Grandmother (Mother Figure) Has Dementia/Alzheimer's

[msaute]

I figured I would try this out.

My name is Meighan and I'm 24 years old. My grandmother (on my father's side) had Alzheimer's. She has been in the nursing home for the past year and a half. Before then her memory was deteriorating as slowly as it was quickly.

It's odd to think my grandmother would be like my mom since my mom wasn't around - probably why I'm taking this more hard than normal. I was between a nice house in RI and a country town in Connecticut, in which both properties my grandmother owned.

I could go on but long story short she hasn't been doing well whatsoever. This disease is so crippling, such a disaster. My grandmother has been immobile for a month, and today she was gasping for air..my dad had to recommend to put her on oxygen - the nurse on shift did not even do anything until my dad politely said something. It was infuriating to hear that. I've been visitng her frequently, and today I spent 2 hours with her...she was mainly sleeping and incoherent but at one point she tried shaking my hand.

I'm in such numbing pain at this to see her in such a weak state because for her entire life she was a strong woman...I just don't know how to handle the situation I guess you can say - and drinking doesn't help. Thank you for the time to whomever reads my long statement. I am always here to listen as well, listening is what many people say I do best.

Thanks!
-M

 

[Babymare01]

Hello there Meighan - Im not the person to give advice - though there are so many wonderful people on here who can - because like you I feel Im on a constant learning curve not knowing how to handle my mum's condition who is in later stages of dementia. I struggle to understand my roller coaster emotions of seeing my mother has she is now. Yes the pain is numbing isn't it?

But what I can say is you are a caring kind person to just simply visit your grandmother. We have no miracle cure but we can care as you are doing. When I visit mum I hold and stroke her hand, I sing to songs on the radio or just simply talk about silly things. I don't know if mum knows Im there (eyes constantly closed) but occasionally her grip will tighten on my hand so I hope she knows she isn't alone in this journey to the end.

This evil illness is cruel beyond belief to so so many and in that please remeber you are not alone - This forum is the most caring, kind and understanding forum I have known and has helped me so much. So I send you a big )))hug((((

c xx

 

[pamann]

Hello Meighan, Welc ome to Talking Point, we are here to help you, please keep posting, so sorry your Grandmother is in a NH, my husband is in a CH he has Alzheimers, it is so hard for us to see our loved ones suffering with this awful disease.
Does she still recognise you? If so she would be so proud of you. Take care of yourself.