My husband of almost 45 years has mixed dementia, diagnosed in 2020 but I knew five or six years earlier but the doctor kept telling me it was just old age. I am struggling myself with fibromyalgia and spinal problems and I'm finding myself getting angry with him , especially when I can't find things he has "put away". Or asking the same question for the umpteen times. I feel like I am not good enough, I've asked for help but been told I've been referred to a social prescriber. I am seriously considering putting him in a home but don't know where to start.
Guilt
- Thread starter GinaRose
- Start date
Do you have LPA and would your husband be self-funding. If the answer to both of these is "yes" then you'll find it easier to access residential care.
Hello @GinaRose and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. It must be so difficult for you trying to care for your husband and dealing with your own health issues.
It is difficult when someone repeats themselves constantly or puts things away for safety and then cannot find them again, even if we tell ourselves that it is part of the illness.
If your husband would be self funding, that is have assets over £23,250 you could start to look for care homes in your area. However if he has capacity he could refuse to go.
I would suggest that you contact your local adult social services to tell them that you just cannot cope with your husband anymore due to your own health issues and that you need an urgent assessment of your current situation. In the end social services have the ultimate responsibility for your husband, not you. I would also suggest that you discuss your situation with your GP to see if they can help you.
Please keep posting and tell us a little more about your situation so that we can try to give you as much as possible.
It is difficult when someone repeats themselves constantly or puts things away for safety and then cannot find them again, even if we tell ourselves that it is part of the illness.
If your husband would be self funding, that is have assets over £23,250 you could start to look for care homes in your area. However if he has capacity he could refuse to go.
I would suggest that you contact your local adult social services to tell them that you just cannot cope with your husband anymore due to your own health issues and that you need an urgent assessment of your current situation. In the end social services have the ultimate responsibility for your husband, not you. I would also suggest that you discuss your situation with your GP to see if they can help you.
Please keep posting and tell us a little more about your situation so that we can try to give you as much as possible.
