on the vast amount of experience of all aspects of dementia that is held by our members. Read and join in conversations, ask questions, share more of your story as it develops or come here to let off steam. Use the Forum in the way that suits you. Our friendly and helpful members will support you when we can.

 

[leny connery]

mine also was also an 'above average intelligent' man who used to manage huge projects abroad. No dice. my mother was an illiterate indonesian lady. Dementia affected both of them regardless their intellects. Mine can no longer operate the remote, the phone, let alone the computer. he was a prolific reader, owned literally thousands of books, now cannot even read a magazine article or newspaper. mine also was not a social butterfly. I make sure he joins memory clinic gathering, coffee mornings, walks etc...for my sake too. I go nuts without social interaction. It is not easy to get him to get ready and to come, but when I managed to get him to do it, he seems brighter, more ready to talk and makes an effort. if you have not tried this, please do. find where in your area a meeting of like fated people and try to join. check from carer support website, age uk, even some church organisation, etc. if your surgery has a social prescriber, contact them for help and ideas. good luck

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome @Sheila B.

Your husband sounds as if he is cutting out his own reality by concentrating on reality he thinks is worse than his, in the news

His excellent communication skills were professional but now they need to be personal in recognition of his vulnerability. It`s hard going if I’m correct

My husband was very private and also had no support. His friends were scattered because we had relocated and he just had our son

Because of this I made sure I got as much support as possible for myself. I went to support groups and spoke or texted friends who were also scattered because of relocation.

Most of all my support came from this forum for which I’ll be forever grateful.