Have I made the worst decision of my life


Registered User
Jul 1, 2005
After much agonising about my husband being in assessment/respite I have brought him home before he deteriorates anymore. It was just not right for him.
Also as there is no much trauma in my life at the moment regarding his care I've decided not to start work, can't concentrate on another disruption at the moment.
Of course all the frustrations of having him at home having him have returned and I feel so depressed and low and just don't know where to go next.
We are trying someone else for respite but if they are unable to control his medication poetically for Parkinson's he comes back worse than when he went and I have the fallout to deal with and this doesn't help the problem of hallucinations centred around me.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear Sue

I'm sorry you've had to bring your husband home from respite, but I can understand your decision, given how unsettled he was. It's rotten when you think you're going to get a break, and end up having even more problems to deal with.

I hope you manage to find another NH that will be more able to cope with him.

So the job is on the back burner -- but only on the back burner, Sue. Your time will come. I'm not surprised you're depressed though. You're trying to be positive, and being thwarted at every turn.

Let us know how you get on.


Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
So sorry sue, It`s `damned if you do and damned if you don`t` isn`t it.

If you were hoping to get to work, you must surely feel trapped now, because you can`t, and that must be instrumental in your feelings of loneliness and depression.

It looks like you have no alternative but to stick it out until you find a more suitable respite home.

Have the medics done everything possible re medication, or might there be an alternative worth trying.

I hope some way is found to make life a bit more bearable.

With love


Registered User
Mar 3, 2007
back home

hi im sorry things have turned out like that, i know how hard it is, especially when you see them, mum is currently having her assessment done and she hates every minute of it, she cant wait to get out of there, even to go into a home, but we have been told that she has to stay and finish her assessment and to be on the medication that is right for her, or the homes will not take her.
It hurts us so much when we see her, and to be honest mum was in a much better state when she went in 5 weeks ago than what she is now, we often wonder if we are doing the right thing by keeping her there.
I hope all goes well for you, why cant there be a cure for our loved ones?

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
Stay strong, Sue

Can't offer much but a quote sent to me by a friend:

"The biggest mistake you can ever make is to be afraid of making one."

Who knows, it may not have been a mistake or a bad decision ... but if it is ... it's not irreversible .....

Love, Karen, x


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
"The biggest mistake you can ever make is to be afraid of making one."

Who knows, it may not have been a mistake or a bad decision ... but if it is ... it's not irreversible .....

Gosh karan what good advice , I must cope that down

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