my beloved OH , married 55years, is once again in hospital.
He has lost his mobility...his dignity..has been reliant on two carers x4times a day for personal care...toileting etc.. he is catheterised but until a few weeks ago was shaving himself(saying a woman can’t do it properly!) At my insistence changed to an electric razor but now does not the strength to hold the razor for long so inevitably I shave him.
Before his admission his motor skills were declining...struggling to grip cutlery and difficulty finding his mouth, .
Life was wheelchair...recliner or bed...but he was at home with me. I was having to administer one of his three insulin injections as DN would only visit twice.
He has now been assessed as unable to weight bear.....nor use a rotunder and will be assessed tomorrow for chair safety, as he slumps to one side , or backwards .
Head knows that it is really time to say I cannot undertake the possibility of him returning home...knowing that the progression will worsen and my poor health will suffer .
BUT I lay awake thinking perhaps we should try at home( he would probably need hoisting!) but what if I am Iunwell or worse taken I’ll ..then it would be an emergency situation.
My heart is breaking writing this .......I suppose in my heart I know the head is right but can I bring myself to admit it! And make that decision that a placement in a home I would be the right move.
How would I live with that and the fact that OH would believe I have abandoned him........!
Apologies for long post but "...............................
He has lost his mobility...his dignity..has been reliant on two carers x4times a day for personal care...toileting etc.. he is catheterised but until a few weeks ago was shaving himself(saying a woman can’t do it properly!) At my insistence changed to an electric razor but now does not the strength to hold the razor for long so inevitably I shave him.
Before his admission his motor skills were declining...struggling to grip cutlery and difficulty finding his mouth, .
Life was wheelchair...recliner or bed...but he was at home with me. I was having to administer one of his three insulin injections as DN would only visit twice.
He has now been assessed as unable to weight bear.....nor use a rotunder and will be assessed tomorrow for chair safety, as he slumps to one side , or backwards .
Head knows that it is really time to say I cannot undertake the possibility of him returning home...knowing that the progression will worsen and my poor health will suffer .
BUT I lay awake thinking perhaps we should try at home( he would probably need hoisting!) but what if I am Iunwell or worse taken I’ll ..then it would be an emergency situation.
My heart is breaking writing this .......I suppose in my heart I know the head is right but can I bring myself to admit it! And make that decision that a placement in a home I would be the right move.
How would I live with that and the fact that OH would believe I have abandoned him........!
Apologies for long post but "...............................