Oh Lavender, and you thought the home was suitable. I know no home will be perfect, but still. Your mum so needs to be in a place where they understand and can easily manage her kind of behaviour, but why do so many say they can, but then the reality is different? What about the other place? Is that still a possibility? Maybe things will improve, and these are still 'teething problems'?
I am really struggling, but it's not clear to me right now what is causing the most stress and upset, as there's so much to deal with:-
- Someone living in my home (live in carer). She is very good and it has been tremendously helpful having her here but still, it's a stranger in my home and I have struggled more with this each day. It's just not something I like. But still, at least I have now tried it and KNOW I can't deal with it, whereas before I was just wondering! She leaves midday tomorrow. I am nervous, but I will have three calls a day and in between it will be just me and mum. I'm looking forward to that. Surprisingly, the agency has left her to make her own travel and financial arrangements for her next live in placement, which I was really surprised about. Considering she's not resident here, you would have thought they would look after her a bit more. We've had some stress this morning about that, but in the end I told her to ring the agency and get them to sort it, which they have. Amazing that I'll be paying them a huge amount of money for her services, yet I still got involved in the stress of her onward travel!
- The double incontinence. As well as the challenge of all the cleaning and changing, this is now causing extra issues with a nasty sore mum has, which just won't show any signs of healing. Mum is also on a rather large dose of diuretics, she picked up a new one in hospital. I think it's too much. It's causing sudden floods and we could do without that right now. District Nurse on the case, and GP due to visit early next week. As much as I hate the thought of temporary or permanent catheterisation, I think it might be the right thing to do as this thing just won't heal under current conditions. There's no easy answer to this one, but I will keep trying to find a way to ease the situation a little. Even with 'industrial' pads, we still have problems.
- All the phone calls and comings and goings. They have calmed a bit, but we get three visits a week from District Nurses, plus an OT and Physio occasionally (helpful, but will probably stop in a few weeks as mum not improving at all). There have been umpteen deliveries of various stuff and equipment. We still have one more chair to come on Tuesday. I've never had so much stuff in my home!! I am going to have to accept that my home will get a bit trashed too. May seem minor, but I am very house proud! There's already damage to my lovely wooden floors and doorways, but suspect this will get worse in time. May seem trivial, but it's my home ...
OK, only three points! But with all the above going on, plus meds, feeding, and everything else to do in the house, I am barely keeping myself sane. Maybe it will settle in time.
I conquered the previous challenges I had, and maybe once the live in has left, carers are calling at regular times, and sores heal a little (I hope) and visits and deliveries calm down a bit, I will start to conquer some of these as well. Right now I can't see a way through it all. Of course I am also still acting as the 'double up' and will continue to do so, three times a day, but in time I hope the agency will at least be able to send two carers to cover the morning session, which may further help. I don't know. And on top of all of this, I am really, really struggling to accept that six weeks ago mum was practically racing around the house with a walking stick, and now she's lost the power of walking. So sad.