Handling rudeness

[Misty85]

Hi everyone. I just wanted some advice on how to deal with my Mum's rudeness to others. She can be very rude and unkind to me at times, however I know that is something I need to grow a tougher skin on. Neighbours I have messaged and explained she is unwell (there is one particular family who live near to her who she is very rude to) but how about when we are in restaurants/cafes?

Possibly I need to learn to be less of a people pleaser, but I find it really challenging to sit there and not apologise or explain. Any advice very warmly welcomed - this is all very new. Thank you

 

[Kevinl]

Hand signals, most but all people seem to get it if you hold out the palm of your hand vertically as a sign to back off, there is an issue.
A man "controling" a woman can be seen as an issue sometimes specially as my wife got early onset AZ, palm of your hand fingers apart and a slight wave worked for me most times. K

 

[Sirena]

I would apologise and explain, like you have been doing. You can get lanyards or badges saying something along the lines of "I have dementia, please be patient", so if your mother would be prepared to wear one that would help. But I realise its a big 'if' - my mother would remove that kind of thing.

 

[Misty85]

I would apologise and explain, like you have been doing. You can get lanyards or badges saying something along the lines of "I have dementia, please be patient", so if your mother would be prepared to wear one that would help. But I realise its a big 'if' - my mother would remove that kind of thing.

Thank you - she absolutely would not wear something like that! Would make things a whole lot easier if she did.

 

[Misty85]

Hand signals, most but all people seem to get it if you hold out the palm of your hand vertically as a sign to back off, there is an issue.
A man "controling" a woman can be seen as an issue sometimes specially as my wife got early onset AZ, palm of your hand fingers apart and a slight wave worked for me most times. K

Thank you

 

[canary]

You can get business sized cards with "please excuse me, I have dementia" (or similar) printed on them which you can discretely pass on to anyone who she is rude to

 

[Misty85]

You can get business sized cards with "please excuse me, I have dementia" (or similar) printed on them which you can discretely pass on to anyone who she is rude to

Oh that might be helpful. Thank you

 

[Izzy]

Not sure if these would be of any help -

Helpcards to support people with memory problems or dementia

Helpcards are for people with dementia or memory problems. They can make it easier for the person to get support when they’re out in the community.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Misty85]

Not sure if these would be of any help -

Helpcards to support people with memory problems or dementia

Helpcards are for people with dementia or memory problems. They can make it easier for the person to get support when they’re out in the community.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

Thanks so much

 

[Canna]

It can be toe-curlingly embarassing. I developed a wry smile and a muttered, "sorry, mum has dementia". The most unexpected people would smile back sympathetically and say that they understood because they knew someone with dementia.